Title: The Alyssa Menace
Author: DeadGrrl
Fandom: Askewniverse (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma)
Pairing: Dante/Randal and Jay/Silent Bob
Rating: NC-17
Status: New
Archive: Not yet please. I will email the final to the archivist.
E-mail address for feedback: deadgrrl2@yahoo.com
Series/Sequel: No series, just my ongoing obsession with the slashy 
nature of two stoners AND two clerks.
Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent 
Bob, Dante, Randal and the Askewniverse and quite possibly Mewes. I'm 
just borrowing them for my own secret pleasures but promise to return 
them unharmed... but smiling.
Notes: I loved Chasing Amy and I loved the character of Alyssa Jones. 
I felt she needed to have some positive influence on some of our 
characters. So, I figured I'd provided it. Forgive me Smith, for I 
have sinned... But damn, if I didn't have fun doing it.
Summary: Alyssa Jones influences 4 lives.
Warnings: M/M Sexual Content, First Time(s)
Spoilers: Not really, unless you consider the outtakes/alternate 
ending for Clerks
Parting Remark: "It's Smith's World... And I'm gonna slash it."

"The Alyssa Menace"
By DeadGrrl

"Oh fuck you, he is not." Randal called from his familiar post next 
to Dante's side behind the counter.

"Like I'd value the opinion of some fuckin' clerk..." came the testy 
reply from the junk food aisle.

Alyssa Jones stood in the doorway of the Quick Stop and felt a wave 
of nostalgia. Something's, she grinned to herself, never change. 
Walking into the convenience mart she ducked down an aisle looking 
for maple syrup. Trisha had requested she pick some up for breakfast 
on the way over. Alyssa was looking forward to seeing her sister. It 
had been far too long. Spying the syrup she headed towards the amber 
colored bottles and frowned at the prices. $6.20 for a minuet bottle 
of 'genuine' Vermont syrup. Highway robbery, she sighed. She went 
down the second aisle for muffin mix and caught more of the thread of 
conversation between the smart-ass clerk and the stoner.

"Darth Maul is so the fuckin' baddest of them all."

"Give it up Jay," Randal called to the druggie. "He was sliced open 
like pumpkin in the first movie... You call that bad ass?"

Alyssa smiled again. Indeed, something's never do change.

"Fuckin' back me up here tubby! Did Darth Maul kick ass or not?" 
Jay's voice was becoming clearer as Alyssa came around the corner. 
She almost ran smack into Silent Bob, who gave a gasp at her 
presence. She grinned at him and he pulled her into a big bear hug.

"Who the fuck are you touchin'?" Jay started and trailed off as Bob's 
bulk moved out of the way to reveal Alyssa. "Fuckin' Fingermrphs," 
was all Jay got out as Bob's hand slapped over his mouth. Bob gave 
him a warning glance.

"I'd really hate to have to knock all of your teeth out of your head 
this evening, Jay." Alyssa returned with her own dangerous glance. 
She felt quite assured she could kick Jay's ass. Bob, was another 
thing. But judging by the disapproving look that he was giving Jay, 
Bob just might help her.

Jay had also obviously assessed the situation before tugging Silent 
Bob's large hand from his mouth. Shooting Bob a dirty look, he 
replied, "All right, all right! Alyssa Jones, I remember it now. Yo, 
Lyssa what up?" Jay kept his eyes on Bob who gave him an approving 
nod. 

Alyssa smiled at the dynamics of their relationship. Pity, neither of 
the boys could figure it out themselves. Sighing she replied, "I'm 
fine Jay, how about you and your better half?" 

Jay glossed over the term and replied, "Lyssa, it's been a hell of a 
week. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say if myself 
and Lunchbox hadn't represented, there'd be nothin' left."

"Keeping us safe from harm and supplying the tri-town area with 
smoke. Quite a chunk you got there on your plate. Sure you can handle 
it?" Alyssa taunted. 

Jay was not rising to the bait, if indeed he even recognized it. 
Instead he just slapped Silent Bob on the back and 
responded "Someone's gotta do it. Me and Silent Bob have got it under 
control."

"Sure enough," Alyssa agreed as she brushed past them. As she moved 
out of the aisle Jay made some tongue gestures at Silent Bob, who 
just shook his head and followed Alyssa toward the front of the store.

Still at his post Dante greeted Alyssa, "A veritable blast from our 
past, Alyssa Jones. Long time no see."

"Hey Alyssa," called Randal as he glanced up. "How's the book doing?"

