Title: "Hell to Pay" Author: Kelandris the Mad Fandom: View Askewniverse (pre-Clerks) Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob Rating: Songfic. NC-17 for male-male graphic sexuality, homosexual situations, adult themes. R for language. Status: New Archive: The traditional places. If you don't know what the traditional places are, you might want to write and ask. And here's how: Feedback: kel@crazysheep.net Series/Sequels: Sequels "Out of the Rain", "Can't Afford to Pay the Rent", "Inhabited", and "Pleasure of Your Company". Fifth in the WonderWhore series. Might be sequelled by "Another Cross to Bear". Disclaimers: I am invisible, slipping under Miramax's radar so that Kevin Smith does not decide to sue me over perverting his, um, actually quite easily pervertable creations, Jay and Silent Bob. Sadly, I make nothing from all this, though I'd love to figure out a way to charge without getting sued. Notes: This is all starla's fault because she said she wanted me to send her the sex stuph that wasn't working out so I kept plugging at it, seeing if I couldn't turn the tale around, or at least find a definitive stopping point, and now it's spawned YET ANOTHER SEQUEL, and grrr. There's lots of grrr over this. There is serious grrr face. Grrr, starla. Summary: Bob gives up and tries to work things out with Trin while Jay tags along for the ride. Warnings: Angst. Angst and more angst, still, large leaden bricks of it. Seems to be the backbone of the series. And more kissing. And more arguing. And yet another appearance of Talky!Bob. And people throwing things. Bob's in the middle of all of it. And Jay's got a knife. Anybody got a match for the gasoline? "Hell to Pay" by Kelandris the Mad *Won't do no good to hold no seance What's gone is gone and you can't bring it back around* Afternoon sun slanted over two sated bodies, one stocky and dark- haired, the other pale and thin and blond, laying over the broad chest of the man underneath. "Man," the blond moaned. "You gots endurance, I give you that. Fuck, I am *beat*." The dark-haired man just moaned, eyes drifting closed. "Yeah, I hear ya, Bob. Kinda me too...but I want a shower." His eyebrows danced as he pulled himself wearily upright. "You wanna help?" "Jay..." The brunet trailed to a halt; it seemed all he had the strength to say. Jay shrugged. "Your loss, then, baby. I need some hot water, snap me back to *life*." And he rose, staggering a little, walking across the floor to the bathroom. Bob threw a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the glare. His hands had long since been untied, but the skin on the wrists was reddened a little. And he was pretty sure he had bruises in a couple places. Things had gotten... He sighed. Well, no more out of hand than he'd thought, considering. He knew how he got when he was bottoming. Jay had been *thrilled*. Grimacing, he pulled himself up, stretching, hearing muscles creak and joints pop. Thank God Tony'd had business in town, that had kept him from the apartment all day, or they would've been in serious trouble. He still wasn't unconvinced they weren't--between Trin on one side, who was *not* going to like Jay, at *all*, and whoever-it-was that Tony'd pissed off on the other...Shit. Like he needed more life complications. He stood, thinking for a moment, eyes still closed. Shower, Jay had said. Yeah, shower with Jay in it, but he thought, tired as he was, that was his last concern. Yeah, shower sounded good. Then call a cab and get back on the road and get back to his place and have it out with Trin. Wonderful. *Won't do no good to hold no searchlight You can't illuminate what time has anchored down* He made two calls while he gathered up their clothes. His dress shirt was a rag, now, and he frowned, walking into Tony's room. Did he still have...Yes, he thought, pulling out his old Leonardo High sweatshirt. He thought it would still fit. For some reason, Tone'd fallen for it hard, and wanted to keep it even after the split, and hell, this would ensure that he'd come back at least once to return it, right? That way, he couldn't sweep the Tony situation completely under the rug. Much as he wanted to. The cab company said they were running late, which was no real problem; they'd be there sometime between 30 and 45 minutes from now. Great. Time limit on that shower was exactly what he needed. Then he called Trin. Please don't be home, he thought, please be gone, please be over at Amanda's or-- "Hello?" Damn. "Hey," he said softly. "About fucking time," Trin spat. "And where have you been?" "Tony's." "Tony's." "Tony's." "You couldn't have called." *Oh, honey, I've gone away I've gone away I've gone away* Bob sighed on the other end of the phone, and Trin snarled. Trinidad Adelisa Isabella Montez in full bitch fever, he should have known. He'd been here before, but never as soon as seventeen