Title: Santa, Baby
Author: Charles (jcrewguy@gmail.com)
Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob
Rating: R
Summary: Someone's got a crush...
Disclaimer: Jay and Silent Bob belong to Kevin Smith. No copyright infringement is intended or inferred.

==============================================================================================================
Jay didn't want to admit it. He was disgusted by the very idea. It was ridiculous. Impossible. And other big words that meant he didn't want to own up to it.

But how else to explain the hours spent skulking around the mall? Always doing his best to stay out of the line of sight. Or the times he offered to help him get dressed?

Jay sighed. There was no way around it, the tubby bastard was *meant* to wear the red suit, fake beard and work as a fucking mall Santa. He looked fucking hot
in the gear. He knew that if Bob found out, he'd never hear the end of it. Sort of.

Jay had thought about pretending to be a kid and trying to sit on Santa's lap, but getting dragged from the mall kicking and screaming wasn't part of the fantasy.
Even Jay understood that much. Then he had gotten another idea.

He eyed the striped tights on the bed and shuddered. What a man had to do to get his rocks off. It was damn near criminal, but Santa was about to have a new, foul-mouthed helper. One with... grabby hands.