Pleased that someone actually knew of her small success she gave him 
her best smile and responded, "Great, I just sold out of this month's 
run." 

Randal whistled. "Damn good for an old Tri-town girl!" His eyes 
refocused on the TV screen.

"Now here's someone that would have valuable input on our current 
discussion," Jay piped up behind her. "Being that she's in with those 
funny-book freaks, and they're all about that sci-fi shit. She'd 
agree with me."

"On?" Alyssa arched her brow, unwilling to commit to any sort of an 
agreement with Jay.

"On the best bad-ass of them all. Darth, double-barreling it, Maul. 
These cocksmokers think my boy Maul was weak just Kenobi got his ass. 
I say Lucus is bringing that motherfucker back into action next 
flick. That it ain't over till that Anakin fuck sings..."

Randal shook his head, "Kenobi, a *Padawan*, bested your 'bad ass'. 
Case closed."

"Fuck! It only took Kenobi, the *greatest* Jedi Knight ever, to kill 
him...Besides I think Kenobi got lucky, and Lucas wanted to end on an 
up note, so he sacrificed his supreme bad ass so he could rise 
again." Jay argued.

"Well, I did think Darth Maul was pretty fierce." Alyssa replied.

"Snoogans. Told you so, cocksmokers!" Jay nodded his head toward 
Silent Bob, feeling victorious. Bob nodded back as he watched the 
blond gloat.

"I think the only reason Kenobi got him was, well, motivation." 
Alyssa concluded.

"Jedi's don't do revenge." Dante piped in, not looking up from his 
magazine.

"Well, not revenge, exactly." Alyssa deferred.

"Then what?" Randal asked, looking away from the TV set, getting into 
the conversation.

"Well, let me explain it." Alyssa replied as she put her items on the 
counter. "Imagine Kenobi's mind set for that battle," she started 
only to be interrupted by Jay.

"He was gonna avenge Cum Squat Jinn, or whatever that fucks name 
was." Jay finished as Silent Bob elbowed him to be quiet. "Knock it 
off, you tubby bitch," Jay hissed at Bob. Bob put a finger to his 
lips and motioned that he should let Alyssa talk. Jay sulked but was 
quiet.

"So, Jedi's aren't about revenge, but I don't think it was revenge. 
More like extreme motivation."

"How do you mean?" Dante asked, looking up at Alyssa.

"I mean try to imagine, Kenobi. According to the books, he was sent 
to the Academy as a child. He had few friends and almost wasn't a 
chosen to be a Jedi at all."

"So?" Randal prompted.

"So this. Obi-wan was taken at an early age, because he had 
potential. He was cut off from his family, and had no family unit in 
his life till he was apprenticed at age 13..."

"But what the fuck does that have to do with..." Jay started and was 
shushed by the 3 men as Alyssa continued. Jay rolled his eyes, 
growing bored.

"So imagine, being alone most of your life. Never making a 
connection. And then suddenly someone chooses you. This someone will 
take care of you, watch over you. This person will train you in all 
of your duties and in life itself. This person has become a teacher, 
a friend and a family. So you've gone from nothing to an incredible 
something. From being a person all alone to a being a family. So you 
spend years with this person, training, learning, and growing. 
They're there to guide you, catch you, praise you and punish you. To 
set your feet on the right path..." Alyssa paused for a breath. The 
men gathered around her remained silent, spell bound. She knew she 
had them. 

"It's like your very best friend in the entire world. The only one to 
understand you. The only one to always back you up, no matter how 
wrong or right you are. And you know that they care for you, that 
there may never be any other to ever care about you this way. That 
they love you unconditionally. You place faith in that. That out of 
all the stupid things in life, that at least you know that the love 
of this person is yours."

"Yeah," Jay mumbled softly as he unconsciously moved closer to Silent 
Bob.

"But because you're young, and still a bit foolish, maybe you never 
tell them. Or just assume they know that you love them also. That in 
your eyes there is no one else. That you have seen enough of life, 
and know enough of life, that you are quite sure that your destiny 
and theirs are intertwined. That you will always be there for them, 
and that you hope they will always be there for you." She finished 
softly. As she looked up at Dante, she noticed Randal staring at his 
friend. Oh, yes, she was going to get them good...

"And then some maniac steps through the doors and strikes them down." 
She spat out. 

Randal shuddered. He looked at her sharply, almost as if she had 
touched some nerve. 

"Some lunatic steps into the picture. And he doesn't care about that 
friendship or that love you've never spoken of. He doesn't care that 
you never said those words or that you had so much more to talk 
about. He doesn't care that maybe you were waiting for that perfect 
moment, to tell your beloved..." she trailed off and looked away. "He 
just doesn't care." She said coldly.