words into the conversation. This was going to get ugly. He had a strong surreal sense that he wasn't walking away from this unscathed. And wasn't this perfect? Fucked into blind, stunned, near- unconsciousness by a boy whore who was his latest pet project, spending the night with the severe ex's, who's now linked in some shady arrangement with sectors of his family that could drag him back into crime and punishment, and Trin's yelling at him because he didn't call. All he fucking needed, right here. "Listen...I was tired when I got in, I just wanted somewhere to crash. I called Tony." "You couldn't have, oh, I don't know, had the cab drop you off *here*?" Her tone was so acid it made his teeth ache. "There was..." Damn, he didn't need this today. He didn't need this yesterday. He just plain didn't need this. "There was *what*?" "It's complicated." "Isn't it always?" Bob rubbed his eyes wearily. Yes, Trin, he thought. Nearly always, yes, and most of the time anymore, it's complicated just to deal with you on a day to day basis. What happened? We were golden a year ago. There was affection, I know it. Maybe not love, maybe not forever, but a longer while than it's turned out to be. What happened? You got jealous. Why did you get jealous? What did I do that convinced you I was leaving? He realized, when he heard Trin curse, he'd been silent all this while, thinking this through. "What's his name, then?" "Who?" "Your latest boy toy." "He's not a..." What was the use, he thought. She was determined to put everything in the worst possible light. He shook his head, knowing she couldn't see it. "He's an old friend. He was in a bad situation in New York." "New York. Where you went to the conference?" "Yes." "So you weren't stealing another of Tone's boys?" Another? When had he stolen *one* of Tone's boys? He shook his head again. "No," he said aloud. "I brought him back from New York." There was silence on the other end of the line, silence that after a while sounded like one of his trademark word stops. "Trin?" he ventured. She spat an oath in Spanish. "You had to go all the way to New York this time, to find someone you liked better than me? What, the local boys don't do it for you anymore?" "Trin, it's not like that--" "Tell me what it is like, then!" she screamed. Bob pulled the phone away from his ear, grimacing. "Tell me! Tell me why I never know where you are anymore, I always come home and the house is empty, you're never home when I am, you're always--" And now he was finally upset. "What are you *talking* about? I was home early nearly every night last month! I had papers to grade, we spent a lot of time at home, but I was *there*, Trin! And after testing was over, it was spring break, and I was home every night but *one*, Trin, home to be with *you*!" "Yeah, sure, you say that, but you were never fucking *there*, Robert! Even when you slept beside me, you were never *there*! You haven't been there since--" Her voice choked into silence, and he got a sudden mental flash of Jay's empty eyes, staring down at his. Was it true? Had he shut her out so completely? That had never been his intention, even if they were just sharing a space for the convenience of it. "Since when?" he asked softly. "Since I called Adam," she said, her voice choked and stricken. "And asked where you were. And he said he hadn't seen you." That stunned him slightly. It was true. He hadn't seen Adam in nearly a month. "Adam said--" "And Aaron said the same thing, when I called him." "You called Aaron." "Fuck you, *Bob*." His head spun slightly, the thoughts contained within slightly jarring. It had been a good full quarter since he and Aaron had had a night out. Considering they were both TAs for the same college, it was hard to find *any* time one of them didn't have papers to grade. "And then I called Tony, and he couldn't think of who you were seeing, since *he* hadn't seen you in a while. And Mandy told me she'd seen you with Deck and Patrice, and you know, for a while there, I was *really* pissed off, because I thought you'd decided what you really wanted, more than me, was another *woman*. And then Deck and Patrice ended up leaving that next week for England. You remember that?" "Yeah," he said softly. What the hell *was* this? Did she always check up on him like this? This was beginning to scare him. There were terms for this behavior. *Won't do no good to sing no love song No sound could simulate the presence of a man Won't do no good asking no questions Your divination should acquaint you with the plan* "So," she finished, her voice trembling. "It's been this Jay all along." "Trin..." He sighed, scrubbing at his face, trying to figure her angle. He'd been as honest as he could have been, always gave her needs and wants preference, and because of that, she now thought he was an utter shit. No, he was out of his depth here. It