Title: Employed Author: Jade Rating: Let's say PG to PG-13 for language. Feedback: jade27_al@yahoo.com Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob Disclaimer:Alas, I don't own the boys. Wish I did! Wouldn't that be a fun weekend! *grins* But, Miramax, View Askew, Kev and all those fine people own em. Don't sue me, I'm a poor college student. You wouldn't get anything anyway. Distribution: Go for it, Archive: Sure, why not? Notes: Basically, I had a crappy day at work. Jay is venting my aggressions. Series/Sequel: The more I think about it, the more I think there probably will be more.. hopefully more slashy than this. ("What slash?" You ask..) ------------------------------------ Jay growled. He couldn't believe this. This was the worst thing that could happen to him. Well.. almost. Him, Jay, was not-so-gainfully employed at the Eden Praire Mall. As a food court maintainance person. Yep. One of the very same blue apron wearing mother fuckers he used to make fun of. And it sucked. It sucked hard. Seven hours of his life washed down the tubes every fucking day.. except Monday and Tuesday. But he was usually so tired by then he slept through those two days and woke up just in time on Wednesday to go back to work. It sucked. Have I mentioned that yet? "Excuse me sir..." And what the fuck was up with people calling him sir all of the suddan? No one ever called him sir! Jay blinked, being ripped from his thoughts of how much this job sucked. "Yeah what?" He scowled and dropped a tray on top of the garbage can. "I was just wondering if I can go in there.." A woman motioned to the twin doors blocking off the hall to the bathrooms. "Yeah sure lady." Jay sneered. "Those big yellow 'Bathrooms out of service' sign apply to everyone but you. Get out of here." The woman blinked at Jay. "Well.. uhm.. could you tell me where I could find other bathrooms?" "Are you fucking illiterate! Read the fucking sign!" He pointed to the paper on the door with a list of alternative bathroom locations. The woman walked off, mumbling something about a complaint. "YEAH I GOT YOUR COMPLAINT RIGHT HERE, BITCH!" Jay yelled after her and grabed his crotch. "Snoogans..." Jay sighed. When the fuck was his shift over again? Oh yeah, 9:00 pm. What time was it now? He looked at his, or rather Bob's, watch. "It's only 6!?" Jay yelped in suprise. "I've still have three fucking hours! Son of a BITCH!" He yelled and threw his rag down on a near-by table. It was about that time that the cheerleaders came in. It would have been fun... if they had been cute. "The whole world's against me dude.. I swear to God." Jay mumbled. Why the fuck was he here? Oh yeah. Sales had been slow, and Bob and he needed to make rent. So he found a real job. A real sucky job. A real sucky job that only paid minumum wage. Hopefully he'd only have to be here for a few months. "Hey!" Jay sighed and looked up. It was a kid about 10 or 11 years old. "What the fuck do you want?" "I could do this job better than you." Jay's eye twitched. "What did you just say?" "I *SAID* that I could do a better job than you." Jay snarled and grabed the kid by the shirt. "You think so huh?" The kid gulped and nodded, quickly regretting it. "Fine." Jay dropped the kid in a heap and threw his rag at him. "Go for it. I get paid either way. And you better do a fucking bang up job. Now GO!" He yelled, then kid just looked at him and started crying. "Fuck you kid! You need to learn to fucking shut the hell up unless you know what to fuck your talking about. Get out of my way, fucking pussy." The kid ran off bawling. Jay growled and picked up his rag, then swiped it across the table. There. Everything was done for a little bit. With a heavy sigh, Jay sauntered over to the Pizza Palace and leaned against the wall, surveying the food court and thinking more. Maybe he should start being nicer to Randal and Dante. They had to put up with this shit day in and day out. How did they do it? He'd only been here a week and it was driving him insane. "Hey Goldilocks!" Jay cringed and looked in the direction of the voice. It was Shannon Hamilton. "The fuck do you want?" Jay growled. "Oh.. nothing.." Shannon smiled innocently and proceeded to dump a full 44 ounce Mountain Dew on the floor. "Oops..." "YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILIC LITTLE BITCH! LAFOURS, DID YOU SEE THIS SHIT!?" Jay screamed at the security guard in the stupid hat. LaFours nodded and escorted Shannon out of the mall. Jay growled, then grabbed some clean towels and knelt down to clean up the mess. "Fucking bastard." he growled again as he wiped up the mess. Then he felt someone tap his shoulder, Jay swung around and cocked his fist back, only to see the face of Bob smiling down at him. "Hey.. what the fuck you doing here Lunchbox?" Jay asked and put his arm down. This was the first good suprise all day. Bob pointed to Jay's watch. Jay blinked and looked. "9:00 already? Fuck.. time flies when you're having the shit annoyed out of you. Come on Silent Bob," he said, getting up and depositing the towels right into the garbage, then tearing his hair of of the ponytail, "Let's go get drunk."