Title: Crazy in Spiked Heels
Author: Kelandris the Mad (kel@crazysheep.net)
Fandom: View Askewniverse
Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob
Rating: NC-17 for naughty male contact. Perversion, whips, chains, 
leather, and full-bore homosluttery. Also evil hurting Bob bits, and 
drugging Bob bits, and Jay being nasty bits...it's not full-on 
darkfic (after "Ten Minutes", nothing's going to be for a while), but 
it's *damned* close.
Status: New
Archive: The usual places. Not that anyone really wants this weird 
thing.
Series/Sequel: Will not be sequeled, too damn weird. 
Disclaimers: Kevin Smith owns all; I am merely a fan with an 
overactive imagination who gets nothing, nothing, nothing at all 
financial for these forays into slash.
Notes: Saw a repeat Red Dwarf episode, "Demons and Angels" on 
BBCAmerica, and I remembered someone commenting about why all the 
dark brooding tales lately. Having just finished another dark 
brooding nightmare, I thought, maybe we do all need a break. 
Friggin' hell. And then this morphed on me into serious badness, so 
I guess you're all warned, and stuck with another piece of dark 
broodiness.
Summary: Jay in fishnets and Bob in leather... What, you wanted that 
reversed?
Warnings: Jay with stilettos on his heels and stilettos in a side 
holster with an electrical holowhip makes for one scary nightmare. 
Unless you like that kind of thing.

"Crazy in Spiked Heels"
by Kelandris


It was dark. It was dark, and there were odd metallic booming noises 
echoing distantly down the corridors. Dim sources of red light shone 
from the walls, from the floor, from behind piles of shattered crates.

Silent Bob blinked, looking around. He was lying on the floor on a 
sheet of corrugated metal. It wasn't comfortable. Groaning, he 
rose, staggering to his feet. He rubbed at his lower back, looking 
down. Huh. He couldn't make out the characters printed on the 
surface. They didn't look like English. They didn't even look like 
Mandarin or Cyrillic; they were entirely... alien.

"Unghuh," he said thoughtfully, then did a mental double take. His 
hands rose to his face. Chin, cheeks, long hair... *Much* longer hair, 
actually, it seemed to go to his waist, nearly. Long strands of 
blended brown and silver together. Weird. Plus tusks.

**What??** He felt again. Yep, there they were. Long, curving, 
splintered tusks. He tugged at one experimentally, and it fell off 
in his hand. Ah. Tusk *caps*. He tugged at the other one, and it 
came free. He tossed them both aside and went in search of a 
mirror. Something weird was happening, and he and Jay were probably 
in the thick of it again.

Down a side corridor, he found someone's trashed room, and on one 
wall were shards of mirror still in their frame. He took an 
experimental step forward, and stopped, staring at the fragments of 
his reflection.

He did have long hair. It was rough, on the matted side, and 
stranded liberally with silver through the brown. His face was a 
little dirty, his beard unkempt, and also streaked with white. And 
his clothes... He wore a floor-length coat that had once been red, he 
guessed, with a huge stained fur ruff and collar. It had been some 
pale shade, he thought. Now it was yellow in spots, spattered with 
red in others, and it smelled like... meat. Raw meat.

He wrinkled his nose, shrugging out of it, dropping it on the trash-
littered floor, and then stopped dead for the second time. Beneath 
the coat was leather, black leather, *tight* black leather. Heavy 
boots festooned with shiny chrome buckles led to pants, also buckled 
tight, and a codpiece that was studded with chrome spikes. Above 
that, strips of buckled leather crossed his chest, forming an 
asymmetrical mesh of elongated black diamonds. He wore a collar in 
black, with a detail of chainmail mesh in the center. He wore 
studded gauntlets. And his fingernails were painted black.

**Great. Bondage Bob. What else can go wrong?**

*Tap*. *Tap*. *Tap*. Outside the door of the chamber, he heard 
someone moving. He stepped back into the corridor, following the 
source of sound. It took him to a chamber that was more open than 
the others, high struts and a constant rain of rust particles in one 
corner. There were large, dark olive metal boxes in the room, some 
small enough to hold a couch, some large enough to hold a house. He 
walked through them, to the other side of the chamber, where he saw a 
set of stairs descending from some level above.

