Title: High School Never Ends Author: Atomic Chronic (robot_panda_of_love@yahoo.com) Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob Archive: hells yes!!! Rating: R to NC/17 depending on what you find offensive. drug use, sex, mild violence, and one wild drunk teenage party where most of this occurs. Also, Bob talks a lot. I figured, maybe he wasn't always so silent. And the song of course is "High School Never Ends" by Bowling for Soup. Summary: This story takes us back to a day in the life of the teenaged Jay and Silent Bob, as well as some other well-known Askew characters. Author's Notes: Yes, I'm nervous. Most of you on here are like slash gods to me. So please be nice, this is my first Askew fic EVER. ======================================================================= High School Never Ends by Atomic Chronic *Four years you think for sure That's all you've got to endure All the total dicks All the stuck up chicks So superficial, so immature* The bleachers that surrounded the football field seemed a most unlikely place for Henry Hudson High's two most notorious drug dealers to hang out before and after school, but Jay and Silent Bob pulled it off pretty well. They spent most of their time underneath the bleachers, selling weed and shrooms to all their regular customers. Today they had a lot more business than usual, because it was Friday and Julie Dwyer was having a huge party at her house that night, to which Jay and Silent Bob weren't invited but Jay fully intended to crash. Silent Bob didn't care one way or the other if there was a party that night. All he really wanted to do was spend time with Jay, who was now practically living over at Bob's place. Bob personally didn't like parties, only attended them because Jay dragged him along. And then, when they got there, Jay would find some girl with unnaturally large (probably stuffed) tits and desert him, leaving Bob at the mercy of people he barely knew coming up to him trying to talk to him about stuff he cared nothing about. The end of the night usually resulted in Bob dragging a drunk and/or stoned Jay back to Jay's mom's place. Even though he hated taking Jay there, he couldn't take him back to his place, not when Jay was drunk and yelling in his sleep. Suddenly a burst of music rang out around the football field, making Bob jump a little. Jay, who'd been hanging from one of the bleachers, looking moody and bored, brightened up, grinning widely now. "Aww, yeah, cheerleading practice!" he shouted. "C'mon Lunchbox, we gots ta' get up there. My woman's here and she wants me to see her shake her thang for me!" Jay punctuated the last part by rubbing his ass against Bob's leg, smacking it for effect. "Cmon ya tubby bitch, let's go let's go!" And he climbed up to the front of the bleachers and stood there, mouth agape, watching the cheerleaders. The one he'd referred to as "My Woman" was none other than Kristina McConnelly, head cheerleader and one of Bob's Algebra tutorees. Jay had been practically stalking her since the first day she'd come to the library during school so that Bob could help her pass Algebra, for the express purpose of her being able to stay on the cheerleading squad. And Kristina was nice enough, at least she was during the tutoring sessions, but the fact remained that she was a cheerleader, and he and Jay were...well, maybe not outcasts, but nowhere near the popular crowd. Bob didn't have the heart to tell Jay this, though...the boy had it hard enough, he didn't need anyone to make it worse. *Then when you graduate You take a look around and you say HEY WAIT This is the same as where I just came from I thought it was over Aw that's just great* "Yeah, c'mon baby, shake that ass for me, fuck yeah," Jay was saying now, as he watched Kristina lead the other cheerleaders in a dance to some Bon Jovi song. "Damn Lunchbox, I cannot fuckin' wait for that party tonight. I know for a fuckin' fact that Kristina's gonna be there. I am so gonna get to third base with that girl tonight, you don't even fuckin' know." Bob just rolled his eyes and took a drag off his cig, as he always did whenever Jay was rambling like this. Mostly though, he was thinking about how bad he didn't want to go to this party now. Kristina would probably be coming with Garrett Ryerson, the quarterback of the football team, and Bob wasn't entirely looking forward to beating Garrett within an inch of his life if he even so much as looked at Jay cross-eyed. Then everyone would be blaming him for a shitty season, which Bob did not need. *C'mon, Jay,* he thought at his best friend as the younger blond boy continued to drool over the cheerleaders. *Let's just stay in tonight, get high, watch movies, maybe invite Brody over or something. Anything but go to this party. Anything.