Title: After 'Rats
Author: DeadGrrl
Fandom: Mallrats / Askewniverse 
Pairing: Jay / Silent Bob
Rating: NC-17
Status: New
Archive: Not yet please. Final will be emailed to the archivist.
E-mail address for feedback: deadgrrl2@yahoo.com
Series/Sequel: No series, just my on going obsession with the slashy 
nature of two stoners.
Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent 
Bob, and Mallrats. I'm just borrowing them for my own secret 
pleasures but promise to return them unharmed... just exhausted.
Notes: Dogma is so positively open to slash that I could scream. 
Mallrats, however, got far too sanitized in process, so the slash 
moments are rare, if non-existent. The best line from Jay can only be 
found in the deleted scenes on DVD. But they couldn't fool me. I 
*know* those boys were fuckin', even way back then.
Other Notes: Shout out to the Beta Guy Extraordinare, the mighty 
Clash. The only one of my straight friends not squicked out by m/m 
sex or masturbation questions. I love this guy. ;) And again, Essa - 
for one really great line and answering my question. Sometimes I 
really am a simple thing. Girl, we'll make you a Slasher yet.
Excuses: None. This was disturbingly the easiest and filthiest thing 
I have ever written. I *swear* I was channeling Jay. Clash says no, 
Essa can't bring herself to read it, and me... I'm inordinately proud 
of it.
Summary: Trisha Jones retrieves an item, and learns something about 
the boys in the process.
Spoilers: Yup, for an amusing sub-plot line in Mallrats. Also a small 
spoiler for the Mallrats book, as if anyone could get their hands on 
*that* sucker. As Jay would say "Rarer than a nun with a strap-on."
Warnings: M/M sexual situations and some amazingly filthy language 
written by a former catholic schoolgirl. Shocking, huh? Somehow, I 
feel that Smith would be proud.

"After 'Rats"
By DeadGrrl

"Jay! Jay! " Trisha flagged down the stoner as he and Silent Bob 
headed toward the Food Court. "What happened to the tape?"

"I dunno Dish, I guess it's still in the tape player by the stage," 
Jay replied as he nodded his head in the general direction.

"Jay, I need that tape. The tape is research. If they get that 
tape..." Trisha's voice was shaking, if anyone saw the rest of the 
tape...

"Whoa, take it easy. Silent Bob, go get Trisha her tape, post haste 
and shit." Jay told Bob. Bob nodded and took off toward the stage.

"Now, what the fuck? What's so important about that tape?" Jay asked 
Trisha as Bob dashed out of sight. 

Trisha looked at Jay nervously. "It's just some research, sensitive 
research," she concluded, thinking to herself that Randal would kill 
her if that tape got into the wrong hands...

"So, okay, more footage of you fuckin'... what's the diff?"

"It's not about me, it's about someone else, Jay. Someone who could 
lose a good friend, and possibly a life long companion, if he ever 
gets his head out of his ass..."

Jay nodded at this, and placed a hand on Trisha's shoulder. "So 
Silent Bob's taking care of it. Chill, will you?" Moments later Bob 
appeared, tape in hand.

"Oh thank God! Thank you, thank you!" Trisha exclaimed as she hugged 
and kissed Bob.

Bob nodded dumbly and went and sat on one of the many mall benches 
and lit up a smoke.

"What were you thinking? That my boy Silent Bob was gonna let you 
down? Not Bob, he's got a strong sense of loyalty and is dependable 
and shit... Lunchbox would be the last person to let you down."

"Lunchbox? Why do you call him 'Lunchbox'?" Trisha questioned Jay. 

Jay's mouth twitched into a smirk. "Chick wants to know why I call 
you Lunchbox, Bob," he called to Silent Bob who was sitting behind 
him. Bob looked up in surprise, eyes wide. "Think I should tell her?" 
Jay asked Bob who shook his head no. Sight unseen Jay responded to 
this negative, "I think I should, maybe clear some shit up here..."

Jay walked up to Trisha and leaned in close to her. "I call him 
Lunchbox, cause that's where I put my salami..."

Trisha looked into Jay's face and felt her cheeks flush. "Oh," she 
concluded as she glanced over his shoulder at Silent Bob, who had a 
hand over his eyes, his own cheeks a bright red.

"Understand?" Jay's voice held a possessive note.

"Perfectly." She responded quietly.

"Good, I'm glad we see eye to eye on this shit." Jay told her firmly.

"I never would have..." she trailed off.
. "It's okay, research and shit, I understand. Most people don't 
realize it and we don't advertise it. But he's mine and I don't 
fuckin' share."

"Yes, I see that now." Trisha felt her cheeks warm again at the 
conviction in Jay's voice.