And this time, when his jaw dropped open, he thought for sure he'd 
hear it clunk on the floor, making the darkened metal ring.

He saw the spiked heels first, at least six-inch stilettos with an 
arrangement of black leather and chrome buckles he sadly recognized. 
Fishnets were taut on the muscled calves, and as his eyes rose and 
the figure descended, he inhaled sharply. It was Jay.

It was Jay, but it was Jay wearing a tight leather bustier, trimmed 
in badly molting feathers. It was Jay wearing a black garter belt, 
which held the fishnet stockings tightly to his thighs. It was Jay 
wearing long, feathered black gloves and a chain running from his 
nose ring to his right ear and a tattered black boa wrapped around 
his neck. And all that long glorious hair dyed odd and disturbing 
colors, and gathered up and piled on top of his head, wound with a 
strip of badly dyed red leather. If that was red... leather...? Oh, 
yeah, and don't forget the maniacal sneer. Or the crazily tilting 
dark `H' between his brows. And the... Bob swallowed, suddenly nervous...
glowing blue whip.

"Well, well, well," Jay said, curling his lips into a wickedly 
leering grin. "Look what we have here." Jay's voice oozed oily 
satisfaction, contempt, threaded through with a lacing of pure, 
undiluted insanity. He batted his eyelashes, then twitched, all 
over, a muscle jerk followed by a sigh of pleasure. Bob didn't know 
which was more disturbing.

He shook his head, backing up.

"Oh, yes. A new toy. And what does the new toy scream like?" The 
whip flicked out, electricity discharging in the air, and caught him 
around one thigh. He yelped, jumping away. Mother*fuck*, but that 
stung!

"Ooh," Jay purred. "Come closer, toy, I want to hear you sing for 
me." And Jay vaulted over the railing, landing in a crouch on the 
floor. Bob, shivering, watched as he snapped the whip across the 
floor, the sound sizzling in the air.

"Here, pretty pretty," the man on the floor whispered, and then he 
giggled. Mania and fear combined in the jagged tone, and that was 
all it took for Bob to turn and run.

He pelted down dark corridors, dodging odd piles of nameless debris, 
and then skidded to a halt.

"Obviously, you've forgotten what the `H' stands for, toy. It stands 
for, you can run but you can never hide. It stands for you can never 
escape and never leave. It stands for you and me, forever and ever, 
and after. And now," he whispered, caressing the handle of the whip 
with his tongue, "I'm going to beat you severely. And afterwards, 
I'm going to have you. Now strip."

"I'm not sure how." Bob looked at his outfit, raising his hands.

"Oh, poor stupid toy, it failed the first lesson." And the whip 
cracked down again. Bob jumped away, glaring at Jay, who simply 
laughed, and cracked the whip again. And this time, when Bob jumped 
out of the way, he turned, and ran right into a large metal crate.

**BASH!**

Down Bob went, dizzy, world fading out to static, and Jay's maniacal 
low laughter. The dark was soothing, and quiet, save for the sound 
of... what was that? Something being dragged somewhere, scraping along 
the floor. And then grunting, all distant, nothing to do with him. 
And then the sound of buckles being undone, and chains clanking 
together, and locks being fastened... Hey!

He blinked, raising his head, and there was Jay in front of him, 
caressing the side of his face with the whip.

"Oh, good," he purred. "You're more awake. I was getting bored."

He stepped back, cracking the whip, and Bob whimpered.

"Uh, no, no whip," he said decisively. 

Jay's eyebrows went up. "Ooh yes, a toy for steel," he murmured. He 
holstered the whip and pulled out twin stilettos, turning them so 
they flashed in the light. It was about that time, cringing back 
against the cold steel wall, that Bob realized he was naked.

***Oh, *fuck*!**

"Uh... Jay..." He laughed experimentally, but it sounded thin and 
nervous. Well, he was thin and nervous. Okay, he thought, looking 
down, maybe not *thin*...

