Title: Dizzy
Author: gracelessone
Fandom: ViewAskewniverse
Pairing: Jay and Silent Bob
Rating: I'm thinking it's an R, but I suck at rating
Status: New
Archive: oh I'd wait and see if it dwindles into a pile o crap
Series: this should be a stand alone but I have no freakin' idea
Disclaimer: I own nothing 3 overflowing ashtrays and a siamese cat 
named Harlequin who is convinced that *he* owns *me*
I'm pretty sure Kevin Smith owns the rest of the universe
Notes: it was supposed to be short and sweet! with lots of sex! my 
first fic and the little stoners are already giving me problems *grr*
Summary: I *hate* summaries, I *suck* at summaries. so you don't get 
one. Sue me.
Warnings: first time J/SB slasher *gulp*


ok more warnings, it's still not nice. Confused Bob, Scary Bob, 
fucked up Jay, foul language, drug use, implied nonconsensual sex 
(why does that word have the word 'sensual' in it?)

Dizzy
part 6

Bob was lying in bed listening to Jay rattle around in the kitchen. 
He had heard the screams in the early hours of the morning; one 
piercing, hard, spike of noise and then a stream of muffled sounds. 
Shattered sounds. 
Before his head was awake he had a baseball bat and was in the 
hallway looking for� whomever� whatever. Jay's room. That's where 
it was coming from. He threw open the door ready to kill and stopped 
dead in his tracks. Jay was twisting and shifting on the bed, trying 
to quiet that mouth of his by biting his arm. He was covered in 
sweat and tears and� blood? His arm was bleeding. Bob stepped 
closer, ready to stop this but just as he got to the edge of the bed 
Jay curled around a pillow and began to weep. The dark haired man 
reached out with a shaky hand, letting it hover over the sobbing 
boy. He wanted to help, he wanted the tears to stop, but he knew Jay 
well enough to know that he hated to be seen as weak. He stood 
there, his dark eyes full of confusion and his hand still inches away 
from stroking the tangled mass of gold. Finally, he turned and 
walked away, each sob slicing into his back like razors.

When Bob finally came out the next morning Jay was sprawled across 
their couch, flipping through the channels. Situation normal so 
far. After he poured a cup of coffee and lit a cigarette Bob shoved 
Jay's legs out of the way and sat down. The kid snatched his 
cigarette out of his hand and started talking, questions about 
parties and weed mixed with insults and smartass remarks about 
anything and everything. Bob thought he could hear an edge of 
desperation in Jay's voice today. Yeah, it was slight but it was 
there. He interrupted the little sonic boom.

"We're taking the day off."

It took Jay a minute to realize Bob had spoken. When he turned his 
mouth on he had turned his head off. That was the way he wanted it 
today and he was pissed off that Bob had pulled him out of that state.

"What the fuck you talkin' `bout you tubby bitch? We ain't taking a 
day off. We got places to go, people to see--"

Bob interrupted him once more.

"Not today. We're low on weed and I got some shit I got to do."

Jay cringed, his face showing fear before he slammed those walls back 
up.

"Fine Lunchbox. You go do what you gots to do. I'll go sell a little 
at the Quick Stop and see what kinda pussy I can find�"

His voice trailed off as Bob leaned in close to him. He was giving 
him a hard look, the one that meant he wasn't gonna take any shit 
from who ever was on the other end of it. Jay had never been on this 
end of it. It was fucking scary.

Bob's voice was as hard as his eyes. "You don't sell without me. 
Ever. Got it?"

Jay swallowed once and his voice got smaller. "Y-- yeah, I got it."

Bob caught Jay's hurt look and replayed his words in his head. 

*Dammit* 

"You can't go out with as much weed and cash as we normally carry 
without muscle. No fucking way. You wanna sell that bad I'll get 
one of my cousins to go with you."

Jay shook his head quickly. Bob's cousins were scary as all fuck. 
He twisted his hands in his lap, watching his fingers whiten. What 
the fuck was he gonna do by himself? Of all the days for Bob to 
wanna go off alone. A thick roll of cash thudded onto the cushion 
beside him. 