made no sense to him. "I don't know what you're thinking," he said slowly, "but I met him the last night in New York. He's an old friend, a *very* old friend. I haven't seen him since I turned eighteen." "And you expect me to believe that." "I've told you nothing but the truth, Trin." "Right. As if you know what the fucking truth is." What the hell *was* this? Now he was upset *and* unnerved, and Jay had been in the shower for a really long time, and the cab was on its way, and sometime in all of this, he was sure, Tone was going to walk through the front door, expecting them to be gone. Fuck this. He had no fucking time for this. "Trinidad," he said sternly, and she cut him off. "Ooh, we've reached full names now, *Robert*. How fucking formal." This was going nowhere. Enraged, he stared at the phone for a moment, before placing it back against his ear. He wished he could see Trin's eyes right now. What would they be telling him that the anger in her voice was hiding? "This is not a conversation to have on the phone," he finally said. "Fuck if you get to have it in person, asshole." And she slammed the phone down, the plastic clattering loudly in his ears. Shit. He finished gathering up their clothes, his heart feeling as heavy as a stone in his chest. He folded everything neatly, laying it on the coffee-table, then shook his head. Might as well join the blond raisin in the shower; nothing else could go wrong. Ambling back towards the bathroom, he tried to make out the song Jay was singing, listening closely to the words. "Just a moment of weakness," he sang. "I should examine my head/Just a moment of weakness/I never meant a word I said..." He walked in to stand by the toilet, still listening, pissing with his eyes closed. When he was finished, he pulled the curtain back, and Jay was staring at him. "Thought that was you," he said, grinning. "Changed your mind?" "Shower sounded good," he said softly, climbing in. Jay pressed himself against him. "Baby, you *know* what I want," he purred, nuzzling Bob's neck. Bob pushed him away, sighing. **I seem to have a knack for impossible relationships,** he heard Richard Gere say. Yeah. Wasn't that the truth. Jay's eyebrows rose when he shook his head. "My. Fuck me baby, to fuck off, in 2.5 seconds." "No," Bob said, moving past Jay until he reached the showerhead, letting it drench his hair and close his eyes. "I'm just tired. And the cab's gonna be here soon." *Oh, honey I've gone away I've gone away I've gone away* "Where to now, baby?" "Don't call me--" Shit, what did it matter? Between Trin thinking he was a shit and Jay calling him baby, he much preferred Jay's mode of address. "Well, that's the fun part," he whispered, leaning back against the blond. "We're going back to my place. We'll either spend the night there, and figure out what happens after that, or you're going to help me pack up everything I want to keep, and let her set fire to the place." Jay had been moving his hands in lazy circles over Bob's back, moving them around his sides, tracing them over his belly. He and his hands froze when Bob stopped speaking. "There's a her?" Bob closed his eyes. "Her name's Trin," he said softly. "Huh. So, what, you just bone guys for fun? 'Cause I'm confused now." **Me too.** *My feel for you, boy, is decaying in front of me Like the carrion of a murdered prey And all I want is to save you, honey Or the strength to walk away* He washed his hair in silence, sluicing his hair clean of suds, and turned to leave the shower, only to find Jay standing in the way. Jay just looked at him for a long moment, blinking, then leaned back against the tiles. "What happened?" "What?" "What happened? Between oh-God-fuck-me-harder and me comin' to take a shower. Somethin' happened." "I called Trin." "And she told you off for spendin' the night here." Bob sighed heavily. "Only partially." "And the rest of it is what wound you up." "Something like that." He looked up, staring at his reflection in Jay's gleaming blue eyes. His own eyes looked like dark pools of stagnant water. He watched as Jay blinked, cutting off his moment of appalled contemplation. **What the hell am I going to do...