* And somehow, Bob didn't know how Jay pulled this off most of the time....Jay looked over and sensed what Bob was thinking. "What you mean you don't wanna go to the fuckin' party?" Jay nearly snapped at Bob. "Dude, there's gonna be pussy out the ass there, even you might get some tonight." Bob raised one eyebrow and gave Jay a look that plainly said, *Little boy, I get two for every one you get, and don't you forget that.* It had been known to happen. Jay rolled his eyes this time. "Yeah, yeah," he replied. "Well I'm goin' Tubs. I don't care what you or anyone else says. I am goin' to that fuckin' party, and I'm gonna get me some sweet cheerleader pussy. And you can give me those big brown pouty eyes all the fuck you want, it won't do any good." Jay nodded, then returned to his own little version of the dance the cheerleaders were doing. When it was finished, he yelled, "Yeah, that was the shit, yo! Kristina, you so fine!" The cheerleaders gawked at Jay like he'd just sprouted another head, then looked at each other and, predictably started giggling. Jay didn't notice this, or if he did, decided to ignore it. "Yo play some Anthrax or somethin', shit!" he yelled. Bob sighed heavily. This was gonna be a long day, and more than likely an even longer night. *The whole damn world is just as obsessed With who's the best dressed and who's having sex, Who's got the money, who gets the honeys, Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess* * * * By the time the bus dropped them off in Julie's neighborhood, Jay was practically vibrating with excitement. Bob didn't think he'd ever seen Jay so jumpy over a party before. They'd been to millions of them, it seemed by now. This could only mean that Jay really, really liked Kristina, which was starting, strangely, to make Bob physically ill. Tonight was definitely not going to be fun. Jay was either going to get his heart broken, or Bob was, if hell froze over and Kristina actually gave Jay the time of day. Bob shook his head, not even wanting to think about the latter. His feelings for Jay, which rivaled Area 51 in the secrecy department, were on the verge of bursting out of him, and if he saw Jay take Kristina into some back room at Julie's...fuck, who knew what could happen? Along the way they met Brody and TS, who were actually invited to the party. Brody seemed even less thrilled about it than Bob did...knowing him, he'd rather be at home re-organizing his comic book collection in chronological order or something. At this point, if he'd suggested it, Bob would have almost been happy to help him, rather than go to the party. TS, it seemed, had the same agenda that Jay did...he was supposed to meet some girl named Brandi there. "Did you guys hear about that Hicks kid today?" Brody said as they walked the last block to Julie's. The party was already in full swing, it sounded like...they could hear it from where they were. "Who, that Dante guy?" TS asked. "Yeah, him...apparently he got caught beating off in the bathroom during second period," Brody said. "Principal walked in on him and everything. From what I heard, the little latch on the stall door was broken or something, and he was just standing there in the stall with his pants around his ankles just going to town when Hargreaves came in. He's got Saturday detention for like the rest of his natural life. My cousin Randal told me." "Yeah right," Jay snorted. "No one's stupid enough to beat off in the bathroom at school. That's what the showers in the locker room's for." Bob, TS and Brody all stopped in their tracks and stared at him. "Oh what, like you never tried it," Jay grumbled. He walked about a foot in front of them the rest of the way to Julie's, though. By the time they arrived, it didn't seem to matter who was invited and who wasn't. People were just showing up. Jule's parents were sure to have heart failure by the time this was over, Bob thought. They made their way through the overcrowded living room. Ozzy was blasting on the stereo, and everyone seemed to have a plastic cup overflowing with foamy keg beer. Jay, looking around, grinned over at Bob. "What'd I tell you, Lunchbox? And you wanted to stay home tonight." He still did, but of course, didn't vocalize this. At least he didn't see Kristina anywhere. He caught Jay nodding at someone, and looked to his right, seeing a very wasted Willam Black in a corner of the living room. Bob followed Jay over to Willam and the rest of his friends, burnouts who made even Jay look straight-edge. After selling a few quarter bags of Jamaican Red Hair, Bob walked toward the kitchen to get beers for himself and Jay. And when he entered the kitchen, he saw her...Kristina. And she was crying. Leaning against the kitchen counter with her back facing the kegs and crying. Dammit, Bob thought. Maybe he was just too sensitive for his own good, but there was no way he could stand there and just ignore a girl while they were sobbing their eyeballs out. Tentatively