Jay stepped forward, tracing one of the blade's keen edges over Bob's 
chest, and Bob inhaled, freezing. Over and over, small circles and 
shallow sweeps of the blade, just exciting the edges of the nerves. 
The larger man gasped, straining against the chains that held him to 
the wall.

"Now, now, pretty, don't get impatient. We have the rest of time to 
play."

*That* sounded ominous. But the blade... moving, moving, now curling 
down to the belly, now curling up, tracing around the circle of his 
nipple, making him gasp and twitch. A sudden sharp sting made him 
shudder, blinking rapidly and turning shocked eyes towards the former 
blond.

"Ooh now, see what you did, toy. Tsk, tsk. Cut yourself, didn't 
you? Let me clean that for you..."

And he leaned forward, fastening his lips around the injured flesh, 
sucking on Bob's nipple, tonguing it to a hard little peak, suckling 
on the blood that slowly oozed from the shallow curving cut. It 
hurt, it hurt like *fuck*, but it also felt good... Maybe *too* good, 
Bob thought, and shivered again.

"Oh, poor toy," Jay murmured, pulling away. "Is it cold?" He 
reached up, unsnapping one of the shackles from Bob's wrist. As he 
did so, he pressed up against Bob, grinding against him in slow, 
luxurious rolls of his hips. Bob moaned helplessly, writhing in his 
bonds. Then Jay flipped him hard against the cold steel wall.

"Let's warm the toy up, then, shall we?"

And Bob heard the electric crackle of the whip.

**Not happening,** he thought frantically. **Not happening, just a 
dream, just a *bad* dream. Not real. Just a--**

"AHHH!" he screamed, as the first blow landed on his upper thighs.. 
The second traced white-hot fire across his lower back, and the third 
traced a new line of glowing pain over his skin. After that he lost 
track for a little, slumping against the wall, muscles jumping only 
to try to pull away from the blows. And the laughter... the laughter 
behind him, the near joy in Jay's crazy voice.

Suddenly the blows stopped. Panting and open-mouthed, he glanced 
back over his shoulder, and watched as Jay traced one of his own 
thighs with the steel blade. He slid it under one of the straps of 
the black thong he wore, slicing through it and tracing down, leaving 
a long, narrow red slash in its wake. Bob just shuddered, turning 
away.

**Can't get worse, can't get, can't get--MOTHER OF GOD!** 

He bit his lips, fighting moans back as he stiffened. Jay had knelt 
behind him, and pried open the cheeks of his ass, and was now 
tonguing him open, that little pointed tongue sliding into him past 
tight sphincter rings. Dear God... he couldn't stop trembling, and then 
Jay's hand curled around his thigh, spider-walking upward, until his 
fingers could curl around his cock, stroking it awake, stroking it 
hard.

"Yes, toy, hard," Jay moaned, lifting his head. "Hard for me, so 
hard for me... That's a *good* toy, yes..." He heard Jay rising behind 
him, and heard a rustling of cloth. Then suddenly, he felt the head 
of Jay's cock where his mouth had been, pushing into him. He arched, 
and the man behind him just laughed, grabbing his hips and pulling 
him back into place.

"No escape, toy, what did I tell you?" And he shoved his way inside, 
licking the back of Bob's neck while he screamed.

His back felt raw and tender, and his asshole stretched around the 
invader, sending jolts of fresh pain through his strained system. 
Dazedly, he heard something uncap behind him, and icy fluid poured 
onto his cock, and then onto Jay's. Jay rubbed it into his cock, 
making Bob moan and twitch again. That only warmed it slightly, 
though. Then, Jay fucked the fluid into him from behind. 

"What?" he whimpered. "What was that?"

"Curious toy... Something to help you play," Jay whispered, biting his 
ear.

"Ahhh..."

It felt surreal--his cock, his ass were so cold, and his back was so 
hot from the whipping. He shook his head, trying to clear it, and 
then a burst of intense pain pulled cries from him, again and again. 
It was like his lower body had been briefly dipped in acid, burning 
and razoring the nerves to shreds. Then it subsided, and Bob 
collapsed against Jay, panting in fear and pain.