"But I forgive you for getting your panties in a knot for Lunchbox. 
It's not your fault. He's just a fuckin' hottie. Too cute for his own 
good..." Jay looked back at Bob with a smile. Bob's cheeks were still 
flushed as he studiously looked at his feet. Sensing Jay's gaze Bob 
glanced up and Jay caught his eye as he completed the thought, "And 
he's mine." Bob smiled at Jay and looked away again. 

Jay's smile widened as he leaned over and told Trisha 
confidentially, "And when pulls this bashful shit he gets me hot." 
Jay's focus remained on Bob as he walked away from Trisha.

She watched Jay approach Silent Bob and lean his head low, whispering 
into Bob's ear. Bob kept his gaze lowered as he listened to Jay. A 
long moment passed and Bob looked at Jay then nodded in agreement. 
Both Jay and Bob left quickly, walking through the mall. Trisha 
watched them go and thought to herself she was very lucky that Jay 
hadn't held the research against her and still sent Bob for the tape, 
and that she was also very lucky that Jay hadn't punched her out for 
fucking his boyfriend. Feeling that she had quite probably used up 
all her luck for the entire month Trisha left the mall for home.

* * * * * * 

Jay leaned over as spoke softly into Silent Bob's ear. "You are so 
fuckin' cute when you blush, Lunchbox. Reminds me of how pretty you 
are when you come... You know, when you're riding my cock and you're 
moaning for me to fuck you harder... and that little moan you make 
right before your dick spits it out all over the both of us. Your 
cheeks flush just like now..." Jay spoke in a low tone as Bob's 
cheeks colored slightly.

"You make me so fuckin' hot with the looks you give me. Personally, I 
don't know how anyone could miss the fact that we're together. With 
you always giving me those 'fuck me' looks. Making me so fucking hard 
that I could pound nails with my dick... Like right now I'm popping a 
bone for you. Yeah, I see you eyeballing my package. It's for you, no 
doubt about that you tubby bitch. That's what you are you know, *my* 
tubby bitch. But goddamn if I don't love you for it. No one would 
believe me if I told them how fast you give it up for me, begging me 
to give it to you. No one would believe that my Muscle is the 
sweetest bottom ever. Damn, Silent Bob, you're such a hot lay, how 
the hell did I get so lucky?" Jay's voice questioned him softly.

"And you love me for it. You love me for every moment I tease you, 
torment you. You love it and you want more of it. I can barely keep 
up. Someday we're gonna sit down and I'm gonna make you tell me what 
goes on in that head of yours while I'm fuckin' you... But right now 
I think we need to adjourn to the Men's Room. So I can prove to you 
once again that you belong to me, that I'm the one that can make come 
until you scream, that I love you more than anyone else, and that all 
you gotta do is look at me and I'm lost."

Bob looked Jay in the eyes and nodded, got up off the bench and 
followed Jay. They walked through the mall and down to a maintenance 
corridor. The bathrooms for employees of the mall were so well hidden 
and hard to access that no one ever used them. Jay pulled a set of 
maintenance keys out of his pocket. He had lifted them off of some 
hapless employee months ago. Unlocking the door to the bathroom he 
held it open as Bob glided into the cold tiled room soundlessly. 
Locking the door behind him Jay turned to Bob.

"You know the routine..."

Bob gave a coy smile as he pulled off his leather trench coat and 
laid it on the tiled floor. Jay waited as Bob kicked off his shoes, 
unzipped and pulled down his shorts. Bob then settled on the floor 
resting on top of his coat, clad only his boxers and sweatshirt, 
watching Jay anxiously.

Jay smiled at the sight before his. He could see the thick erection 
pressing against the boxers. Goddamn if the man wasn't the hottest 
fuckin' thing Jay had ever seen. Jay would do anything for him, 
anything at all. If the truth were known it was Bob that really ran 
this relationship. Bob was just kind enough to wield that power over 
Jay. And Jay was thankful for it, because it let them have moments 
like this...

"I got something for you... Maybe you wanna tell me how much you want 
it?" Jay teased as he slowly unzipped his jeans. He rubbed his 
stomach before languidly slipping his hand down into his boxers. "Oh 
yeah, it's something you might be interested in, being my little 
bitch and all..." Jay's voice took on a breathy quality as he began 
to leisurely stroke his dick. "And it's so hard already..." Jay 
casually leaned against the door as his eyes closed. 

"Please," came the soft whisper.

"Yeah, this feels so fuckin' good, I don't think I'm gonna stop..." 
Jay continued to stroke himself, his ears straining as he listened to 
Bob's breathing increasing.

"Let me please," the whisper was a little louder, a little closer.

"I don't know, it's hard to get a better hand job then the one you 
can give yourself... Maybe if you offer me something better than a 
hand... Uh, yeah... But you better hurry, I'm startin' to get into 
this, making you watch me, knowing you're all hot for it...Oh, fuck, 
that feels good... Maybe I'll just beat it, and not touch you at 
all... Since you're all embarrassed at someone knowing that we 
fuck... Maybe we shouldn't fuck anymore..."