** *Won't do no good to go no distance The space between us is as boundless as the dark Won't do no good to throw no fist, babe You can't intimidate me back into your arms* The rest of their time at Tony's was pretty uneventful, all things considered. They made it out of the shower intact, dressing quickly, Bob bundling the torn dress shirt into a plastic bag while Jay snickered an apology. Only once, right before the cab beeped its horn, did Jay corner Bob again, and kiss him, and shit, what *was* it about the way Jay kissed? He dropped the bag, curving his arms around Jay's narrow form, closing his eyes and kissing him, kissing him, parting those pale lips gently and sliding his tongue in like a promise of things to come. Which was something he was going to strive to avoid. But he couldn't stop kissing him. Then the horn beeped, and they both jumped, and Bob picked up the bag. He sent Jay out to the sidewalk, checked around to make sure the lights were off, the sheets put into the laundry, everything else put back in place--then locked the door and left, climbing into the cab beside Jay. Leaning forward, he gave his address to the driver, and thought all he really wanted was to sleep for the next fifteen days. When he woke up, maybe everything would have resolved itself. Yeah, right. There wasn't that much luck in the universe. It was almost an anticlimax, arriving at his apartment. It was a student flat, second floor of a student building, but it was a nice building, in pretty good shape. No bars on the windows, no shattered glass on the ground, no dealers hanging around to offer them the latest new groove. Everything seemed as peaceful as always until Bob looked up to his living room window, which looked out on the street. Trin stood there, watching him. Her curling black hair fell unbound to her shoulders, and she wore a tight white ribbed tank top, her *cafe-au-lait* arms folded tightly over her small breasts. Even from the sidewalk, he picked up the glittering burgundy of her lips, and the fact that she'd been crying recently. Great. He watched her, standing on the sidewalk, feeling Jay get out next to him. He watched as her eyes narrowed to slits. Something wasn't right here, other than her jealousy. He turned, telling the driver to stay for a few moments, and inhaled deeply, bracing himself. With one look behind at the blond, he turned to the stairs, taking them one careful step at a time. "That her?" Jay asked, just behind him. "Yeah," he said absently. What was going to happen when he opened that door...Oh, he was dreading it already. "She'd be cute if she pulled that stick outta her--" And Trin opened the door. Time stopped for Bob. Would it be better if she were mad, he wondered. Better if she screamed at him, all of her rage, all of her pain, get it all out and beyond her and get them back to talking, once the screaming had stopped. Would it be better then? Or would it be better if she were hurt, if she dissolved into fears and tears in the warm circle of his arms, if she raised a tearstained face up to him and asked him to explain why he'd hurt her so? Would that be better? Especially since he'd been wondering that himself all afternoon. How would he answer her? How would he answer himself? He watched, feeling the click as time started flowing forward again. Looking at her face, he knew immediately she'd picked an option he hadn't considered. And he had no idea of the rules of this game. "So," she said, standing on the doorstep. She made no move to move aside. Her eyes were tearstained, but it had been long enough that the rest of her face wasn't red. He knew from experience the tip of her nose grew red, and her whole face flushed when she cried, the tracks of tear-wet skin puffing slightly, as if she were allergic to the fluids her body produced. But he saw no evidence of fresh tears on her skin. She'd been crying far before the phone call. Bob looked around, tracing the frame of the door with his eyes, gestured at either side of it. "Are you going to let me in?" "I'm thinking...no. No. I've thought this over, and...no." Bob looked over her shoulder, and saw Amanda on the couch. He might have guessed that from Trin's glittering burgundy lips, Mandy's favorite shade. Must be slow today or something. Mandy looked about as upset as he'd ever seen her, but not specifically at him. Which meant she might have been here for the call, and was definitely here afterwards. What, if anything, did that mean? He looked at her, and she looked away. Interesting. In an unnerving way. "Care to tell me why?" he asked softly. *Oh, honey I've gone away I've gone away I've gone away* "Because you're a shit." Jay opened his mouth. Bob looked over, silencing him with a look. The boy subsided, but looked sullen and confused. Bob shook his head, turning his attention back to Trin. "Are you," he said carefully, "ending our relationship, or just my tenancy here?" Trin stared at him for a moment, black eyes flashing. "Oh, you are fucking *priceless*, you are. Yes. I am breaking up with your fag ass, because I have *had* it with--" "That's funny," he said, his voice low, dangerous, "coming from someone with her steady date sitting on the couch." Again Jay opened his mouth; this time twin pairs of espresso eyes flicked over to him, silencing the words he'd wanted to say. He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms and pouting. "So," Bob said, echoing her earlier tone perfectly. "Now that we are here, I would like permission to come in, retrieve my belongings and vacate the premises until such