he approached her, tapping her shoulder gently. "You all right?" he asked her softly. She turned to face him and started wiping at her eyes almost frantically. "Oh...hey, Bob," she said, trying to steady her shaking voice. "You having a good time? I didn't know you knew Julie." Bob shrugged. "Sorta," he replied. "You don't look like you're having fun, though." Kristina exhaled fiercely. "My stupid boyfriend's been cheating on me," she said. "I caught him today after cheerleading practice with Caitlin Bree. But it's my fault, I guess. I mean, I told him I wanted to wait, you know, before we do anything, so it was just a matter of time." Bob shook his head. "It's not your fault he's an asshole." "Yeah, well, you may not know this, but when you're a cheerleader, you're a living breathing contradiction," Kristina replied. "You have to keep up the appearance of the innocent little virgin, but when your boyfriend's the quarterback and you don't have sex when he says he's ready - which is usually by the second or third date - you just have to accept the fact that he's gonna fuck around on you with whatever comes around." Kristina sighed again, fresh tears running down her face. "Well, if you ever need to talk, I'll be there," Bob said, before he could stop himself. "Thanks, Bob," Kristina said. And then she did something he wished she hadn't...she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before sashaying back into the party. Concentrating on making his face feel less hot, Bob grabbed the two cups of beer and turned around to leave the kitchen...and almost bumped into Jay, whose face and eyes were a literal stormcloud of rage. Bob opened his mouth to say something...and Jay decked him right in the forehead. "Fucker!" he yelled as Bob hit the ground, beer spilling all over his trenchcoat. *And you still don't have the right look And you don't have the right friends Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends High school never ends* "Hey, FIGHT!" Bob heard someone yell. And like a heard of hungry orcs, Bob heard a stampede making its way to the kitchen to watch Jay and Silent Bob duke it out. Soon there was a crowd around them chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" Jay and Bob ignored them, Bob still splayed out on the floor in a daze, Jay's fists clenched at his sides, breathing hard and glaring down at Bob. Before things could get any more out of hand, Brody and TS were at their sides. Soon they were dragged outside, Jay flailing and kicking and yelling insults at Silent Bob the whole way. Bob just let himself be dragged, even though he really just felt like running away. He'd known things were gonna go wrong tonight, but this hadn't been what he'd envisioned, not by far. Right after TS and Brody went back inside, not without parting warnings to the boys to not kill each other, Jay started stomping across the backyard, away from Silent Bob. "Jay," Bob started, but then Jay whirled around, and the tears in his eyes made Bob lose all words. "Don't, motherfucker, don't you even talk to me after what you did." Jay outstretched his arm, pointing an accusing finger in Bob's direction. "It wasn't-" Bob tried again, but Jay, of course, interrupted him. "You just had to ruin it, didn't you Tubby?!" he was almost screaming now. "You just had to fuckin' ruin the one chance I had with Kristina. As if my life ain't shitty enough, my best fuckin' friend goes and fuckin' betrays me over some pussy." "Jay, shut the fuck up and listen!" Bob yelled. Miraculously, it did the trick, and Jay went quiet. "I wasn't trying to steal her from you," Bob said. "I went to get us beer, and she was crying, and I asked her what was wrong. Maybe if you weren't so concerned with getting baked all the time, you would have been the one to go in there and be the hero. So don't blame me if I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and showed consideration for someone other than myself." "Yeah so that's why she kissed you, right?" Jay shot back. "You're full of it." And he turned, stalking away until he came to a large oak in the backyard which was the home to a pretty huge treehouse. Jay looked up, then glared over at Bob again, and climbed the wooden ladder attatched to the tree trunk, entering the tree house and pulling the curtain that was supposed to be the door shut. Sighing, even though now he felt like screaming with frustration, Bob walked over to the tree. "Jay, get outta there!" he called up. "Fuck no!" came the reply. "I'm just gonna come up there," Bob replied. "And before you say anything, wiseass, yes, it'll hold us both. So unless you want people to think we're gay, get down from there and let's put this bullshit behind us." No answer. Bob counted to ten in his head, then sighed yet again. "Okay, I warned you, I'm coming up now," he said. Tentatively, he climbed up the ladder