"No!" came the quick reply. "I want you to fuck me... I just don't 
want to share this, you, with anyone," was the conclusion to the 
thought, in Jay's immediate proximity. 

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you?"

"Yes." A whisper, warmth breath on Jay's thigh.

Jay opened his eyes and looked down at Bob. "Yeah? You're my slut, 
aren't you?"

Bob rested his head on Jay's thigh, his hand holding Jay's leg. "Yes."

Jay's hand paused in mid stroke. His other hand cupped Bob's face. "I 
need you, I need you so much that I can't even think when I'm around 
you. Everything about you, everything you do, just rubs me open, 
pushing me inside out so that I feel like I'm bleeding to death cause 
I just can't get enough of you... Get the lube, cause I'm gonna fuck 
you until I feel you in my blood." Jay whispered to Bob. 

Bob nodded and crawled over back to the coat, digging in the pockets. 
Jay followed him and peeled off his shirt, followed by his pants and 
boxers. As Bob located the lube, Jay sat down next to him and began 
to run his hand over Bob's back. "And take off this shirt, I wanna 
suck on your tits... " Jay told him. Bob nodded as he turned toward 
Jay, cheeks bright red, handing Jay the small bottle of lube. 

"You keep hittin' that fuckin' junk food and I'll be able to titty-
fuck you soon... Slide my bone back and forth between those bad 
boys, bumping you in the chin, blowing a load in your beard... Well, 
I'd enjoy it but would you get anything out of it? Oh, that's right 
your nips are sensitive, so you'd probably blow it right away, huh?"

Bob gave a quick nod as he pulled his shirt over his head. Jay's hand 
reached out and tweaked a nipple. The sharp intake of breath made him 
smile. "Yeah, you'd probably like that, huh? Luckily, I'm sensitive 
to your needs and all, maybe well try that sometime... Maybe, if you 
get on your back right now and gimme some good tail I can work it in 
to my schedule..." Jay trailed off as Bob laid down. 

Jay pushed Bob's thighs open, trailing fingers over hot skin. He 
caressed Bob's thighs for a moment and pushed back from Bob. Snagging 
the waistband of Bob's boxers Jay whispered. "Up." Bob's legs drew 
together and he lifted his thighs. Jay quickly tugged off the last 
article of clothing keeping him from what he wanted. As Bob's thighs 
settled on either side of him Jay tossed the damp boxers over his 
shoulder and slowly ran his hand over the hard length of Bob.

"What do we have here... This doesn't excite you, does it Bob? Being 
sprawled on the floor, naked with a boy pushing your thighs apart? 
Why, I thought you was about the clam, having had that one-nighter 
with Dish... You know, when you got to 'plow a furrow' and shit. Had 
yourself a bit of kitty... and yet you're here, on the floor, with a 
boy and your dick ready to shoot. Could it be, you want me to fuck 
you?" Jay asked sweetly.

Bob's breath was coming in gasps; Jay's hand making it hard to 
concentrate. "Yes," he moaned.

Jay picked up the bottle of lube and flipped open the top. He 
released Bob's cock and poured some lube onto his fingers. Bob 
watched him, wetting his lips, waiting. Jay took his time warming the 
lube between his fingers. "Oh, this ain't for you, this is for me." 
Jay told Bob non-chalantly as he slicked up his own erection. "I 
don't know about you but I find it easier to jerk off with lube. 
Makes everything so nice and slick." Jay smiled.

"Please, Jay..."

"Of course, I could just fuck you, probably be better than a hand 
job. What'dya think?"

"Jay..." Bob whispered, his breathing still erratic.

Jay smiled at Bob as he poured more lube out. Bob's breathing 
increased another notch as he watched Jay rubbing lube between his 
fingers. Jay's teasing monologue disappeared completely as he watched 
Bob shuddering in anticipation. Wordlessly Jay leaned forward and 
kissed Bob's lips as his hand began a small circling motion at the 
tight entrance. He kissed Bob's softly as his fingers began to work 
the opening, sliding and stretching, fingers pushing into Bob. 

During this Jay's mouth traveled down his neck to his chest. Warm 
lips feathered kisses across Bob's chest as Bob's breathing 
increased. His tongue flicked across one hardened nub as Bob moaned 
loudly. As his tongue gave equal time to the other nipple Bob shook. 
Jay's mouth then gently latched onto one nipple, slowly licking the 
rigid flesh, teeth gently nipping. Bob was near hyperventaliating be 
the time Jay finished re-enacting the same treatment on the other 
nipple. Giving one last lick, Jay abandoned the small hard nubs, 
knowing that if he continued Bob would come in a matter of minutes. 
Instead he kissed the full lips that were panting and moaning so 
sweetly for him. Bob's mouth meet his in a wet kiss, hungrily kissing 
him back.

