Title: Blond Hair and Eyeliner Author: Kelandris the Mad Fandom: View Askewniverse, indeterminate era Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob Rating: NC-17 for sexual content, R for language Status: New Archive: Drop me a note and it's yours. And on that note... Feedback: kel@crazysheep.net Series/Sequels: Kinda sequels "Seeds of the Pomegranate". At least, some of the characters are the same. Disclaimer: Nobody makes money off this but the people who deserve to. Hopefully that's still mostly Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes and View Askew Productions. Notes: Had to write a fluff piece. This is fairly plotless, just an excuse to dress the boys up and take them dancing.Plus I have a nifty new desktop pic to play with--the incomparable GoblinBrodie's gothed- out Bob. :> Summary: Fluff. Fluffy fluffy fluff. Warnings: Heavy costume action. Jay getting spanked (incredibly briefly). Talkative Bob. Not heavy on the plot details. "Blond Hair and Eyeliner" by Kelandris A pair of black Doc Martens had been polished to a cold gleam. They slipped smoothly over his feet, clad in black knit socks that rose to the knees. He pulled on a white ruffled shirt, pinning an ornate silver and hematite brooch at the neck. A pair of black silk shorts printed with a subdued rose-and-cross motif followed, slipped up his legs, and then he turned, lifting the last piece, frowning slightly. Finally, Silent Bob sighed, brushing his hair over his shoulder as he lifted one leg, stepping into the garment. He pulled it up, adjusting the waistband, and then stepped over to the full-length *cheval* mirror by the far wall. Young man in makeup. Black eyeliner, full, dark lips in a shade of red-toned black, pale skin. Beard and narrow mustache trimmed closely to his face, brooch gleaming dully in reflected light. White ruffles of the shirt crisp and clean in the mirror's reverse, and below the waist, a kilt, traditional Black Watch tartan pattern, deep green stripes against blue and black. He turned, still vaguely frowning, and picked up the note on the bed again. "8pm. The Pom. Will thank you then. Avriel." Shrugging, he tucked a slim billfold into the waistband of the kilt, grabbed his leather trench, and left the room. He'd made it almost to the door when a familiar blond blocked his way. "You leavin'?" he asked. "Lookin' like that?" Bob nodded, staring at him warily. Jay looked him over, smirking, and then the smirk left. "Ya look good, Lunchbox. Not that you didn't fuckin' know that." Bob ducked his head, brushing his dark hair over his shoulder again. He nearly missed Jay's low chuckle. "Pity ya ain't leavin'." **What?** "Just yet," Jay said, stepping forward. He ran a hand down Bob's shirtfront, down to the waistband, sliding a finger underneath. Bob gasped when he worked his way through the shirt to stroke along his belly. "Mmm, maybe this has more potential than I thought..." He flexed his knees, reaching under the kilt to stroke the front of the silk boxers. "Ooh, slipp'ry, *like* that, baby..." And he knelt in front of Bob, lifting the hem of the kilt, tracing the growing bulge under the silk. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" **Please, yes...** Bob couldn't even nod. The fingers kept moving and he had to concentrate on standing upright, and not falling down in a boneless heap. "I'm thinkin' you take me with you tonight." Bob swallowed. He opened his mouth and Jay pulled the waist of the boxers down, running a fingertip along the throbbing vein underneath his twitching cock, making him gasp. "Take me... or you get to go alone. And you get to go *now*." He whimpered, and gasped again when Jay licked across the tip of his cock, one quick lap and gone again. "Clothes," he gasped, and Jay shrugged. "I'll come up with somethin'." He wrapped a hand around Bob's thickest point, near the base, and began to pump him slowly, just moving his bare hand over the sensitive flesh. "C'mon, c'mon, lemme go, Lunchbox. I'll make it worth your while. I'll even wear a fuckin' skirt if you want." "You have one?" Bob blurted out. Jay smiled crazily. "Baby, you ain't *never* gone through my closets, I have shit for *everything*..." And he leaned in, taking the tip of Bob's cock into his mouth, sucking on it like candy. Bob whimpered again, throwing his head back. His knees were definitely going to give out at this rate. "Mmm, yeah, Lunchbox, make some noise for me," Jay whispered, pulling off to kiss along his length. He kissed and licked and lapped all the way to the base, angling his head to lean in and suck his balls, listening to the cries that produced. "Haven't heard an answer yet, you silent shit." "Yes," Bob gasped. "You can--come. Just--don't stop, Jay, please don't stop!" "Love it when you say my name." Jay cackled, and slid as much as he could of Bob into his mouth, sucking him until Bob's knees wobbled. "No," he whimpered, "gotta, gotta, Jay, I can't--stand up--please, Jay, *please*--" Jay pulled his mouth off with a popping sound, and Bob shuddered. "C'mon, then," he whispered, and held out his arms. Bob knelt, and Jay nodded. "Ooh, better." He lay down on the carpet, throwing the kilt up to Bob's waist, and slid over until his head rested on Bob's ample thighs. Then he sucked Bob's cock into his mouth again, working over it, humming deep in his throat. **Smug bastard,** Bob thought, but closed his eyes, feeling Jay's wonderful mouth sucking on him, kissing along him, lapping at the tip. He shivered every time, and Jay just moaned, sucking on him hard. Muscles in Bob's abdomen twitched, muscles in his thighs jumped, and Jay laughed, the sound a gurgle of vibration played against sensitive skin. "Ohhh..." Bob gasped, twitching, inhaling sharply, his hips jerking. "Jay--oh, yeah... gonna--gonna--*come!*" he cried, and bucked forward sharply. His brown eyes rolled back in his head at the sounds of Jay swallowing. He swallowed for what felt like forever, and then licked at Bob as he slowly softened. It took a long time to get soft, and he was begging Jay to stop after a few minutes. Finally, Jay sat up, folding him back into his boxers, pulling the kilt down. He pouted attractively. "Don't wanna stain the silks, do we?" Bob rose unsteadily to his feet. "Room," he gasped. "Ooh, yeah, baby--your very own Dress-Up Jay!" He giggled as Bob swatted his ass, dancing ahead of him into his room. *** Later, at the Pomegranate. Bob had looked around a few times unsuccessfully for Avriel, but mostly, he'd been on the dance floor. He'd been dancing next to a gorgeous blond, eyes heavily lined in black, lips gleaming burgundy. He wore unrelieved black--Docs, black tights, black cut-off sweats, black silk shirt. A heavy silver cross hung around his neck, swinging as he moved. And for the most part, he'd been moving against Bob, grinding his hips against his, slipping down his body, one black-nailed hand wrapping around his thigh, moving upwards, grinning all the while. It was intoxicating. It was also exhausting. Bob stepped away from Jay, who grinned and kept dancing, his hair swinging behind him. Breathing hard, he made his way to the bar. Beer, cider, hell, *water*--he'd take anything at this point. He scanned the bar for options, and watched Avriel approach, sliding around the corner towards him. She was smiling. She ordered two glasses of pomegranate juice, handing one to him. Bob tipped his glass in welcome, seeing her under the glowing lights. She wore PVC, glimmering with blue and purple highlights under the neon. Sharp silver shoes, glittering silver jewels on her forehead and cheeks, her hair unbound and dotted with gems in blue and red and purple. She looked at him. She looked at Jay. The smile changed to a grin. "You're welcome," Avriel said softly. She kissed his cheek and walked away. Bob watched her go, smiling dazedly, then turned back to the dance floor. Yeah. *Very* cool. Quickly, he downed the juice, savoring the crisp taste, and got back to dancing. Couldn't leave his boy alone too long, could he? END ***** Kelandris the Mad spin me right round, baby