Title:  A Day at the Diner (written December 24, 2003)
Author:  Grampy Volvo
Pairing:  Jay/Silent Bob
Rating:  NC-17 (could I write anything else?)
Archive:  Yup.  Just tell me about it first.
Warning:  Songfic.
Disclaimer:  I don't own anything at ALL so don't sue me, please.  
Also I make no money off of this.

No Doubt was blasting on the radio at the diner.  Jay rolled his 
eyes.

"I didn't come here for any corny bullshit music!  I came here for 
fucking service!  Where the hell is the damn waiter?"  Jay was 
breathless with aggravation.  Bob simply shrugged.  He knew 
Jay was into No Doubt, that he was just being annoyed because 
that's who he was.  Or at least, pretended to be.

After a few tense moments of fingertapping on the table, Jay was 
at his wit's end.  "You know what?  Fuck this shit!"  he grabbed 
Silent Bob by his infamous trenchcoat and led him out of the 
back door of the diner.  They could still hear the muffled music.  
When the door shut behind them, Bob shot Jay a questioning 
look.  Jay swallowed hard, pushed Bob against the door and 
kissed him quickly on the lips.

*New, you're so new*

Bob peered at Jay, his jaw hanging from his face in utter 
bewilderment.  Jay just looked around sheepishly.

"I, uh, I wanted to, you know, for a long time," Jay stammered.  "I 
just never -- I don't know, I --"

His words caught in his throat when he realized that Silent Bob 
was smiling.  *Had he liked it?*  He couldn't even look into his 
friend's deep brown eyes long enough to tell.  Bob lightly put his 
hand on Jay's cheek.

"You liked --"  Bob's vigorous nodding interrupted Jay's question.  
At last green eyes met mahogany ones but soon both pairs were 
closed as the two moved in for the lustful kiss for which they'd 
both been secretly yearning.

*And I've never had this taste in my mouth*

Jay brought his leg up and rested it on the door while Bob held 
his slim thigh.  Their tongues continued to wrestle for 
dominance while their hands searched for hidden treasure.  Jay 
pinched a soft nipple and Bob ran his fingers through Jay's 
sandy locks.  The signature skull cap had fallen to the pavement, 
but damn if anyone really cared.

*Oh, you're different, you're different from the former*

Jay's nimble fingers slid down Bob's torso and unbuckled his 
belt.  The mischievous glint in his eye when he looked up and 
smiled made Bob nervous in the best way.  Jay freed his friend's 
erection and licked it like it was candy.  Even Silent Bob 
struggled not to make a sound.  Jay knelt down and lightly 
kissed the head before bringing all eight inches into his mouth.

*And I can't believe I've had this chance now*

Bob couldn't bear such pleasure any longer, and he spilled his 
seed into Jay's willing mouth.  The sheer taste of Bob sent jay 
over the edge as well.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, partly out of reflex and partly from realizing 
his jeans were wet.  Bob snickered silently at him and he stood  
up.

"You think this is funny, bee - ach?"  Jay sounded slightly angry 
but his face was amused.  "Come here . . . "  His voice was 
huskier than usual and he pulled Bob in for another passionate 
kiss.

*Don't let it go away
This feeling has got to stay
Don't let it go away
This feeling has got to stay
And I can't believe I've had this chance now
Don't let it go away.*

Their kiss ended as the song did.  Jay looked around, making 
sure he hadn't put on a free show, and picked up his hat.

"I'm sorry dude.  I mean . . . fuck, you know what that song does 
to me, right?"  Bob nodded sagely in response to Jay's lame 
explanation.  He always could see right through him and every 
stupid thing he said.

"Yeah, let's go home, Lunchbox.  I gotta get out of these fucking 
sticky pants."  Bob stifled at laugh at his friend's statement.  Jay 
was just grateful that his shirt was long enough to cover the spot.  

He put his arm around Bob's shoulder and they walked together 
(in an entirely new sense of the word) back to the dusty old 
apartment in which they lived.