and crawled into the "doorway' of the treehouse. The first thing he saw was Jay, who had his back to the entrance, looking out the small window at the house below. The light shining from the house and the back patio illumiated Jay's blond hair, making it almost glitter. Bob sat down next to Jay, who scooted away. Not this time, little one, Bob thought. He grabbed Jay's arm and pulled him closer. "The fuck you want?" Jay asked sullenly. Now his voice was shaking, like Kristina's had when she'd been crying in the kitchen just moments earlier. "I just wanna say, I'm sorry," Bob said. "I was just trying to help her, not steal her from you. You should know by now that I'd never do that." Jay nodded. "Yeah," he said, rubbing his eyes roughly. "S' just....fuck, you're gonna think I'm so gay if I say this." Bob shook his head. Jay glanced at him, a strand of blond hair falling over his right eye. As if it were a reflex, Bob reached out and brushed it away gently, running his fingers through it for a second before pulling away. Jay shivered slightly at the physical contact, then continued. "I just...I didn't really mind so much that she kissed you," he was almost whispering now. "But you were...you were talkin' to her, Bob. You don't never talk to me, and you were talkin' to her like you known her as long as you known me, you know? And I...couldn't handle that. So that's why I hit ya. I just said it was 'cause of her kissin' ya cause...well, you know." So Jay was jealous of the fact that Bob had been talking to Kristina? Now Bob was confused. Why would Jay be jealous of someone else getting attention from Bob? Maybe...could it be that he like Bob too? "I felt like, here's one more person in my life who's just gonna walk out on me, just gonna get sick of me and sooner or later, I'm gonna be alone, with no one but my drunk whore of a mom who don't care about me to begin with," Jay was saying now. Sometime while he'd been talking, he'd moved so that he was sitting inbetween Bob's legs, the back of his head resting on Bob's chest. "And if I don't got you....I dunno how long I'm gonna last." Bob looked down at Jay, his hand holding Jay's chin and moving his head up so that he could look into Jay's eyes. "Listen to me," he said softly. "I will never, ever leave you. And if you think what you just said sounded gay, that's nothing compared to this." Bob took a deep breath, gearing up to bare his soul to the boy he'd loved since grade school. But Jay didn't give him time to say what he'd been aching to say for so long...because right when Bob had been about to open his mouth, Jay moved in and kissed him softly and sweetly on the lips. Bob's heart was beating so fast he felt like his chest was about to explode outward. But he held steady, kissing Jay slowly, trying to make this moment last for as long as it could, because who knew how long that would be? His fingers ran through Jay's long blond hair, and then Jay's mouth opened against Bob's and his tongue slipped into Bob's mouth. Bob sucked on Jay's tongue, his dick getting harder and harder by the second as his hands, his lips, his tongue explored Jay, as his ears tuned in to the sound of Jay's sweet little gasps and moans. He grabbed Jay's hips, turning Jay around so that he was facing Bob, and fought back a moan as he felt Jay's hardness graze against his own. It was amazing, through all those layers of fabric, they could still feel each other. Jay slowly pulled his shirt off, and Bob almost came when he saw all the smooth, pale skin in front of him. His hands grabbed for Jay and he kissed passionately down Jay's neck, stopping only to nibble and suck so that he could hear Jay moan over and over again. "Mmm...ooohhh God, Bob...." Bob's tongue slid down to Jay's chest, and he teasingly licked at one of Jay's nipples. Jay yelled, tossing his head back, his hand frantically unzipping his pants. Bob did the same, and soon both their cocks were out and rubbing against each other skin to skin. They moaned together, and Bob captured Jay's soft lips again. Soon after, though, Jay broke away, staring at Bob with wild, stormy hazel eyes. "Fuck, Lunchbox," he breathed. "You gotta let me....hold on..." And before Bob could try to figure out what Jay was talking about, Jay was positioning himself so that he was laying on the floor in front of a still-sitting Bob, his head at dick-level. His tongue snaked out to lick lightly around Bob's head, then in circles around the shaft. Bob's eyes crossed, then rolled to the back of his head, which thudded against the treehouse wall. How the hell was Jay so experienced at this? Maybe that wasn't for him to know. But either way, the boy knew exactly what the fuck he was doing. And suddenly, his dick was all the way inside Jay's mouth, hugged tight around Jay's throat muscles, lost in wet hot pleasure. Slowly he began thrusting into Jay's