(Notes and disclaimer in part 1)

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Jason lay on the couch, covered in sweat and fluids from...himself. He
brushed a strand of his long blonde hair out of his eyes. Something
had just happened, but he didn't know what it was or whether it had
actually taken place.
The door creaked open, and Kevin's bulky form came into the
room. "Hey, have you been on the couch all day?"
Jason nodded. "I been waiting for you. Come here." He raised himself
up on his elbows and received a soft kiss from Kevin.
Kevin drew back and took off his coat, tossing it onto the kitchen
table. "God, what a day. Jen almost beat up Matt."
"Why?" Jason held back a giggle, trying to imagine Matt Damon and
Jennifer Lopez in a fight.
"Oh, she thinks Ben's cheating on her with him. Not that she's not
right, but I was hoping she wouldn't find out until after the
movie's done." Kevin plopped himself down on the couch. "And Michael
Moore called me and asked if I wanted to collaborate on a
documentary about drug use in America with him."
"Why does Michael Moore want to do a documentary with you?"
"Apparently he thinks we look alike." Kevin shrugged.
Jason studied his lover's features. "You do, sort of. You've got the
beard thing going on and all."
"Maybe, but that's not a good reason to do a documentary together."
Kevin tilted his head back and closed his eyes.
Jason snuggled up to him, feeling incredibly happy. Kevin was his.
Nobody else's. No wife, no kids...Why would he think that Kevin had a
wife and kids?
It had always been like this. Just Jason and Kevin, living in an
apartment, making their movies and hanging out at the mall and
smoking pot...just a little, because they didn't really need it. They
had a perfect life together. They always would.

Kevin paced up and down the aisles of the Quick Stop, occasionally
glaring at the frizzy-haired girl that sat frightened behind the
counter. "Why did you give it to him? What were you thinking?"
"I didn't know it would affect him like that!" Rachel protested.
"He's in a coma now! He's in intensive care! It was a good thing I
found him when I did or else he would be dead! My daughter is asking
when her Uncle Jason is going to wake up!" Kevin shook his head at
the sheer idiot malevolence of the universe and of convenience store
clerks. "He was in rehab, for Christ's sake. Didn't you know that?"
"It wasn't even a drug! Listen, he was going on about how I was a
robot and I wanted to calm him down, so I told him it was an
antihallucinogenic! I thought it would work like a placebo."
"Then what was it?" Kevin demanded.
Rachel dug a roll of candy out of her pocket. "These. We just got
them in today." She showed the roll to Kevin.
Kevin took it and looked at the label, big blue block letters on a
background of green and purple stripes. "Blue Mints, a new taste
sensation from Ubik Incorporated," he read. He turned the roll and
read, "Safe when used as directed."
"I wasn't exactly sure what that meant," Rachel explained. "There
weren't any directions on the label, so I thought it was just one of
those little advertising things. Like with that English candy bar
that says it's not for girls."
Kevin pried a mint out of the wrapper and popped it into his mouth.
It tasted like blue raspberry and mint. "These are gross," he said,
handing the package back to her.
"Well, if you don't like `em don't eat `em," Rachel said, sticking
the pack in her pocket. "Is Jason going to be okay?"
"We don't know," Kevin said. "The doctor said that there's no
physiological reason for him to be in the coma. Apparently his
brain's working fine."
"It's probably a withdrawal from reality," Rachel suggested. "It
happens in a lot of addicts. They can't handle life sans drugs, so
they just make up their own little world and stay in it. It happened
to my brother Daniel."
"I'm sorry," Kevin said automatically.
"Don't be. He was only out for an hour, and he deserved it, the
little jackass."
Kevin cast for words. "Um...so at least we know that it's not your
fault, then. I'm sorry I yelled at you like that."
"Yeah." Rachel shrugged. "By the way, did Jason ever tell you what I
said about `Dogma'?"
Kevin blinked. "Um, no. Why would he?"
"Because I told him to. Not that it matters now. I guess you'll find
out eventually."
"I will?"
"Yup." Rachel fingered the roll of mints in her pocket and smiled to
herself.

And in one universe, two men sit on the couch and kiss and love
their lives. And in another, a blonde stoner waits for his quiet
friend. And in another, a former addict lies in a bed in a hospital.
And in another, a fifteen-year-old girl hums to herself as she
closes up the store. And in another, a god reunites with her twin,
and a dead man writes, and nobody is sure what is real and what is
not. And furthermore, they don't seem to care.