Jay broke off the kiss and smiled down at the man twitching under his 
hands. Bob was more than ready, he was anxious. Jay waited until his 
hands brought out the voice of his silent companion. It would be 
soon, as Jay could feel Bob clutching at the fingers being worked 
into him. He had to drive Bob to the edge to get him to talk, to make 
him verbalize what he wanted, how bad he wanted it. Bob moaned and 
gasped at the long digits penetrating him, making him shake and 
sweat. Jay waited.

"Jay..." came the soft inquiry. 

"Jay please..." a little more insistent.

"Jay, I need you." A bit more determined.

"Jay... Oh, god, Jay!" Almost there, Jay noted.

"Jay, fuck me... Come on, fuck me already, damn it..." Ah, there's 
my boy, Jay smiled. He kissed Bob again and began to shift his 
position, listening to Bob's voice demanding. 

"Come on, I want you, hurry, damn it, in me now..." 

A moment later the fingers were replaced by Jay's hard cock, pushing 
slowly into Bob. Bob felt his eyes roll in their sockets. Jay was 
going slow, taking his time, drawing it out. "Oh fuck, please, 
Jay..." Bob moaned aloud. Finally Jay was in him, his balls pressing 
against Bob's ass. Bob gave a heaving gasp, the sensation of being 
too full, the pounding of his pulse; all making him feel faint. "Jay, 
Jay, please, Jay, please..." Bob's voice called to his lover.

Jay's hand warmly embraced the hard cock in front of him as he began 
to move his hips. He watched Bob's face as his cock slowly sunk into 
Bob's ass again. The man under him was shaking and clutching at him, 
cursing and swearing at him. It was the hottest thing Jay had ever 
experienced, it always was. He listened to Bob as his speed picked 
up, and correspondingly increased the speed of his hand, jerking Bob 
a little faster.

"Oh fuck, give it to me, yeah, damn it, harder..." Bob's voice was 
now coming non-stop as Jay worked a steady rhythm. He listened to the 
words that Bob was mumbling, lost deep in the fuck. 

"Mine..." Jay hissed as he released Bob's cock and firmly grabbed 
Bob's hips. Thrusting into the tight, hot channel as Bob's legs 
wrapped around his waist.

"Fuck yeah, yours, yours, harder, fuckin' harder..." Bob moaned as 
his hand swept over his own cock.

Jay's thrusts came faster and he could feel Bob spasming around him. 
Jay closed his eyes as he concentrated on not losing it yet. Bob's 
moans and pleas, orders and directions washing over him as he 
concentrated solely on making it last, on making it good. The 
sensation of Bob clutching at him, the hot slickness was hard to 
ignore. He felt his cock twitch and knew it wasn't much longer.

Jay released his grip on Bob's hips and pushed Bob's legs back a 
little farther, slamming into Bob deeper. Jay's hair fell over them, 
strands slipping across flesh like gentle fingers, teasing and 
distracting. He tossed his head back thrusting harder and heard the 
strangled gasp as Bob orgasmed, hot fluid striking him in the chest. 
Jay lost it immediately after that, his own orgasm triggered by the 
cry of "Yes! Jay! Yes!"

The full body shudder as he pour himself into Bob left him gasping, 
as he collapsed on Bob. He felt warm hands caressing his back as he 
lay boneless on top his lover. They spent a long moment lying there, 
gasping and satisfied. Jay finally shifted himself up and kissed Bob, 
his lips pressing against that sweet mouth. Bob's tongue lightly 
licked at Jay, teasing. Jay broke off with a small laugh. "Insatiable 
bitch," he teased as his hands brushed the dark hair away from Bob's 
temples. Bob's eyes fluttered open as he smiled at Jay.

"You are so fucking pretty," Jay told him, taken by sheer-goddamn 
perfectness of it all. Bob's hand reached up and pushed the long 
strands of hair away from Jay's face, caressing the soft cheek, his 
silence covering them both as their habits reinstated themselves. Jay 
kissed Bob again and rolled off him, searching pockets for a smoke.

Lighting up Jay collapsed on his back next to Silent Bob and handed 
the cigarette over. "Now that's gotta be one of the better fucks 
we've ever had Lunchbox. You were all moaning and calling my name and 
shit. Goddamn, you gotta be the best lay I've ever had. Fuck, who'd a 
thunk it and shit? I swear, we don't fucking do it anywhere near 
enough for my liking. If I had it my way you'd never make it out of 
our bedroom. I'd have your tubby ass morning, noon and night... Wait, 
I already do. Goddamn, why the hell do we ever bother leaving the 
house anyway?" Jay mused. Smiling, he answered his own 
question. "That's right, business. Fucking business. It's always 
something, hey Bob?"

Silent Bob smiled in response. It was something, all right.

END