"No, he just skewers them. Strikes at them, and puts a hole in their 
chest." She continued in an oddly cold, detached tone. Dante rubbed 
his chest unconsciously. Randal got up from his seat and put his hand 
on Dante's arm. Oh yes, if someone didn't crack, she had no worth as 
a storyteller at all.

"And you watch, trapped by circumstance. Unable to help, unable to 
protect. You watch as they fall to the ground, air escaping them, 
wound weakening them, and you unable to reach them. You are forced to 
watch as moment's tick by, each and every precious second taking them 
from you, and you can only watch.

"Each moment brings a thousand regrets, and a thousand paths 
disappearing forever, sinking back into the cold night. Each moment 
hangs like a thousand days and nights in-between you. And yet you can 
only watch, as their breath becomes shallow and their skin pale and 
eyes dull.

"And you know, you know..." She hung her head. "You know, that they 
are leaving you. That they are going some place you cannot follow. 
That they are leaving you not by their choice, but by some madman's 
decree." She whispered.

Alyssa looked up at the men around her, with just a touch of anger in 
her eyes. Jay backed up into Silent Bob, who put a hand on his 
waist. "Some asshole, with a double barrel special, took them from 
you. Took their future, took your future - together. Some 'tattooed 
freak', stepped in from the night and took everything. He took 
*EVERYTHING*. Without so much as a by-your-leave, he took it all. And 
left you with nothing.

"Anger." She concluded. "Anger is just a fleeting emotion. Rage. Rage 
is the beginning to understanding and defining it. Wrath is what 
others may call it. Vengeance is just a word. Because nothing can 
take away the sensation that part of your soul has just been filleted 
away.

"That son of a bitch took more then you ever realized you could give. 
Because you never realized, until that moment, how fleeting all of 
this," she gestured to everything, "was. You never knew you could 
have all those opportunities stripped from you. You never dreamed 
that someone could walk in from the endless night and just take it 
all." Her voice was a whisper. Maybe I should look into acting, she 
mused.

"And suddenly you're free of what was imprisoning you, and the slayer 
of all that was right in your world stands before you. Mocking you. 
Mocking your loss. Waiting to take you and let you die with the 
knowledge that you failed your beloved not once, but twice...

"Revenge," she began again, "doesn't begin to cover it. You will kill 
this bastard. You will kill this bastard because you know that 
nothing could ever be right in a world where this son of a bitch 
would walk free. And he would, you know he would. Nothing could ever 
repay the abomination of having a loved one taken from you... 
nothing. And this bastard's death will not even begin to pay the 
price.

"So you fight, better then you ever have in your life. You are at one 
with the moment because the moment has taken on the horrific clarity 
of being the one moment you will remember for all of the rest of your 
days... And you cut that motherfucker down, slice through him, and 
watch as he tumbles away from you like rubbish."

"Yeah!" Jay hissed quietly, his eyes slightly out of focus. Alyssa 
ignored this and continued.

"And as you watch your enemy fall away, you become aware of your 
beloved, drawing their remaining breaths. You hurry to their side, 
and the grief you feel breaks through the rage and makes a hollow in 
your soul. You pull them to you, and whisper 'Please, no, don't go. 
Please, please.' And they hear you but can't stop the journey. And 
they tell you what you must do, and you don't care about any of that, 
you have to tell them, they have to know... As they brush the tears 
from your cheek, you realize that they already knew. They knew all 
along. Your secret was not a secret to them. How could it be? They 
who know you better than all others, they who cherished you more than 
other. They have always known. And they feel the same... but it's too 
late now. They close their eyes and step into that unknown, where you 
cannot follow. And all that remains behind is an empty shell, a 
loneliness unlike any you have ever known, and just you - crying 
tears for someone that you will never see again and for that painful 
hollow left inside." She concluded softly, her eyes on the floor.

"That, gentlemen, is motivation," she added. A moment passed as the 
men processed what she had said. Alyssa dug out a ten, and placed it 
on the counter. "Keep the change," she said softly as she picked up 
her purchases and left. But not before she stole a glance at the 
assembled men. If nothing came out of this she'd be very disappointed.

Shaking her head, she went to her car parked across the street. She 
took a moment to put the things in the trunk, unlocked her door and 
slipped into the driver's seat. Checking her makeup in the rearview 
mirror she brushed a mascara streak away. "Girl, you been reading 
*way* too much slash." She gave a small smile and started the car and 
flipped on her headlights. As she pulled away from the curb her 
headlights glanced off a couple standing away from the street light. 
The couple consisted of a tall darkly dressed individual leaning into 
a shorter, stouter individual. And kissing. Alyssa smiled, "About 
fucking time!" she muttered aloud.