time as the matter of the lease can be decided." "Fuck off." "No, I believe it states clearly in the least that, in the event of one tenant leaving--" "FUCK OFF!" Trin screamed, her face reddening. "You can be reasonable about this, Trin," he said. God, how he hated this. "Or what, exactly?" she spat. "Or I'll come in anyway, and you can call the cops, and everyone will have a great time sorting everything out, by which time, they'll be supporting my right of entry anyway. Legally, you have no say here." She trembled, as if she were going to burst into tears, or strike him, and Bob wasn't sure which it was going to be. He knew for sure he wouldn't hit her back; that was a sure way to escalate the situation into something he absolutely did not want to deal with. He simply stared her down, breathing slowly and calmly. "Trin, the sooner I'm in, the sooner I'm gone. Jay with me. You know that." Her lips trembling, she shook her head, but stepped away from the door. "Fucker," she hissed, and he just shrugged. He walked Jay back to his work room, thinking to start there first, when a plate shattered against the open door. He whirled, instinctively shielding Jay with his body, pushing him partially into the room, and Trin threw another plate. A shard of it sliced into his cheek, and he barely felt it. What the hell was she thinking? He ran from the room, seeing with a vivid clarity the layout: Trin standing in the hall, one hand holding a plate, the other holding a cup. Amanda standing behind her, whispering into the phone as she looked at him with wide eyes. His heart fell clear through the floor, thudding on the carpet of the apartment below. Shit. He'd been set up. Quickly, he walked to Trin's side, grabbing her shoulders. Her mouth twisted, and her eyes were crazed. "I haven't hit you, Trin. I'm not going to. I just want to understand why you're doing this. I'm willing to leave, Trin, if it's what you want!" She slapped him, growling, her nails hooked into claws that sliced at least one narrow trail down his face. Shit. He knew he was bleeding now. That always looked bad. "Oh, yeah," she cried, chest hitching, "all you want is to get the fuck away from me. It's all you ever wanted, isn't it?" Bob shook his head, baffled. His gaze flicked from Mandy to Trin, and back. Soon cops would be at the front door, and this was not the scene they needed to see. "I'm *not* your enemy, Trin!" he said, shaking her lightly, then releasing her and stepping back. "Just let us clear out my gear, and I'll even pay rent for next month, while you work things out. I'm not protesting." "Why the fuck not?" she screamed, and hit him, again and again. She wavered in and out between English and Spanish, and he went down with the force of her rage, trying to shield his head with his upper arms as much as possible. He didn't know she had this much rage inside. He didn't know *anyone* who had this much rage. He didn't know how he'd inspired it in *her*. Suddenly he heard Jay snarl, and looked up, seeing a knife suddenly materialize in the kid's hands. **Where the fuck--** Quicker than thought he pushed Trin away, pushed her into Mandy's arms, and stood. Mandy dropped the phone, mouth open. "Amanda," he said heavily. "Take her out for coffee. I'll pack up, I'll leave, I'll go. We can talk later...if there's anything left to talk about." Mandy nearly nodded before Trin launched herself at him again, screaming, calling him names he only partially understood; he'd never been fluent in Spanish, only Russian. He held her off, his muscles straining, and made sure his back was always to Jay. Jay, and his deadly little knife. No, he couldn't think about that. He pushed her again towards Mandy, who by now had picked up the phone, looking as if she was debating hanging it up or not. Great. Indecision and insanity, and the boy with the blade. **How do I get myself in these situations?** He gestured to Mandy to open the door with a head toss, and for that moment, his attention was off Trin. She tackled him, pushing him to the floor, putting her hands around his throat. "Fucker," she hissed, "you never...you couldn't...I loved you...fuck...