Title: "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to The Strip Club"
Author: DeadGrrl
Fandom: Dogma/Askewniverse
Pairing: Jay / Silent Bob
Rating: R (Language)
Status: New
Archive: E-me for permission
E-mail address for feedback: deadgrrl2@yahoo.com
Series/Sequel: No series, just my on going obsession with the slashy 
nature of two stoners.
Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent 
Bob, Dogma and the Askewniverse. I'm just borrowing them for my own 
perverse pleasures but promise to return them unharmed... just 
slightly flustered. 
Notes: It's a snippet, really. But something I had to get out of my 
system. I kept wonder what occurred between Jay and Silent Bob before 
they segued to the strip club. I think I figured it out...
Summary: See title (smirk)
Spoilers: For Dogma, slight reference. It won't ruin the film for 
you, but it would take away from a slashy moment of enjoyment.
Parting Remark: "It's Smith's World... And I'm gonna slash it."

"A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to The Strip Club"
By DeadGrrl

"Dude, not all the time.... Dude." Jay replied to Bob's shocked 
expression. Bob got up and started walking away from Jay. He had no 
idea where he was going, but he knew he had to get away from Jay. He 
needed a few moments to himself. He needed to... process this new 
information.

Bob didn't get far, seeing as Jay had followed him. "Now how about 
that shit!" Jay was yelling. Bob ignored him and continued walking. 
Jay's longer strides quickly caught up with Bob's fast pace. Stopping 
in front of Bob, Jay asked, "So what's the big deal? So when I jack 
off sometime I think of guys!" Bob brushed past him. He needed time 
to think...

Jay threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Jesus, it's not like 
I think about your tubby ass *all* the time, Lunchbox. So what!"

Bob's steps ground to a halt as he turned and looked at Jay in horror.

"For fucksake, what if I do? What would be so wrong if we would play 
Butt Pirates of Caribbean? Who cares? Who should give a shit if I 
wanted you to bust a nut in me, or if I want to blow a load in your 
sweet mouth? Or if I just wanted to come up to you like this..." Jay 
ranted and closed the distance between himself and Bob, "And lay one 
on you like so," he concluded as he grabbed Bob and planted a long, 
drawn out kiss on him.

Bob felt his eyes roll in his head as Jay's mouth devoured his. The 
kiss was all heat and passion, tongues rubbing and lips pressing hard 
against each other. It went on for a long moment, and then even 
longer after they both paused for a breath and continued the assault.

Jay's hands were cupping Bob's face while Bob's remained buried deep 
in the pockets of his coat. There they flexed and twitched with a 
previously unrealized desire to be caught in long blond hair.

Breaking apart for another brief second Jay muttered "Oh, fuck 
yeah..." and pressed into Bob again. Bob moaned as Jay's tongue swept 
back into his mouth. His hands finally conceded defeat and tangled 
themselves into the strands of soft blond hair. Jay's hands slide 
downwards, gliding past Bob's chest as one wrapped around his waist 
under Bob's coat. The other hand snaked past Bob's waist and found 
purchase on Bob's ass. Jay pulled Bob tighter to him, and Bob moaned 
again as Jay's hand pressed him snugly to himself. He could feel the 
outline of the beginning of an erection against him.

And then it was over as Jay had broken off the kiss and stood three 
feet away from Bob, continuing his rant. "Like I said, so fucking 
what! You kiss better than any girl I know does, but what fucking 
business is it of theirs? None! It's like I said before, it's 
personal and these other cocksmokers should just suck rope!" Jay 
concluded with a shout.

Silent Bob continue stare at Jay, dumbfounded at what had just 
happened.

"Besides, it don't mean I'm gay." Jay felt obligated to point out. 
Bob looked at Jay in shocked disbelief. "It just means I'm open to 
sexuality. Boy with girls, girls with girls, boys with boys. I think 
it's all-good, and it ain't any of my fucking business, nor anybody 
else's as to who's getting down with whom. " Jay paused in front of 
some club. "Now, let's go look at some titties..." Jay concluded as 
he opened the door of the strip club. 

Bob hurriedly agreed, thankful for a distraction, realizing that 
there was some serious shit he was going to have to deal with very 
shortly.

END