Title: Hands On Experience
Author: DeadGrrl
Fandom: Dogma / Askewniverese
Pairing: Jay / Silent Bob
Rating: NC-17
Status: New
Archive: E-me for permission, deadgrrl2@yahoo.com
E-mail address for feedback: deadgrrl2@yahoo.com
Series/Sequel: No series, just my ongoing obsession with the slashy 
nature of two stoners.
Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent 
Bob, and Dogma. I'm just borrowing them for my own secret pleasures 
but promise to return them unharmed... but smiling.
Notes: This sucker had a major re-write after viewing Dogma again. I 
think it came out better with fewer contortions. The Inspiration: The 
part on the train. I was watching it, saw Jay's head on Silent Bob's 
shoulder and declared aloud, "They are *so* fucking." This was much 
to the amusement of a friend who spat out their soda in response.
Summary: Jay and Silent Bob and a few moments 'alone' on the train.
Warnings: First time-ish? Does this count as a First Time? I dunno, 
but we'll call it that. Oh and it's another one of those sweet kinda 
sappy stories. I swear, I don't know where I get them from either.
Spoilers: For Dogma. Yes very much so.
Parting Remark: "It's Smith's World... And I'm gonna slash it."

"Hands On Experience"
By DeadGrrl

Jay's head rested on Silent Bob's shoulder as the two slumped into a 
comfortable position. Bob listened politely to Larry as he carried on 
what was technically a one-sided conversation. Bob's expressions 
relayed enough for Larry's monologue not the go unheard.

The problem was Jay. Jay was distracting Bob. The younger man had 
tucked part of himself behind Bob, resting his head on Bob's shoulder 
and midway through the discourse and had fallen asleep, the constant 
motion of the train relaxing him. During this impromptu slumber, Jay 
had been snuggling into Bob, pressing himself close into Bob's space. 
So much so, that Larry had made comment about it.

"Your 'friend' looks like he's getting a little friendly." Larry 
smiled. Bob shrugged a shoulder at this. Larry continued to smile at 
him. "That's cool, to have someone to look after. Have someone to 
love you. You're both very lucky."

Bob raised his eyebrows at this and frowned. What the hell was this 
guy talking about? He didn't like the look in Larry's eyes.

"No, no, man. I'm not judging - just making an observation." Larry 
turned his gaze downward.

Bob just nodded at this and let it go. Jay shifted again until he was 
almost 1/2 behind Bob, resting his face against Bob's neck. His right 
arm snaked around Bob's waist. Jay sighed contentedly into Bob's neck 
and murmured something, his face in long dark hair. A moment later 
Bob became aware that Jay was doing something else. Jay was kissing 
him, soft kisses above the collar of his coat. Bob stopped breathing 
for a moment as his heart divided, half swelling, and the other half 
dropping to his feet 

It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't mean anything...He's stoned and 
he's dreaming and it doesn't mean anything... Bob's racing mind 
reminded itself. 

At that moment the train jarred shaking Jay awake. Jay's eyes 
fluttered open as he swayed out from behind Bob's shoulder. Bob's 
hands caught him around the shoulder and pulled him back in a tight 
grasp. Jay blinked sleepily at Bob, smiled and mumbled "Hey". Placing 
his face back into the crook of Bob's neck Jay resumed kissing Bob's 
and murmured "Mmm, Bob" softly.

To this Bob blinked. Then he shook his head as if to clear it. 
Blinking again, Silent Bob couldn't decide if he should ask where the 
Candid Camera was or keep quiet. He opted to keep quiet and let Jay 
do whatever he wanted.

Larry looked on wistfully. "Hey man, should I leave you guys alone?" 
he asked softly. 

Bob pursed his lips in thought and shook his head no. He's stoned, 
he's stoned... kept running through Bob's head. Stoned or not Jay was 
being extremely affectionate. Nevertheless, Bob was still shocked 
when Jay's hand slowly slid from between them to his crotch and began 
lightly rubbing him ever so slowly.

Attempting to keep this new development under wraps, Bob's only 
concession to Jay's new activity was the split second that his 
eyebrows shot up and his eyes opened wide. 

Larry paused in his discussion of Star Wars and Christianity and 
smiled again. "I think I'll get a drink... Be back in a bit." He 
pushed himself up and out of the bench, eyes flickering downward to 
confirm what he suspected. Still smiling, Larry wandered off into the 
hallway.

"'Bout fucking time," Jay murmured from Bob's neck, and used the hand 
already rubbing Bob to unzip Bob's jeans and slide his nimble fingers 
in. Bob's sharp intake of breath was soft, but the moan he had to 
cover up with a cough. Bob was shaking his head sharply for Jay to 
stop.

Jay snickered, "If I can roll a joint in the dark, don't you think I 
can jerk you off under a table?" Bob's reply was a hissing breath as 
Jay ran his thumb over the crown of Bob's rapidly hardening cock. 