As she did a U-turn with her car she also noticed that RST Video and 
Quick Stop were both noticeably dark. Grinning widely she gave 
herself a mental pat on the back. "Told you, you still got it." She 
laughed with delight and speed down the darkened street.

_ _ _ _ _ _

What Happened After Alyssa Left 
_ _ _ _ _ _

"Wow..." Jay was the first to speak "I didn't know Jedi's could be 
gay."

Silent Bob slapped a hand over his eyes. Dante's shoulders shook with 
silent laughter.

Randal barely took notice. He also did not notice how close he was 
standing to Dante or that he still had his hand on Dante's arm. All 
Randal did notice was how frightened Alyssa's story had made him. He 
noticed how his heart had stopped for a second when Alyssa had said 
the words "puts a hole in their chest." Randal didn't believe in 
much, but Randal believed he had just had a horrible sense of
d�j� 
vu. A frighteningly real d�j� vu, where he could see in his
mind a 
grainy black and white film playing out Dante's demise. Randal was 
scared, more terrified at that moment than any other moment of his 
life.

Jay's voice broke through to him for a moment. "Come on Silent Bob, 
let's go." The stoners left the store. Dante watched them go with a 
shake of his head. 

"Man, what a perspective," Dante said more to himself than anybody. 
Then Dante became aware of Randal, Randal's proximity and the cold 
hand on his forearm. Turning and looking at his friend, Dante finally 
noticed how pale the young man was.

"Hey... Are you okay?" Dante asked, concerned.

"I, I..." Randal started but couldn't find his voice. 

Dante smiled softly at him. "Not going to happen," Dante whispered in 
as he pulled him into an embrace. Randal placed his head on Dante's 
shoulder, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. 
Dante held him tightly, took the hat from his head and tossed it to 
the counter. Placing a hand on the nape of his neck, he started 
stoking Randal's hair.

"But I see it..." Randal whispered from Dante's shoulder, his eyes 
tightly shut.

"I know, I know. It might have happened once, but not any more. 
You've told me about the dream, and I'm always careful late at night, 
and we always walk out together, right?"

"Right..."

"So, it's covered." Dante concluded as he rested his head against 
Randal's. He felt very close to Randal. He knew that Alyssa's story 
had changed something, maybe for the better. Randal's heart was 
beating quickly against his chest, and Dante wondered how else the 
story had affected his friend.

"I just get so scared that I'm gonna come in here and find you, find 
you..." Randal stuttered.

"I know, I know. That's why you spend so much time in here. I know, 
Randal." Dante said gently.

"But do you know that I, that I..." Randal's voice was muffled as he 
pressed his mouth against Dante's neck. Dante's eyes closed for a 
moment as he relished the feeling of the soft mouth on his neck. 
Randal was kissing him, and Dante was not even slightly surprised at 
the fact. Alyssa was right, he knew. He had always known. 

Dante's eyes glided open as he looked into Randal's blue eyes. Randal 
looked searchingly at Dante. Dante smiled back at Randal. "I knew 
that too," he said softly.

"What?" Randal asked quietly, wanting the verbal confirmation. It had 
been assumed far too long.

"That you love me, and that I love you too." Dante replied shyly.

Randal's face broke into a smile. "Oh yeah? So, does this mean we can 
go home early and make out on your couch?"

"Yes." Dante answered firmly. "It does." With that he leaned forward 
and kissed Randal, their first kiss. It felt like something out of 
the movies, perfection. Randal's mouth pressed sweetly into him, 
opening when Dante's tongue pressed along his lips. Randal held Dante 
tightly as the other man, slowly explored his mouth. He moaned as 
Dante grabbed him by the ass and hauled him closer. 

"Lumph umph oor" Randal moaned. Dante broke off the kiss, and looked 
into Randal's eyes. 

"What?" he asked impatiently as he felt Randal's erection rub against 
him.

"Door," Randal panted. "Lock the door, we're not gonna make it home."

Dante looked at his friend for a moment as if he were insane. Randal 
gave another low moan and thrust against Dante's leg. Finally 
processing all the available information, Dante quickly agreed. 
Leaving Randal leaning against the counter, Dante went to the front 
door, threw the lock and switched the light off.

