TITLE: MYSTERY AND CONFUSION AUTHOR: Hazelkerrie RATING: 12 SERIES: Part three of the 'Love and Bluntz' series SUMMERY: Jay talks and Bob shops NOTES: There aren't enough drugs in this world to keep this God damned rabbit out of trouble DISCLAIMER: I own nothing 'cept that damned rabbit and a bottle of cider. Kevin Smith owns everything else. ARCHIVE: If you want to, but archive the whole series and please let me know where its going. Lilly opened her eyes to the morning sunshine and was confused by her unusual surroundings. "What the fuck? How did I... oh," she whispered, the events of the previous night coming back to her. *Jay was screaming in his sleep, having nightmares. He kept calling out a name.. Bill? Bart? Bob, that was it, Bob. Must remember to ask him 'bout that later.* Feeling the vestiges of sleep still clouding her mind and deciding that she needed a visit from the merciful angel of coffee and nicotine, she got out of her chair and headed to the kitchen. Smelling coffee, Jay stirred himself from the blanket of slumber that had enveloped him sometime early that morning. He untangled himself from the bedding and made his way to the kitchen, making the little redhead jump when she turned around to find him standing in the doorway. "Jesus Jay! Scare me to death, why don't ya," she hissed. "Sorry," he replied, "Could I have some coffee? Three sugars." "Bleugh!" she shuddered as she handed the cup to him. "How can you drink it like that?" He just shrugged and took a gulp. ****************************** Bob was wrenched from sleep by the phone ringing. He leapt from his bed and dived into the living room, grabbing the phone on the third ring. "Jay?" he croaked. "Bob? Its Dante. I just wanted to make sure you were OK after last night," came the reply. "Oh," he said, knees threatening to buckle from disappointment. "I'm fine. Sorry 'bout that." "Hey, no problem. Look I've got to go, I've got customers (sigh). If you feel up to it later, stop by. I'll make sure Randall isn't around. Bye." said Dante. The dial tone in his ear, Bob hung up the phone and made his way to the bathroom. ****************************** "So do you have any plans for today?" asked the witch, as she emerged from her room clad in a tight red tee and a long black leather skirt. "Um, I guess I should find a place to stay," said Jay not relishing the idea. "With no money? Good luck with that then," she replied sarcastically. "Look, you can crash here for a while if you want. I'll be glad of the company, and I can make sure those little jerk offs don't come back and try to finish off the job they started on your face." Catching her staring at his bruised face, he began to blush and muttered his thanks. "You can take a shower if you want," she told him. "Fresh towels in the cupboard in the bathroom. Then when you're decent, you can join me downstairs in the store." "What for?" he asked warily. "Your new job in retail," she answered cheerily, walking out the door. ****************************** Bob stood under the shower, relaxing as the hot spray washed over his body. "Jay where are you?" he whispered. Thinking about the dream he had had before Jay ran away, and what he had seen when he had awoken, he felt the familiar feeling of his cock growing hard, "Oh for fuck's sake," he hissed, his hand snaking down to grip the stiff shaft. Finding his rhythm and lost in the sensations of his hand and the hot water, he could no longer still his tongue, "Oh God, Jay, Jay, please. Oh fuck yeah," he moaned. Feeling that he was close, he braced himself against the wall. Pumping a couple more times, he blew his load screaming the blonde man's name. He could feel his strength draining away, like the water from the shower. Sinking to his knees, he began to shake. Tears rolled down his face as he whispered one sentence over and over again, "Please come home Jay." ****************************** Lilly had spent the last hour trying to teach Jay to work the cash register - in between serving customers - without success. "This isn't gonna work," she grumbled. The thin man was sat at the counter reading a book entitled 'Sex Magick', giggling every now and then. "You done any of this shit?" he asked with a dirty grin. "I'm more of a Karma Sutra girl myself," replied the redhead witch. She moved from behind the counter, over to the entrance where she locked the door and put the 'CLOSED' sign in place. Turning around, she tried to sound casual, "So. Who's Bob?" Jay fell off his stool. "W-what?" he croaked, picking himself off the floor. "What did you say?" "Who's Bob?" Lilly answered innocently, "You were calling that name out in you sleep last night." "I don't know what you're fucking talking about bitch!" he said forcefully, "I don't know no Bob, or what ever the fuck you said his name was." "I never said it was a guy," she countered coolly. "I'm not gonna force you to tell me what's going on, but I will find out, one way or another." The little witch watched as Jay's expression went back and forth between despair and anger. Despair won out as he sat back down and put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "It's just I don't really know what's going on. I'm so confused." Lilly walked over to him, and started rubbing circles on his back. "It's OK," she soothed, "Take your time. But you do need to get this off your chest. C'mon, lets go upstairs, I'm in need of caffeine, and we need to talk." ****************************** Having