ready, eager mouth, moaning as softly as he could manage. "Oh fuck...oh God, Jay that feels so fucking good..." Jay's hands were under Bob's shirt now, rubbing his lower back gently, almost lovingly. Bob knew that there was a 99.9 percent chance that Jay would have a case of selective memory regarding all this tomorrow. But for now, Bob's brain gave way to the thought that Jay really did love him, just as much as Bob loved his Jay. And he didn't want to waste this one chance to make Jay his, to go all the way with the boy who made him actually want to get up every morning. Jay, who made every day a strange, wonderful, intoxicating adventure. Quickly, before it was too late, he pulled away from Jay's hungry mouth, and pushed Jay down on his back on the treehouse floor. Growling, Bob stripped Jay of his pants and boxers, throwing them across the treehouse. Jay's eyes were wide, and he bit his bottom lip as he watched Bob strip out of his own jeans and underwear. Neither of them had lube, so Bob had to make do with spitting in his palm and coating his dick with as much of it as possible. "Bob..." Jay whispered. He laid a finger on Jay's lips. "Shh," he said. "I'll be gentle, I promise." Tenderly he lifted Jay's legs, kissing each muscular calf as he did so, and guided the head of his cock toward Jay's ass. At first he wasn't sure if he'd even be able to get even the head inside...Jay was unbearably tight, and the last thing Bob wanted to do was tear him up inside. Finally, though, the hole gave way, and his head popped inside. Jay shrieked, but didn't try to pull away. "Uhhh..." Bob moaned. Not even Maria, his Catholic school girlfriend from last year, had been this tight. Bob shuddered all over and kept on easing into Jay, inch by torturous inch. And then, Jay moaned loudly. "Ohhh...fuck...Bob, I can't take it anymore....I want you all the way inside me, c'mon. I don't care if it hurts...I WANT it to hurt!" And he lifted his ass and pushed Bob's dick the rest of the way in. "Oh!" Bob gasped, his eyes crossing again. He began thrusting, his hands gripping Jay's hips like handles, feeling like he was going insane every time Jay pushed into him, meeting his thrusts. Their eyes locked, and Bob thrusted harder, pounding Jay into the wood. "Fuck me Bob, fuck me harder, harder!" Jay chanted, his eyes still gazing deep into Bob's. "Need it deeper, babe, c'mon!" But Bob knew he'd seriously injure Jay if he tried to drive in any deeper in this position. He scooped Jay up in his arms and rolled back into the seating position he'd been in earlier, and Jay sank down around him, impaled completely. "Ooooh, fuck yeah," Jay moaned, starting to move up and down now. "You like that, don't ya Bob? You like it when I ride you?" "Ohh...yes....oh my fucking God Jay..." Bob thrust into his lover madly now, gripping Jay's hips harder than ever. He shuddered all over, knowing what was about to happen. He wished he could last longer, he never wanted it to stop, but it was so good....Jay was so good... Fortunately he wasn't the only one. "Bob, oh fuck, oh shit, I'm gonna come...I'm....oh....God....COMING!" Seeing Jay's beautiful cock spurting come all over his stomach, Bob threw back his head, yelling through gritted teeth, and came inside Jay, kissing him desperately and listening to Jay's moans and sighs of contentment. They lay next to each other for an indeterminable amount of time, still naked, Jay locked in Silent Bob's strong arms, lips and tongues laguidly exploring glowing, heated skin....until the screams and sirens brought them back to reality. "Cops! COPS!!!" they heard someone yell. Jay and Bob sat up, looking at each other frantically. "SHIT!" they said in unison. Clothes were found and thrown haphazardly on. Jay scrambled around the treehouse, searching wildly for his black knit cap, which Bob threw at him. He pulled it back on and they exited the treehouse, escaping Julie's party before they had the misfortune of another run-in with that new cop that always seemed to show up wherever they were....some big scary-looking guy who wore this weird straw hat... They ran all the way to the bus stop, then ducked behind the benches as the cop cars sped down the street. Bob hadn't been able to tell if anyone had been in the back of said cop cars, but probably not...people usually got away before the cops could actually catch anybody. Unfortunately, that meant that anyone under the age of 21 caught walking around after eleven o'clock was screwed. So they needed a place to lie low for the rest of the night. Bob looked over at Jay, who was looking at him again. And for a moment, they may as well have been back in that treehouse, naked and sweaty and thrusting.... "My mom's not home tonight," Jay whispered in Bob's ear. Bob had been wrong, he knew now. This had been the best night of his life. And it only looked better from here. THE END!