The inside of the Quick Stop was erriely lit by the shallow light 
thrown off by the multiple displays. It made for an odd sort of 
lighting, not pitch black, not really dim, but rather a murky sort of 
illumination that allowed Dante to sense most his envirmonet but 
still tricked him. Quickly picking his way back to the counter in the 
odd darkness Dante only bumped into two displays and tripped over the 
rug once.

Coming around the counter he sensed Randal's arms extended out to 
him. "C'mere, c'mere," Randal whispered. Randal grabbed him and did a 
fairly decent job of counting his fillings. Dante pulled his friend 
tightly to him, legs entwining. Randal gave another thrust against 
Dante's hip. Dante felt his own cock rubbing tightly in his jeans. He 
wanted to thrust and thrust against Randal until he collapsed, but 
couldn't get enough balance or a good enough grip.

"Floor," he breathed heavily. Randal misunderstood, or chose his own 
definition, and slid to his knees and began opening Dante's jeans.

"Wait, I meant - oh!" Dante's voice came out a low hiss as Randal's 
tongue swirled over the head of his cock. He leaned back against the 
counter and tried not to come immediately. Randal's mouth was 
suddenly on him, hot wet suction. One hand was stoking him in time 
with Randal's bobbing head, the other hand stroking his balls.

It didn't take nearly long enough. Dante had time to mutter "Oh, 
fuck!" and was shooting into Randal's mouth. Randal continued to suck 
on Dante, swallowing as Dante convulsed around him.

Completely spent, Dante slunk down to the floor. "Jesus, where the 
fuck did you learn to do that?" Dante asked, slightly dazed.

"And you say porn has no merit..." Randal taunted back. Dante laughed 
aloud.

"Never will I doubt you again." Dante grinned in the darkness. 

"You better not," came the surprisingly close reply as Randal's frame 
slid on top of Dante's. Randal was sucking on Dante's neck again, and 
Dante was making low noises in his throat. Randal's nips and kisses 
were exciting Dante. He wanted more, he wanted Randal to do 
something, anything...

"Please, please..." Dante breathed.

"Please what?" Randal replied.

"Do something to me already!"

"Jesus, aren't we the demanding one! I just sucked you off, you can't 
possibly be hard again already," Randal teased.

"Fuck me." Dante decided to go for blunt. Randal didn't 
reply. "Please?" Dante asked quietly.

"Really?" Randal asked neutrally.

"Yes, really!"

"We need some lube..." Randal mused aloud. 

Dante struggled up into a sitting position, displacing Randal for a 
moment. Blindly sticking his hand out he felt through the articles 
behind the counter. 

"And I really should be able to see what I'm doing, because I've 
never done this before," Randal continued until a bottle was placed 
in his hand.

"What's this?"

"Baby oil." Dante replied.

"No shit?"

"No shit."

A moment passed, and neither of the men spoke. Randal finally 
said, "Naked. You need to get naked." And started to strip off 
Dante's shirt. Dante shivered at the tone of Randal's voice. Randal 
stripped him, divesting him of his pants and shoes, even his socks 
until, indeed Dante was completely naked.

A moment passed an all Dante heard was the whisper of cloth and he 
realized Randal was removing his clothes also. Then Randal's body was 
pressing his own to the floor. "Oh God, oh God," Dante was moaning as 
Randal kissed his way up Dante's torso. Randal's mouth covered his 
and Dante could still taste himself on Randal. He shivered hard.

Randal spent a few moments kissing Dante and caressing him, and was 
surprised when Dante's cock twitched. "You sly old dog, you holding 
out on me?" Randal gently laughed into Dante's ear as his hand snaked 
back down between their bodies and gave Dante's cock a few strokes. 
Dante gasped. 

"Want you, want you..." was all Dante could get out. Randal kissed 
him again, and shifted off of him. Randal kneeled in front of Dante 
as he stroked Dante's thighs, picking them up and rested them on his 
own. Flipping open the baby oil he poured some into his hand. Warming 
it for a moment, he spoke softly to Dante, "If it hurts, we stop. Do 
you understand me?"

"Yes, yes, please..." Dante pleaded.

Randal smiled in response, even though Dante couldn't see him. Taking 
an oil drenched finger he gently placed it on the tight opening. 
Dante's breathing immediately picked up. Rubbing the oil into Dante, 
Randal discovered his friend had a whole palette of non-verbal 
responses.

Working the first finger into Dante had been the hardest, he was very 
tight. Virgins, Randal mused, nearly laughing at himself for thinking 
it. As if *he* had experience. Judging by Dante's moans and shudders 
he was doing okay. The second finger went in a little easier. By the 
third Dante was swearing at him.