composed himself as much as he could, Bob decided to take Dante up on his offer and headed for the Quick Stop. On the way, he had been asked at least ten times: 'Where was Jay?' and, 'When was he coming back?' The large man only just managed to restrain himself from smashing in faces, and by the time he had reached the convenience store he had begun to tremble . "Hey Silent Bob," called the brunette clerk from behind the counter. "You OK? You look kinda pale." Bob nodded and attempted to control his breathing only to jump in shock as he was tapped on the shoulder. Turning around, he came face- to-face with Randall. "Um, hi," said the video store clerk nervously. "I wanted to apologise for what I said yesterday. I was outta line." The trench wearing man inclined his head and raised his hands to show that there were no hard feelings. "OK. Don't ask me how I managed it, but I've got the afternoon off," said Dante with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning. Turning to Bob, he continued, "you wanna go to the city? I've gotta get my Mom's birthday present." Bob shrugged. And with that, the long- suffering clerk rounded the counter and began to pull Bob towards the door. "Have fun Randall," he called out sarcastically. ****************************** At one o'clock, Jay had finally decided to start talking. He and Lilly sat on the couch eating lunch which the blonde man had prepared; bagels and cream cheese. "So..." said Lilly cautiously. "Tell me about what happened. Does it involve Bob?" "Yeah," he replied sighing. "Me and Silent Bob go way back. I've known him since I was 14, and I've lived with him since I was 15." "Wow, I didn't even live with my parents for that long," interrupted the small woman, "But we're not talking about me. Carry on." Jay sighed again. "Well I've loved him for forever, but I never did nuthin' 'bout it. I was scared of losin' him, he's the closest thing I've got to family," he said, his head dropping down. "I just treat him like shit. Insulting him and making fun of him, whilst running around trying to fuck anything with a pulse. But it never felt right, y'know?" "Jay, honey, it's OK. You don't have to justify yourself to me," said Lilly, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "But I was so fucking nasty to him," countered the thin man, his voice beginning to crack. "I don't know why he kept me around that long. Maybe it was pity. Oh God, I hope not, I'd rather be dead than have him pity me." His eyes began to well up with tears, but he swiped angrily at them. "Anyway, I finally decided to act on my feelings, and I fucked up big time." "What happened that could be so bad?" she asked carefully. "I blew him," he stated flatly. "And that's bad because...?" replied Lilly. "It's bad because Silent Bob isn't a cock smoker like me, he's all about the clam," he said quickly, "when he's got a girlfriend, he gets this stupid grin on his face, and starts dressin' all nice and shit." His face took on a dreamy look, which caused Lilly to smile. "He's not like me y'know, I just fuck and flee. He doesn't do that, he stays faithful for the most part. And he don't even say nuthin' when I start bitchin' 'bout her," he continued. "But now he's prolly lookin' to flatten me with a semi." He handed the girl the strip of photos he was still carrying in his pocket. "That's him." Lilly looked at the pictures, taking in the way that the bearded man was looking at Jay, and smiled again. "He's probably as confused as you. I think you should call him." "What?" shrieked the thin man. "No, no, I can't. I can't talk to him. Not after what I did. He'll track me down and kill me." "You don't have to tell him where you are. Just tell him that you're OK, you hope he is too, and ask if maybe he'd like to calmly talk things through," she replied. "You don't know Silent Bob. Bitch never talks, that's how he got the name," said Jay. "And I don't think I could handle his angry silence." "How do you know he's angry?" the witch asked. "What did he do to make you think he's mad at you?" Jay sat, looking grief stricken. "I didn't give him a chance to do anything. Soon as I realised he was awake, I ran. When he left, I went back and got my stuff and caught a bus here," came the choked reply. "Well you won't know 'til you try will you," she answered. "Come on, we've gotta open up again." and she started for the door, Jay following like an obedient little puppy dog. ****************************** Silent Bob and Dante had been walking around New York City for two hours, and Bob was getting pissed. *This guy shops like a fuckin' woman"* he thought angrily. *Why can't he just go to the stores he knows he wants to buy things in?* "Hey Bob. This is the last store, I promise," called Dante, walking through a door. *That's what you said five fucking stores ago* he thought testily as he followed, only to be smacking the face by the powerful aroma of jasmine scented joss sticks. "Blessed be," came a girlish voice form behind a book case, "I'll be there in a second." "We're just browsing," called Dante. A red-haired girl came round to the front of the book case, followed by a tall blonde mad, as Bob and Dante turned to face them, all four gasped at the same time, and they all stood in stunned silence for a few seconds. Bob was the first to speak. "Jay" he said softly, moving towards the thin trembling man. "No!" screamed Jay, and once again ran from Silent Bob.