Title: Dizzy
Author: gracelessone
Fandom: ViewAskewniverse
Pairing: Jay and Silent Bob
Rating: NC-17 I think, explicit sex
Status: New
Archive: oh I'd wait and see if it dwindles into a pile o crap
Series: this should be a stand alone but I have no freakin' idea, now 
Kel's giving me bunnies about Scott so who knows? :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing but 2 gatorades and a couple of nails. I'm 
pretty sure Kevin Smith owns the rest of the universe
Notes: it was supposed to be short and sweet! with lots of sex! my 
first fic and the little stoners are already giving me problems *grr*
Summary: I *hate* summaries, I *suck* at summaries. so you don't get 
one. Sue me.
Warnings: first time J/SB slasher *gulp*

ok guys, more warnings. m/m sex, implied and explicit non-consensual 
sex, implied underage sex, physical abuse, and the stirrings of 
fucked-upJay. This is *not* a nice piece. But it gets better. I 
promise.




Dizzy
part 5

Bob started asking around, quietly of course. Jay hadn't told him 
much about his past and he hadn't pried. Until now. 

It was a sad story, but not an uncommon one. 

Silent Bob was watching Jay while he was listening to one of his many 
cousins tell Jay's tale in a dry voice. All that pain and despair 
turned into a 5-minute monologue half-whispered to him by a chain 
smoking hitman.

A teenage mother and a father who drifted away like smoke as soon as 
her belly started to swell. It looked like the girl had tried to 
fill the holes that hopelessness can cut into a soul with a string of 
loser boyfriends. In between the boyfriends she remembered she had a 
boy of her own and would turn that need for love on him. Eager to 
give and ever forgiving he always fell for it, and always crashed 
hard when the next boyfriend showed up. When the talking stopped and 
the blows began. When the trips to the grocery store changed into 
trips to the liquor store. 

Jay's first time in Juvie was when he was 12. He was caught 
shoplifting and spent a month in that dark brick building. His 
mother didn't know he was gone until half that time had gone by. Jay 
was too pretty to be in Juvie at 12. His hair was too golden and too 
long and his eyes didn't have enough shattered glass in them. They 
found him bleeding in the showers with a broken arm and three 
fractured ribs. It only happened once. After that he had learned 
how to play the game.

He went into the system twice more before things changed. His mother 
got a boyfriend who was actually sticking around. The house started 
to feel like someone lived there instead of a place to party then 
crash then leave, it didn't matter to Jay though, he spent as little 
time there as possible. About three months ago he didn't go back. 

Not an uncommon story.

Bob lit a cigarette and finally spoke.

"Something's missing. Find out what."

As his cousin started to walk away Bob stopped him with a look.

"From now on, he's family."

The look got harder.

"Understand?"

The cousin paused and nodded slowly, understanding completely. 

~~~~
It took a little while but Jay relaxed around Bob again and they 
settled back into a routine. Jay seemed to know everyone who smoked 
in the whole fucking county. He knew where the parties were, who the 
players were and who would buy what. With Bob's supply of weed and 
Jay's mouth business was good. Things were good all around. Until 
today.

Jay was slouched at the table praising the angel who had created 
coffee. His long fingers were wrapped around the steaming cup for 
warmth. He was always so fucking cold, especially after the 
nightmares came. It had been a while and he was kinda hoping they 
were gone. Last night had shredded that hope. He woke up screaming; 
with his forearm forced between his teeth so hard he had drawn 
blood. 

The blond shuddered and sipped at his coffee. A sneer drifted across 
his face; it wasn't like that was the first time he had bled. The 
nightmare was always the same. He was on a bed in a dark room lying 
on his stomach. He wanted to curl up but couldn't. There was 
someone coming, and the fear got stronger with every noise. At the 
moment when he could feel his nerves snapping some one touched his 
back. He wanted to scream but couldn't, his voice was as frozen as 
his body was. He heard his name and relaxed. It was only James, his 
mothers *wonderful* new boyfriend. The one who had saved them. This 
he could handle, hell this he handled at least a few times a month. 
His mother either didn't know or didn't care. Jay figured it wasn't 
worth mentioning. He had learned how to play the game. The dream 
James was a lot like the real James. He would stroke Jay's back for 
a long time, whispering things Jay could never quite catch. Then the 
beating would start, mostly slaps with his hands but every once in a 
while the buckle end of a belt would kiss Jay's flesh and leave red 
lipstick-mocking welts. After that James would climb on the bed, 
forcing Jay's face hard into the pillow and pushing his thighs open 
with his hips. After forcing his cock into the pale thin body 
beneath him he would come quickly. This Jay could handle, there were 
even a few times when this substitute father figure didn't make him 
bleed. James would climb off the boy fast, like he was burned, even 
though Jay felt icy ribbons of glass coating his skin. James would 
stay though, just stand they watching. Watching Jay shiver. 
Watching his handprints rise into welts. Watching the mix of come 
and blood stain Jays cheeks and thighs.

After that is when it got scary.

Jay rubbed his hands over his face, trying to erase this mix of 
nightmare and memory. If Bob came out and saw him now... saw his face 
now... he would know. He would be able to read everything with a 
single glance and Jay didn't think he could handle that.

He poured another cup of coffee and wrapped his hands around it. He 
was so fucking cold.