"Fuck me already!" Dante ordered Randal. His cock was twitching, 
trying to get back into the game.

"Ask nicely," Randal teased as he altered his position. 

"Fucking please!" Dante hissed and then gave a low moan as Randal's 
cock pressed against him. It was slow going, but eventually the 
tightness gave away and Randal slid in. Dante gave a strangled yell 
at the invasion.

"Don't move," Dante whispered as his body adjusted to the length of 
Randal's cock. 

Randal labored not to move, he could feel sweat breaking out on his 
back. He didn't want to hurt Dante, but this was too much...

"Okay," Dante breathed after a moment. 

Randal gratefully moved his hips slightly. Dante moaned. Randal 
stopped, and asked aloud, "Was that a 'Please fuck me, Randal' moan 
or a 'Get it out of me' moan?" 

Dante laughed breathily, "The first..." he replied. 

"Thank God." Randal replied and shifted his hips and pushed again. 
Dante gave a whispered gasp. This time Randal didn't stop, but did 
inquire, "Good?"

"Fuck yeah," Came Dante's whispered reply.

Randal's hips started a slow even motion as his cock sunk in and out 
of Dante's ass. He paid carefully attention to all the noises Dante 
was making and concentrated on making him repeat certain sounds. 
Dante moans built in volume as Randal's thrusts began to come 
quicker. 

Randal was trying to not concentrate on how amazing it all felt. He 
had no idea that anything could feel that good, that anyone could be 
that tight. That and all the wonderful sounds that Dante was making 
under him. The boy was very verbal...

"Harder, harder..." Dante's voice called to him. Randal complied, and 
shifted slightly. Suddenly Dante's voice was a non-stop babble. 
Figuring that he had hit the fabled 'prostrate' Randal's speed 
increased. He sensed Dante's hands sliding over his own erection and 
the wonderful, filthy dialog that Dante had started sprouting was 
beginning to undo him.

Dante was sputtering and nearly incoherent by this point. Randal felt 
the twitch at the pit of his stomach, the tell tale sign that he was 
almost there. Leaning almost complete over Dante at this point, as he 
had been drilling him into the floor, he panted to him "Gonna 
come...in you... okay?"

Dante cried out, "Yes!" and Randal's orgasm ripped through him. 
Dante's hands succeeded in bring himself off and as Randal felt his 
cock spurting inside of Dante, he felt Dante's seed strike his chest. 
He collapsed on top of Dante, fluids sliding between them. He could 
feel Dante's hand stroking his hair and heard the whispered words 
through his chest. 

"Love you...love you..."

"I love you too, but next time we do it at your place. I think I 
threw out my back." Randal returned with a groan.

Dante snorted, "Deal."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Jay & Silent Bob
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

"Fucking Fingercuffs." Jay shook his head as Silent Bob followed him 
into the night. Leaning against the video store Bob lit up a smoke. 
Jay stood next to him, leaned over and took a puff off of Bob's 
cigarette. Leaning his head back he exhaled, watching the night sky 
through the dissipating smoke.

"She's right though... It *is* all too fleeting." Jay continued. He 
looked up into the night sky for a few moments longer. Making up his 
mind, he looked at Silent Bob. Bob's profile revealed nothing. Jay 
moved to directly in front of Bob. Silent Bob looked at Jay 
questioningly.

"Oh, shut up and kiss me already," Jay mumbled and kissed Silent Bob. 
Bob's eyes widened as Jay's lips touched his. He looked at the young 
man kissing him. Jay's eyes were tightly shut and he had strangely 
peaceful expression on his face. The soft lips pressed against Bob's 
own firmly. Bob blinked, recovering. His eyes finally slowly closed 
as he began to return the kiss. 

Jay sighed softly as Bob's lips moved against his own. Encouraged he 
gave a tentative lick. Bob's mouth parted slightly. Jay's tongue 
danced along the opening again as his mind raced 'Oh God, oh God, 
please, please, please...' Then Bob's jaw shifted a bit more and 
Jay's tongue was stroking inside of that hot wet space. 

Hands rested lightly on Jay's hips and Jay snaked his own up and 
around Bob's neck lightly. Bob's tongue was methodically and 
deliberately cataloging Jay's mouth. He was taking this task slowly 
and seriously in such manner that Jay found himself growing light-
headed from lack of oxygen.

Jay was trying to be cool; it was no big deal... Bob was kissing him; 
no big deal. Then he involuntarily gave a low moan as Bob's tongue 
gave a small thrust, and was pulled closer. Oh fuck, it was a big 
deal, Jay thought dizzily.

