Title: Crossword Puzzle Author: Jade Feedback:jade27_al@yahoo.com Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob Rating: A big fat NC-17! Woo! Status: New Archive: Yes Disclaimer: I own nothing, Kevin Smith is the creative mastermind behind Jay and Bob. All hail Kev. Bow before his sleeveless sweatshirted glory. Notes: Well.. I thought this up at work. I spend my breaks doing crossword puzzles for lack of *anything* else to do.. that wouldn't get me fired. An inventive way for Jay to get some.. for Jay anyway. ------------------------------------------------------- Silent Bob shuffled out of the kitchen and into the living room, nearly dropping his beer and sandwich upon seeing what he saw. Something he never ever ever thought he would ever see.. ever. He expected to see a purple cow named Shaniqua jump over the moon before he expected to see this. Jay. Was sitting on the couch. Doing a crossword puzzle. Does. Not. Compute. "Oh hey Tubby. Hey, wanna help me with this? Five letters. Last letter is a W. 'Blank driver.'" Jay looked up at Bob. "What?" Bob blinked and shook his head a few times. "Uhm.. Screw." "Oh yeah.. thanks Lunchbox." Jay yawned and returned to the little book. Bob continued staring at him for a few minutes, watching his lips move slightly as he read. Slowly, he sat down on his end of the couch, set the beer on the coffee table, and started in on his sandwich. He was only two bites in when Jay asked for help again. "Two letters. Another word for I or Myself." "Me." "Oh right. Good job Lunchbox." Bob just blinked again. Why was jay being so nice? What was he up to? He had to be up to something didn't he? I mean, this is Jay! Jay doesn't say 'Thanks' and 'Nice job' unless he's up to something.. right? Or.. "Hey Bob.." Pulling himself from his thoughts and the end of his sandwich, Bob looked up at Jay. "Four letters. Means not soft." "... Hard." Jay cackled. "Alright!" he tossed the crossword puzzle aside and tackled Bob. Bob yelped, trying to figure out what was happening, besides the fact that Jay was rapidly undressing him. Then it hit him. Screw. Me. Hard. Bob groaned and rolled his eyes at the cheesiness, but he didn't have much time to reflect, as Jay's long, nimble fingers had already managed to get them both into a semi-state of undress. "Damn man.. I know this was my fuckin' idea, but shit! Help a brother out!" Jay growled in frustration at Bob's jeans. Bob raised his hips, allowing Jay to push the cursed article of clothing down and off, quickly removing his own jeans and boxers as well. "Now that's what's I'm talkin' about." Jay grinned, stroking Bob rapidly hardening length. Bob groaned slightly and moved up into Jay's grasp. Jay just smirked one of the most self-satisfied smirks Bob had ever seen, and reached down the crack of the couch, revealing a tube of astroglide. "Bitch, I played you like a fuckin' violin and shit." He flipped the cap opened and squeezed out more than enough of the cool, slick liquid. Jay quickly lubed his fingers, then slipped his hand between Bob's thighs and carefully worked one finger past the tight muscles. Bob gasped, followed by a soft groan as he pushed against the invading digit. "Mmm.. yeah. That's the shit." Jay purred and kissed Bob, battling those soft, sweet lips opened with minimal effort. Ham, cheese, beer, pot, and a taste that could only be described as *Bob* exploded on Jay's tongue as it plunged into the hot, wet orifice. He slowly pressed another finger in, devouring the whimpers and moans from the man below him. Another few minutes of stretching Bob, and Jay finally decided that if there wasn't some action soon, both Bob and his dick would hate him for the remainder of the day. In one nice fluid motion, Jay pulled his fingers out, lubed his cock, lifted Bob's legs and he pushed into him. Bob yelped at the sudden switch and tightened his legs around Jay's waist. "Yeah, you ain't so silent now are you." Jay grinned and slammed his hips into Bob, gaining another pleasured, pain-tinted cry. Jay leaned down and locked back onto Bob's lips as he drove into him. Bob groaned into the blonde's mouth and began thrusting up against Jay's stomach. "Mm.. yeah Bob.. fuck your tight.. oh fuck tubby.. fuck.. Bob.. oh fuuuuuuck..." Jay whimpered against Bob's lips, burying his hands in that long, dark brown hair, pounding relentlessly into Bob. Bob gripped Jay tight, one arm around his neck, the other around his torso. The long blonde hair was tickling his already hyper-sensitive skin. And then feeling Jay's soft belly against his cock, and feeling Jay *inside* of him. It was all just too much "*JAY*" Bob screamed and ground his hips hard up against Jay, every muscle in his body seizing as he came. His warm, sticky come spilling between their bodies. Jay fisted his hands in Bob's hair and cried out a second later as he came with one finally slam into Bob, the collapsed on top of his already panting partner, both of them shuddering as Jay pulled out. "H.. how's that f.. for a puzzle?" Jay panted and chuckled. "That.. made no sense." Bob laughed slightly. "Fuck you too." Jay yawned and rested his head in the crook of Bob's neck. Bob yawned as well, his last thought before drifting to sleep was something about needing to get the couch scotch guarded.