"Christ, I never thought he'd leave." Jay breathed into Bob's 
neck. "And no, it's not that I'm stoned. I'm just horny." Jay 
mentioned casually as if he had heard the big man's earlier thoughts. 
Bob just nodded as Jay's hand kept doing wonderful things. Bob's head 
leaned back, eyes sliding closed. The rolling motion of the train 
lulling him, convincing him that this was an excellent idea. Jay's 
voice was in his ear, "Fucking trains... I've been hard for the last 
hour... Jesus, we gotta take more trains..." Jay's warm breath 
whispered. 

"And if you don't mind, I'd like a little friction myself..." Jay 
shifted again, directed Bob's fist off of his lap and in between his 
hips and the table. He unzipped himself with his free hand and 
pressed Bob's hand to his boxers. Unsure, Bob hesitated for a 
moment. "Please?" Jay whispered. Mind made up, Bob's hand slid down 
through the boxers and grasped Jay's already hard cock.

"Oh, yeah" Jay hissed quietly into Bob's neck. "Yeah, work it bitch." 
Jay moaned softly as his own fist increased speed. Bob felt his 
eyelids fluttering as Jay's hand pulled on him, working him.

Bob's head was spinning, the whole moment was unreal - Jay's hand on 
him and whispering in his ear. This was definitely going to be 
chalked up as the weirdest moment in their friendship. 

"Fuck yeah, fuck yeah," Jay was panting quietly, kisses still 
sporadically being laid on Bob's neck. Jay was sure that this was 
possibly the best moment of his life. Being touched by Bob, being 
able to touch Bob like this... Jay forced himself to not think about 
it; otherwise he'd shoot his load immediately. His eyes flicked open 
and he glanced at Bob's profile. Silent Bob's eyes were tightly shut 
and he was biting his lower lip. Jay changed his grip slightly and 
watched Bob's sharp intake of breath. Then he leaned into Bob again 
and gently nipped his neck. 

Bob gave a shudder. Encouraged Jay nipped Bob again, only slightly 
harder. The orgasm took Bob by surprise and his hips thrusted up as 
his cock spilled over Jay's hand. Bob gave a quiet moan as Jay's hand 
milked him. The wetness adding a new dimension to the sensation as 
Jay's hand continued to stroke him through the slickness. Bob 
collapsed back into the seat. 

Jay's voice was whispering in his ear, "Oh god, oh god, that was so 
hot, I'm close, please Bob, please..."

Bob's hand, which had slowed down considerably with his orgasm, 
picked up the stroke again. Jay was shuddering in pleasure, dialog 
flowing continuously now. "Yes, yes, fucking give it to me..." Bob 
stroked Jay's cock, and leaned his over and began kissing Jay's neck. 
The hand that Jay had been clutching at Bob with twitched dangerously 
so Bob took it in his own, their fingers entwining in the slick 
fluid. Bob could hardly believe the words coming from Jay, the 
anxious breath rushing past his ear. "Please, please, faster, oh god, 
so good, so good, love you, love you, love you." Jay's hips began a 
deep thrust and suddenly Jay's lips were on Bob's. Immediately after 
which Jay's orgasm hit. As he screamed his release into Bob's mouth 
fluid jetted out of him, down Bob's hand, covering the underside of 
the table and part of Jay.

Collapsing against Bob, Jay tucked his head into Bob's shoulder. Bob 
kissed Jay's forehead as the blond panted against him. Bob looked 
around, miraculously, no one appeared to have noticed. Releasing 
Jay's hand Bob snagged one of the cloth napkins off the table, and 
shucked it free of it silverware. He dropped one on Jay and took 
another for himself. Gently removing his hand from Jay, he brushed 
against the now wilting cock. Jay gave a small gasp as he bumped the 
head. Bob apologized sub-vocally into long blond hair and placed a 
gentle kiss at his temple.

"S'okay," Jay murmured as he took the napkin and started to wipe 
himself off. Bob followed suite and cleaned up as best he could, and 
zipped up. Jay slid away from Bob, tucked himself back in his pants 
and wiped up the booth and table. Taking the napkin from Bob with a 
sheepish grin he tossed them under the table of the next booth. Jay 
then turned right way round and sat up straight in his seat.

Silent Bob privately mourned the loss of the younger man's frame on 
his. Jay shuffled about in his seat for a moment then slouched behind 
Bob again, resting his head on Bob's shoulder and settled back to 
sleep. Bob reacted to this with stunned amusement. He blushed, shook 
his head and placed his hand on Jay's thigh. Jay snuggled in closer 
as he leaned over with his eyes still shut, kissed Bob's cheek, and 
murmured "Love you, Lunchbox" laying his head back on Bob's shoulder. 
Before Bob had a chance to react, Larry was making his toward them, 
and Jay appeared to be fast asleep.

Bob shook his head in amazement, lit up a smoke and stopped trying to 
figure out his friend. If Jay said he loved him, then he did. It was 
an oddity, only in the concept that Bob had never figured that Jay 
would say the words aloud, let alone act on them. But Jay had. The 
larger part of Bob's burden, of carrying his feelings inside had, in 
one amazing moment, been removed. Jay loved him. And Bob, who had 
loved Jay since - well, forever, had now only to tell him, but in 
words, not actions. Bob gave a rare smile. 

Larry slid into the booth across from them and smiled back. "Like I 
said, very lucky."

END