Bob broke off the kiss. His eyes snapped open to the sight of Jay, 
eyes still closed and panting slightly. Jay's eyes fluttered open 
after a moment and refocused on Bob pensively. Jay's gaze dropped and 
his hands slid from Bob's neck. "Sorry, I just wanted to let you 
know..." Jay's voice was soft as he tugged away from Bob.

Bob caught the front of his jacket and pulled Jay sharply, walking 
away from the video store to a less well lit area of the street.

"Jesus, Bob! Take it easy! It was just a kiss! You don't have to kick 
my ass!" Jay panicked.

As they stepped into a darkened area Bob spun around and yanked Jay 
close. "Oh fuck!" Jay yelped, closing his eyes and waiting for the 
impact of Bob's fist. Instead he was surprised by Bob's lips 
connecting with his again. Jay was confused for a split second, and 
then disregarded all other thought as he pressed into Bob.

The two were locked in a tight embrace, mouths sliding over each 
other for a long moment. Jay kept pulling Bob closer, trying to get 
closer. Bob broke off the kiss with a chuckle.

"Damn I want to just swallow you whole," Jay whispered into Silent 
Bob's ear, "Wanna lick you, suck you, bite you..." Jay's voice 
trailed off as he gave a low moan as Bob's hands cupped his ass and 
hauled him closer. He buried his face in Bob's neck and planted 
frenzied kisses there.

Bob held on tightly to Jay, scarcely believing what was happening. 
Finally. 

"Please, please, please, wanna go home." Jay was mumbling in between 
kisses. "Wanna fuck, now." He knew he was barely making sense, but 
that was okay, he knew Bob understood him. 

Bob held on tightly to Jay for another long minute, enjoying the 
panting and squirming. He had imagined this moment a thousand times, 
but nothing was living up to having Jay trying to crawl into his 
skin. 

"Home, home, home..." Jay was chanting as he began to slide down the 
front of Bob's torso. Bob grabbed him and yanked him upward.

"Repeat after me," Bob spoke softly into his ear. "I will not blow 
Bob in front of the video store and get us arrested." Jay moaned as 
Bob then nipped the ear to have received the instruction. 

Jay's breath was a shuddering whisper. "Won't... Bob... But please, 
please..."

Bob smiled and tugged Jay along toward the bus stop. It was slow 
going seeing as every few steps they would pause and start kissing 
again. Jay was rubbing against Bob, his mouth trying to devour him. 
As they paused in front of RST Video Jay pushed against Bob hard. Bob 
stumbled backward pulling Jay with him, relying on the wall to catch 
them.

When Bob and Jay fell through the wall, it was then that Bob realized 
he had miscalculated. The door had been behind him, not the wall. 
Looking up at Jay from the floor of the video store, Bob wondered how 
Randal had forgotten to lock up. He also wondered if the clerk was 
still in Quick Stop. 

Jay on the other hand, was looking upwards and gave praise to the 
Almighty. "Thank you!" Then he lunged at Bob. 

Bob's last thought was to kick the door closed. Then he stopped 
thinking all together as Jay's mouth covered his. He felt one of 
Jay's hands tugging up his sweatshirt and a moment later fingers 
found a nipple and began to toy with the hardened nub. The other hand 
was at his zipper, opening, uncovering, and tugging clothes. Jay's 
mouth left his lips only to make a comeback at his chest as the soft 
lips sucked on a nipple. Bob gave a low moan and then a sharp gasp as 
Jay's other hand finally worked through the layers of clothing and 
took his hard cock in hand.

Jay stroked Bob as he planted kisses across Bob's chest. Bob felt 
dizzy at the sensations rushing through him. Jay's hand was moving at 
a slow-pace, making concentration difficult. Bob forced himself to 
try to get Jay's attention.

"Jay, uh, Jay... oh God... wait, wait..."

If anything this seemed to make Jay's hand move slower, as the 
blond's fist teased him. 

"Oh... fuck... Jay... Jay... you little..." Bob's hips began to 
thrust into Jay's hand as it began to finally pick up pace. 

"Say my name again..." Jay was whispering in his ear.

"Jay, oh God... Jay, please..." Bob moaned.

"God, I love your voice," Jay's whisper returned. "But you never 
fuckin' talk... But it looks like I found a way of making you 
talk..." Jay mouth was on his neck sucking and gently biting. "Now 
talk for me bitch..."

