Title: Buzz
Author: HMC
Pairing: Jay/Bob
Rated: Jeez, I dunno. Prolly R just cuz of language.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did I would make them my little fuck-toys, 
though.
Notes: This is post Mallrats, pre-Clerks. I just noticed that the weird-ass
haircut 
Jay sports in Clerks must have come to be in the hours between the two flicks. 
Also, we'll assume that they're a couple already.
Summary: Experimental Jay, flabbergasted Bob.... then Jay/Bob kiss, but no sex.

Just a mention. Sorry.

~~~~~~~~~

Bob was eating corn flakes on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons 
when he heard Jay sleepily shuffle out of his room and into the bathroom. Bob 
sighed and adjusted himself into a more comfortable position on the couch. Jay 
could spend hours in the bathroom if left to his own devices. The boy spent a 
sinful amount of time on his hair. All the shampoo and conditioner he used was 
enough to make any girl do a double take. But Bob let him fuss over the golden 
coif as much as he wanted. 
Bob loved Jay's hair almost as much as the blond himself did. Long and 
golden, soft and shiny.... Bob loved to run his hands through it. Regrettably,
he 
always had to wait until they were behind closed doors to do it. Often, he'd
find 
himself staring at it at the most inappropriate times. Hell, take yesterday
for 
example. There they were, hanging thirty feet off the ground on a flimsy wire, 
having just escaped Team LaFours, and all Bob could think of was how nice Jay's 
hair smelled. Had the situation not been so ridiculous, it would have been
sexy. 
Hanging onto each other for dear life, breathing hard, Jay's chin buried in
Bob's 
shoulder, his golden hair splayed across Bob's chest. Then that peck on the 
cheek.... made him feel all warm and jiggly inside. 
Bob smiled at that. After yesterday Bob vowed that they would never go 
back to that fuckin' stupid mall. Plus, the fact that Jay hit LaFours in the
head 
with a steel bat was enough to get his ass thrown in jail for a good period of 
time, so they'd only have to be spotted by a security guard once and they'd be 
fucked. It looked like they'd have to return to the Quick Stop for the first
time 
in a few months. 
He heard the electric razor buzzing from the bathroom. At first, Bob
didn't 
think anything of it. But after a few minutes, it occurred to Bob that not
only 
did Jay have no facial hair to shave, but also even if he did, it wouldn't have 
required nearly as much shaving time as this....
Bob leapt up, spilling corn flakes all over the rug, and dashed to the 
bathroom, throwing the door open with a crash, and causing Jay to jump.
"FUCK! What is the matter with you?! My fuckin' heart is in my throat
you 
spaz son of a bitch!!" Jay took a deep breath, lowering his hands from his
chest. 
"Jesus, Tubby."
Bob could only stare. Jay had cut his hair. Not all of it, but the
sections of 
hair that would be his bangs were no longer the same length as the rest. They 
now ended somewhere around his jaw. Forsaken chunks of hair lay in the sink. 
He could only stare at the golden hair in the sink with a horrified look on his
face. 
Why in God's name....
Jay looked up, having caught his breath, and saw Bob's stricken
expression. 
"Relax, man. I wasn't gonna cut all of it. Just the bangs, plus, look at
this." 
He pulled his hair back to reveal what was obviously the second phase in his 
grand plan to give Bob a massive heart attack.
He'd shaved the sides of his head. Large, rectangle-shaped portions of
hair 
had been completely sheared away to leave buzz-cut length hairs. While Bob was 
certain a blood vessel in his brain had popped, Jay was casually pulling his 
butchered hair back into a ponytail.
"Jay.... Why did you do that?" Was all Bob could force out. 
Now it was Jay's turn to look unsure. "I.... I just thought it would,
y'know, be 
a good look for me. Might make me look tougher. Do you.... Do you like it?" 
He 
looked at that moment, like a very self-conscious ball of nerves looking for 
support of a very brave move.
It occurred to Bob that he was being a bit insensitive. Whatever drove
Jay 
to do this must have been serious. So Bob smirked, raised his eyebrows to the 
ceiling, and reached out to run his fingers along the buzz-cut section of Jay's 
head. The tough, scratchy feeling was odd.... and different, but not bad. It 
contrasted nicely with the silky lengths of hair that bordered it. And the new 
shortened bangs were an odd touch, but it wasn't ugly. If anything, it framed
his 
face well. Hell, it wasn't so bad once Bob thought about it. At least he
hadn't 
cut it all the way around.
Or, God forbid, shaved it all off. 
That would have sucked. Hard.
"It's nice." Bob murmured, smiling slightly.
"Nice?" Jay asked, incredulous.
Bob sighed good-naturedly and rolled his eyes. "Nice, in a bad-ass sort
of 
way."
Jay winked. "That's what I thought, bitch! Nung!" Quick as a flash, he 
grabbed Bob's head and planted a kiss right on his lips. Bob barely had time
to 
wrap his arms around Jay's waist before the freshly shaved blond broke the
kiss. 
"Now, come on. We gots some sellin' to do, boy." And he bounced out of the 
bathroom, snatching Bob's baseball cap off and placing it on his own head. 
"I'm 
gonna show off my new haircut with this thing, kay?"
"Little punk." Bob called after him, following.
"Ah, you're just jealous cuz someone's gotta bald spot already!" Jay
called 
back in a singsong voice as he danced through the living room.
Bob stopped at the door wearing a mock-hurt look. "Oh, that was a low
blow. 
Just for that, you ain't gettin' none tonight, bitch." He smirked at Jay's 
horrified expression as he donned another baseball cap and left the apartment. 
Jay chased Bob down the stairs, whining protest. "Hey man, I was
kidding! 
Shit! Naw, it can't go down like that! Lunchbox!! It's just a tiny little,
itty-bitty 
bald spot! Bob!!"
"No sex for you, my young padawan!"
"C'mon, you know I was just kidding!"



THE END