Title: Arachnophobia
Rating: PG-13, oddly enough.
Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob
Warning: This was written very late at night/early in the morning 
and it is unbeta'd. I have only seen Dogma and JSBSB. If Jay 
was obviously NOT an arachnophobe, I didn't know.
Archive: Definitely with permission.
Feedback: STRONGLY encouraged. manicsubsidal1983@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I don't own any spiders, 
I don't own Chuck Taylors -- wait, yeah I do, they're on my feet. 
But I don't own the company. I don't own anything mentioned in 
the story -- 'tis purely fiction.
Author's Note: I am an arachnophobe.


Silent Bob had been trying to sleep all night, but it was 
mid-December and the heat in he and Jay's apartment had 
stopped working. Apparently though, Bob soon realized, Jay's 
room was still warm enough for spiders.

"FUCK!" Silent Bob heard Jay's profane yelp even though his 
door was closed and his room was on the other side of the 
apartment. He heard quick footsteps next, then a knock on the 
door.

When Bob opened the door he saw Jay there, wearing nothing 
but a pair of smiley-face boxers and a very worried expression. 
Jay was rubbing his arms, which he often did as a nervous habit, 
only he did it twice as rapidly because of the chill in the air.

"I can't get rid of 'em, man, they're fucking everywhere," Jay said 
feebly. Bob rolled his eyes at his arachnophobic friend, picked 
up one of his Chuck Taylors and headed towards Jay's room.

"It's right there!" Jay pointed angrily at a corner of the room.
Silent Bob walked lethargically to the corner of the room, crushed 
the spider and pointed even more angrily at the clock. It was 2:30 
in the morning.

"I know it's late and shit, I just can't fucking sleep," Jay audibly 
responded to Bob's gestures. "Not in this room anyway."

The two walked out into the living room and Silent Bob pointed at 
the couch. He retracted his finger, however, when he noticed a 
sharp metal spring poking out of a cushion and gleaming in the 
moonlight. He shrugged and led Jay to his room. After 15 
minutes of pointing out the absolute lack of spiders in it, he 
finally got Jay to sit on the bed.

"Don't tell no one I fucking slept here, alright?" Jay said, his voice 
tinged with insecurity. Bob nodded and turned off the lights.

After Silent Bob threw the covers over Jay, he realized he still 
couldn't sleep. He could feel a soft heat emanating from Jay's 
body, seeming to draw him closer. If he could only touch him . . . 
He carefully laid a hand on Jay's back and Jay instinctively 
moved closer to the source of the touch. Bob ran his hand over 
Jay's smooth warm skin, still quite cautiously, until his arm was 
wrapped completely around Jay's torso. His nose filled with the 
scent of Jay's hair but he didn't care because the one he loved, 
whether or not he liked to admit it, was in his arms. Their two 
quite opposite bodies fit together like pieces in a puzzle though; 
they fell asleep fully connected with each other, smiling and 
warm.

They woke up at one that afternoon, still in the same position. 
Jay turned his head and smiled almost sweetly at Silent Bob 
before sitting up.

"Thanks for all this shit, man. Some other fucker would have 
called me a fag and a pussy, but you were cool." Jay smiled 
again at Bob, in that same confusingly attractive manner, before 
leaning over him and kissing him on the lips.

Before Jay could pull away, Bob grabbed him by the head and 
kept him close, running his fingers through that wavy hair. He 
almost forgot to breathe he was so happy. He knew he wouldn't 
be able to contiinue kissing Jay so ravenously without their 
actions having a more-than-mental effect so he pulled out of the 
kiss, got off of the bed and went towards the bathroom for a 
shower. Jay, looking very offended, followed him there.

"What the fuck is that all about? You get me all hot and bothered 
and then --" Bob quieted jay with a soft kiss on the lips and 
whispered softly into his ear, "Save it for tonight," before closing 
the bathroom door behind him.


FIN