And Bob talked, or more appropriately moaned, cursed and begged for 
Jay. Jay continued to stroke Bob and finally slid down Bob and took 
him in his mouth. No teasing licks, no gentle sucking, but full out 
engulfed him in a smooth movement. Bob never had a chance, the 
sensory input of Jay's mouth connecting with that portion of his 
anatomy too much for his already over excited state. 

"Jay!" he cried as he came. Jay continued to suck him, swallowing his 
release. Bob shuddered for a few long moments as his body rocked with 
the sensations of orgasm. Jay's hands were lightly caressing any 
available patch of skin they could find. Bob's own hands were caught 
in the long blond hair that was snaked out over his hips and thighs. 
Smoothing the hair away from Jay's face he looked down at the other 
man. 

"My turn," Bob told Jay softly as he pulled him upward. He caught 
Jay's mouth and kissed him soundly as he worked his hands into the 
baggy pants. Jay shuddered at the contact and moaned as Bob's hands 
located his already painfully hard cock and began to stroke.

"Wait, wait..." Jay breathed heavily. He brushed Bob's hand away, 
pushed his jeans down more and snugged his cock into Bob's bare hip. 
Rocking into Bob, he mumbled "I wanna like this," and covered Bob's 
lips with his own. Jay was moaning into Bob's mouth, his hands 
tightly clutching at Bob's shoulders. Breaking away for air he 
panted. "Oh God, oh God, yeah..." His hips sped up and Bob slid his 
hands down Jay's back, coming in contact with warm, bare flesh. Bob 
fingers cupped the gentle curve of Jay's ass as he pulled him closer.

Jay's thrusts came faster still, his voice now a constant stream of 
non-sensical dialogue. Bob splayed his fingers, and used one to apply 
pressure in a certain spot... Jay's voice stopped as he gave a gasp 
and then a low moan as his orgasm spilled out of him. Panting into 
Bob's neck he returned to his earlier sentiment, "Oh God, oh God, oh 
God..."

Bob smiled in the darkness at being able to reduce Jay to as few as 
words as possible. His hands lazily stroked the soft skin of Jay's 
back, pushing the shirt out of the way. Jay just lay on top Bob, 
trying to catch his breath. 

"Goddamn Lunchbox... damn." Jay finally spoke up. Bob kissed the top 
of Jay's head, amused at the lack of description, which could only 
mean one thing. He had gotten Jay as close to speechless as possible 
for Jay. Not an easy feat, but something to be proud of. Jay yawned 
from his position on Bob's chest.

"Now if we can do that, along with a few other things, about four 
times a day I think I'd be a happy man."

Bob smiled at this and asked "Only four?"

"Hells yes! Any more than that and we'll be seriously cutting into 
our business hours, and how the hell am I gonna afford to keep your 
sweet ass in the lap of luxury if we don't sell any smoke?"

Bob's chest shook with silent laughter. Jay smiled into his 
chest. "But first were gonna take a vacation... Cause I think we're 
gonna have to fuck for about a week straight, and then maybe I'll be 
able to control myself around you. Damn, Bob, you're so fucking cute, 
and I'm so fucking hard all the time... Why the hell didn't we figure 
this out sooner?"

Bob shook his head. I don't know.

"Shit, I've probably loved you since I first met you. And we didn't 
do nothing about it till now... You know what that means?"

Bob didn't reply immediately, but instead was focusing on the 
words 'loved you'. Finally shaking the shock he asked, "Hmmm?"

"Plenty of make up sex..." Jay growled as he started kissing Bob's 
lips softly. Bob smiled under the kisses. He interrupted Jay with the 
words he knew were very important for Jay to hear.

"I love you, Jay." Bob told him softly. Jay stopped kissing him, 
taken by the seriousness of the conviction. In the near darkness he 
could barely see Bob, but could tell by the sincerity of his voice 
that Bob meant what he said.

"I know, I love you too... that's why we're rolling around like 
teenagers on the floor of a video store. If I didn't think it was 
love, I wouldn't be here."

Bob smiled at the rational and nodded his head.

"Now lets get the fuck outta here and go home... Dude, I got all 
these mental images dancing around in my head... Shit we gotta try... 
I got this one that involves you and the couch, and me in a red 
vest..." Jay's non-stop dialogue firmly reinstated itself as the two 
stoners got up off the floor. However the subject matter was now 
firmly fixed on Jay and Bob themselves, and the matter of how much, 
what kind and how frequently they were going to be having sex.

Silent Bob smiled as he listened to his lover, carefully taking notes 
in the back of head. Smiling, he thought to himself, there were worse 
things to be fixated on.

END