*idiota*..." The room grew dim as he fought to pry her hands from his neck, and he saw Jay rise up over him, raising the knife. No. Couldn't have that happen, not today. He kicked out, snap-kick to the side from the floor, knocking Jay's legs out from under him. "Motherfuck!" the kid screamed, and went down. That distracted Trin, at least enough for him to pry her hands away from his throat, and he bucked her off of him, kicking her for good measure. He coughed until tears sprang to his eyes, oxygen surging into tissues starvd for it. He staggered to the door, sending Trin out by force, sending Mandy after her, and locked the door. Trin pounded and kicked and screamed for a good few minutes, before Mandy convinced her to leave. Bob leaned weakly against the door until he was sure they were gone. He reminded himself, again and again, to breathe, to keep breathing, to breathe slowly. Holy fuck. What had he ever done to Trin that made her freak that badly? He couldn't think of anything. She wanted a monogamous relationship? Then why was she sleeping with Mandy? Or maybe she just wanted him monogamous with her. That was fucked up. Shaking his head, still coughing, he walked through the house quickly. The kitchen was a loss--apparently she'd been breaking dishes for a while. And she'd done some work on his clothes, too--all of his shirts were rags, his pants twill and wool ribbons. He stood for a moment, looking at the wreck of his closet, his head reeling. **Good thing I didn't have a pet,** he thought, swallowing. He looked around. She'd left the drawers untouched, which was something, at least--he had several pairs of old sweats and old t- shirts, and all his socks and underwear. Okay, that would work. He packed a couple gym bags with what was left, and sent Jay downstairs with them to the cab he hoped was still by the curb. He made quick work of packing the rest, sending a case of bathroom gear down with Jay while he carried down comics boxes, two at a time. Finally, it was down to his computer, which he carried down to the cab himself, and a few boxes of books, notebooks, and CDs. Everything fit in the trunk save for one box of books, all poetry, which Bob set next to the driver. He looked around the house, eyebrows raised. They'd been there fifteen minutes, all in all. Fast fucking fifteen minutes. But it was okay. He'd leave her with the wreck of his clothes, the wreck of the kitchen, all the furniture and a boyfriend complex. He thought that might even out for the hysterical bruises and scrapes he was left with. And the bruised throat. Last circuit of the house complete, he walked away, leaving the door unlocked. As they emerged from the shadow of the overhang, he flinched back. Trin stood next to the cab. **Oh, what the hell *now*...** "Rob--" she said, her eyes full of tears she hadn't shown earlier. He looked over her shoulder at Amanda, who shrugged. "She wanted to come back. I told her no. Is everything--" He nodded, weary to his bones. "Everything she didn't destroy, I have," he said, the effort to speak monumental. His voice was cracking, hoarse, and it hurt to talk. "She can have the rest." Trin surprised them all by bursting into tears, skin going almost instantly red. "Did--did--did you," she hiccupped, "did you ever--ever--love me?" He thought about that, staring at his shoes. Had he ever really loved her? At the beginning of things? In the middle? Was that what all this was from? "Once, maybe," he finally said. He couldn't lie. "When we met. I loved--the things you said. I loved--" He looked up, and the look in her eyes burned away the rest of his words. But she looked away first. "I--hope he's what you--need, Robert," she said, and fled upstairs, muffling her wails with the back of her hand. Amanda looked at him in confusion, in frustration, and ran upstairs after her. Quietly, he motioned Jay into the cab, sitting beside him, and shut the door. Tired from the effort, he pulled the Science Fair paperwork out of an inside pocket of his trench, and scribbled an address on the back of it. He forked over two twenties and the paper, leaning against the back seat. *My feel for you, boy, is decaying in front of me Like the carrion of a murdered prey And all I want is to save you, honey Or the strength to walk away* As the car pulled away into traffic, Jay scooted across the cab's back seat, curling up next to him. The knife had disappeared again. Bob didn't want to know where. The boy's eyes were wide, and he looked twitchy and nervous, but feeling Jay's warmth against him comforted Bob, on some level he was completely unready to analyze. Not speaking, he looped an arm around those narrow shoulders, holding him close, and concentrated again on breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. After a few moments of silence, Jay looked up, stroking Bob's face to get his attention. After a few minutes, Jay looked up, speaking softly. "Where we goin' now, baby?" For once, Bob didn't have the strength to protest. "My sister's place," he croaked. His sister's. Back to family's unsafe arms. What else was left? At least, he'd be able to figure out what was going on with Tony. *And all I want is to save you, honey Or the strength to walk away* END (Song is "Carrion" by Fiona Apple. Words taken from the song, not the words on the album notes. And the snippet Jay sings in the shower is "Moment of Weakness", of course, from Bif the Great and Powerful. Who apparently has a new video out with WWF wrestlers!) ***** Kelandris the Mad let me know the way, before there's hell to pay (fiona apple, "criminal")