Bob was standing by the door shrugging his trench coat on.

"Wanna go shopping?"

````
Jay was like a little kid at the mall. He would have spent all of 
his half of the profits on CD's and porn if Bob hadn't steered him 
away and into a clothing store. The tall thin kid had been borrowing 
Bob's shirts and stuff but the size difference was limiting. Finally 
they were relaxing at the food court, trading insults with Brodie and 
TS and eating pretzels, shopping bags scattered around their feet. 

"Man, I feel like a girl, buying all these fuckin' clothes."

"Well you always looked like one."

The words came from behind them and wrapped themselves around Jay, 
draining the color out of his face. 

Bob stood slowly and tossed his keys to Brodie. After a look and a 
gesture TS was grabbing the bags and Brodie was pulling Jay out of 
the chair. 

Bob took a deep breath and turned around just as slowly as he had 
stood. He watched Brodie and TS drag Jay out of the food court from 
the corner of his eye, unwilling to look at Jay fully and see the 
damage done. Instead he focused on the man in front of him. He was 
somewhere in his forties, mousy brown hair slowly turning grey and 
watery blue eyes. He was tall but slouched, his shoulders hunching 
over a classic beer belly. 

Bob let his eyes trail down, then back up, stopping at the man's 
face. Those normally brown orbs had darkened to almost black, hard 
and cold, and they were staring right through this fuck. 

The older man had been assessed and dismissed. His reddening face 
and clenched jaw told Bob he knew it.

*Good*

A woman walked towards them, stuttering to a stop when she got close 
enough to feel the tension spiraling around the two men. She had 
hair just like Jay, long and soft and golden. Her hand went 
unconsciously to her rounded belly and her voice came out soft and 
scared.

"J�James?" 

James leaned fractionally closer to the dark man in front of him.

"Ask the little bastard how he liked his going away present."

With that said he bolted, dragging the woman along by one arm. He 
wasn't quite running� not quite.

~~~~
Bob slumped down on the couch, watching his roommate pack the bong. 
After the events at the mall Bob expected� well he wasn't sure 
exactly what he expected. But it wasn't this. Jay was quiet. More 
than quiet, he was silent. Bob pulled a hit from the bong, letting 
the acrid bite of the smoke fill his lungs and seep into his blood. 
The tension started to slide away. He looked over at the blond 
beside him and slid a little closer.

"Is it lonely there?"

The soft question broke through the noise in Jay's mind, dimmed all 
those voices that wouldn't shut up.

"Wh�what? What the fuck you talkin' `bout?"

The words were classic Jay-speak but the voice was something Bob 
hadn't heard before. It was soft and shaky ready to crack. His 
roommate seemed so much smaller now than he ever had before.

"Is it lonely there?"

"Wh-where?"

"All alone there in your head."

Jay sucked a breath in and leaned his head back on the cushion, 
closing his eyes to shut out the site of the dark haired man beside 
him. He could do this on his own. He would get his voice back in a 
day or two and then he could start drowning out those voices again. 
Those voices that called him a slut, a boy toy, a bitch, a whore. 
That was the word he heard the most; whore. They called him a whore 
when they were on his back shoving into him, using his blood as a 
lubricant and they called him a whore when he�

Jay raked his nails across his thighs. He wasn't gonna go there, 
wasn't going, never ever. He jerked when he felt a hand stroke his 
hair.

Bob touched the blond hair lightly, wanting to soothe but not wanting 
to hurt this boy anymore than he'd already been hurt. When Jay 
didn't pull away he kept petting him, just little touches to let him 
know he wasn't alone. At that thought Bob spoke.

"You could let me in. Let me in your head."

For the first time that day Jay sobbed. He snarled at himself and 
scrubbed his face with both hands. Without looking at Bon he flung 
his lean body off the couch and stumbled to his room.

Before Jay slammed his bedroom door shut behind him Bob thought he 
heard two words. "too dirty"

What the fuck was going on?


TBC

someone please, help me kill this thing before it takes over my brain.
gracie
(never read Plath then write Jay)