"Wait, toy. Just wait," Jay said.

And then it began. White-hot, the pleasure that ripped through him, 
and every touch, every caress, every single breath that Jay exhaled 
along his spine was ecstasy. He fucked the wall mindlessly until Jay 
grabbed his cock, and then he fucked the circle of Jay's fingers, 
wishing it was Jay's mouth. Jay snapped off the shackles, turning 
him and bending him over a nearby crate, and began slamming into his 
ass, hard and brutal thrusts that Bob cried out for.

"Yes!" he screamed. "Yes, God yes, harder, harder Jay, harder, 
faster, *please*--"

And Jay complied, cooing into his ears. He thrust into him 
jackhammer-fast, reducing him to quivering, begging jelly, arching 
his ass and hips towards Jay so Jay could get deeper, could get in 
easier. He came, spraying come over the olivine crate, and when Jay 
pulled out, he cried.

"*Goood* toy," Jay murmured happily. He heard buckling, flesh 
sliding across leather, and twitched, moaning. Then Jay's hands were 
on his ass cheeks again, parting them, and he bucked against air, 
crying out for Jay to fuck him.

"With pleasure," Jay said, and thrust inside him again. Oh, *GOD*...
Jay must have put on some kind of sheath, or something; several rings 
of cold raised studs grazed his passage, making him squirm and cry 
out. Then Jay pulled him up, sliding something over his hard, 
twitching cock. He looked down, breathing hard.

Whatever it was was black, and had wires trailing from the base. He 
followed the wires to a small black box Jay held in his hands. The 
device was also studded on the inside, it felt like, and it buckled 
tightly around the base of his cock.

"Ready?" Jay asked. He thrust into Bob rapidly again, pistoning up 
into him, until Bob screamed he was.

"Good. Willing toy." And Jay turned on the device.

Small electrical charges built in the studs, zapping the flesh at 
irregular intervals, making him jump. Then he heard a buzzing, and 
the entire thing began to pulse with vibrations, wringing screams of 
bliss from him as he blindly fucked the air. He came again, 
surprising himself, the muscles in his thighs twitching spasmodically.

"Mmm, yes, *good* toy, like that..." And he bent him over again, 
fucking him harder than before, faster, and Bob howled. All too 
soon, Jay shuddered behind him, shuddering into him, gasping, 
moaning, collapsing onto his tender back. Even that felt good, he 
thought, breathing hard, still twitching in time to the vibration 
through his cock.

"Mmm." Jay pulled out, earning another gasp from Bob, and stepped 
back. "My. I got all carried away. Guess I'll have to make you pay 
for that." He pulled Bob up by his hair, ripping the vibrating unit 
off of him with a snap and a toss, then turned him again, throwing 
him against the wall. His back his the cold metal and his eyes 
rolled up in his head, causing him to spurt helplessly for the third 
time.

And Jay laughed again, raising the whip.

"NOO!" Bob screamed, throwing his hands over his eyes, and everything 
went dark.

He blinked, looking around. No, it wasn't dark. Too many 
streetlights around their apartment to make it dark at night. He 
shook his head, trying to shake the scarily vivid dream from him. He 
looked across the bed, where Jay lay curled on his side, turned away 
from him.

"Ungh," Jay whimpered. "No, no, Martha, no... 'm sorry, `m sorry, don' 
make me make marshmallows from scratch..."

Sometimes, Bob reflected, people had dreams that made his seem 
normal. He pulled Jay towards him, nestling the blond in his arms, 
stroking his hair back from his face.

"Shhh," he murmured. "It's okay. You're safe."

Tenderly, he looked down at Jay, who curled against him, wrapping a 
leg that seemed to have too many joints around his hip.

"Love you," he whispered. **Plus you don't have an `H' on your 
forehead.**

He shuddered for a moment, breathing, and turned his mind 
deliberately away from recall. He listened as Jay's breathing 
returned to normal, and soon, he was sleeping peacefully himself.

END
*****
Kelandris the Mad
lifelike and poseable, hopeless and disposable