Title: No Buzzkill Like the Past - Part 2(/3): First Contact
Author: Mercury Starlight
Rating: NC-17 (Here goes nothing, eh?)
Pairing: J/SB, a definite now, what with the NC-17 and all...
Archive: Please, pretty please?
Disclaimers: Don't own them, don't sue me, etc, etc... Oh, and yes, the 
title to this part was entirely ripped off from Star Trek, but it 
fit. It just fit...besides I'm having a hell of a time titling these 
things...
Warnings: Slash, drug use, extensive Bob thinking, slight Bob denial, 
extreme Jay denial
Notes: Well, here we are, halfway through the trilogy and already 
they're screwing... *shrugs* well, what can you do? *grins* (Well, I can 
think of a few things...)

~First Contact~ 

Silent Bob was still trying to figure out how they had managed to get 
25 people into their apartment. The place was barely big enough to 
fit just Jay and himself, two bedrooms notwithstanding. However, 
there they were, all 25, and the party was raging. Well, at least he 
figured it was. He had retreated into Jay's bedroom about half an 
hour ago, taking a little break from socializing (well, as much 
socializing as one can do without speaking). The whole thing was 
Jay's gig anyway. He was the one ranting for weeks about a 
housewarming party. Bob had tried explaining that you can't throw 
yourself a housewarming party, but to no avail. Bob wasn't even 
really in the mood for a party. He had been thinking about things, 
and was wondering if he shouldn't just do what Jay had wanted to do 
in the first place and go grab Gloria and take her out of the country 
or something. 

It had been three years, and the courts had done nothing. CPS was no 
help, they just questioned her, with her father there. They didn't 
even examine her. (Apparently, someone had lost Jay's case file, so 
the fact that their father had already been established as an abusive 
asshole wasn't even considered.) Glorie called Jay about once a 
week, and wrote letters constantly, both to keep in contact with the 
only family member she really cared about, and to give Jay plenty of 
details, in case the rest of the world wanted to get their shit 
together and actually get her out of that hell-hole. Their mother was 
no help either. She was so heavily in denial she was still angry at 
Jay for "running away" from their little happy family. And now there 
was this... complication. Gloria hadn't written, called, anything, for 
two weeks. Bob was getting worried, and no matter how much he was 
trying to hide it, Jay was getting worried too. But instead of 
actually doing anything about it, Jay had apparently decided to go 
into self-destruct mode instead. The only reason Silent Bob had 
agreed to have this party was that he figured it would be a good way 
to get new customers. He was right, but unfortunately new customers 
meant new blood, and new blood meant all kinds of little treats for 
Jay. He was getting a little tired of watching Jay try every drug to 
cross his path. Bob was pretty sure he had just seen Jay drop yet 
another tab of X when he left in disgust to go play video games or 
something. As it turned out, he just sat on the bed, staring at the 
wall, and wondering why the whole Jay/drug thing was bothering him so 
much.

`He's just being himself. You're not expecting him to be some kind 
of straight-laced Ivy Leaguer, are you? Come on, you toke-up as much 
as he does, if not more. Besides, you're so buzzed right now you had 
to reach for the doorknob twice.' But then the part of his mind he 
had been trying to ignore spoke up, `But smoking a bowl is a little 
different than snorting a fifth. Jay knows how you feel about hard 
drugs, and he knows you don't want him doing them. They're dangerous, 
and they're bad for him, and it's your job to take care of him, 
remember? You're his partner, his best friend, his roommate. And 
you don't want him to get hurt, because you lo-`

He shook the thought away, `Stop it, no I don't. Sure, I care about 
him, but I'm practically a big brother to him, aren't I? Maybe I 
think about him a lot, but that's to be expected, I live with him. I 
might look at him a little too much, or maybe I've watched him sleep 
a couple of times, but it's only because I worry about him,' Then the 
visuals started. *Jay, dancing in the rain...* `How can you not want 
that?' *Shaking his head, letting the water fly everywhere. His 
small frame accentuated by his soaking wet clothes.* `Oh God...' *Jay 
smiling, a gleam in his eye, "Yeah, Lunchbox, you know you want 
this." Laughing, "Dance with me you lazy-ass, tubby mother-fucker! 
Get down! Get into the groove an' shit..." That smile 
again* `Beautiful... oh shit, this can't be happening, I lo... Oh Christ, 
I'll just...'

"I love Jay," he blinked, realizing that he had spoken aloud, "Holy 
Christ, I do love Jay!" Saying it out loud seemed to cement it in 
his mind. The thought terrified him. What did this mean? Was he 
gay? No. It was impossible. He had never, ever in his life had a 
thought like this about another man before. Not once. The thought 
had never even crossed his mind, and now...

The door opened, interrupting his train of thought.

"Y'in here, Lunshbox?" Jay slurred, proof that at least the alcohol 
had kicked in.

Bob said nothing, just waited for Jay to find him in the dim light. 
Jay flopped down next to him, "Where'd you go? I been lookin' 
everywheres for your ass."

He shrugged, giving a nonchalant expression. He gestured to the door 
and shook his head, `Parties aren't my thing.'

"Yeah, I understand, I understand. Sometimes it just ain't real, ya 
know? You gots ta' keep it real, that's for sure.." Jay sighed, 
shook his head slowly, "Man, I am so fucked up right now. His is the 
perfect talking mood, though. You know. When you just gots to talk, 
ya get really fucked up and then you can say anything."

`You do that anyway, Bluejay, why should now be any different?' Bob 
thought, trying not to grin at the mental nickname.

"I was just thinkin' how I haven't heard from my sister in a while, 
and it's kinda' freakin' me out, `cause she usually calls or writes 
or something, an I was just thinking, I wonder if she's ok. I mean, 
I wonder if I should go over there or something, `cause it's kinda' 
worrying me, ya know?"

Bob shook his head, even though he had been thinking the same 
thing, "She's probably just busy at school. You remember seventh 
grade. It always gets a little hectic, she'll probably call 
tomorrow." `Best not to think about the alternatives.'

"Yeah...yeah, you're right. I shouldn't be so worried. You're such a 
good friend, Silent Bob. How long we been friends?"

"Eleven years." `Five months, three weeks, two days...how many hours?'

"Eleven years... shit, that's a helluva long time. How old was I eleven 
years ago?"

"Eight."

"Christ, that really was a helluva long time ago, wasn't it? Jesus�"

Jay wandered off a bit, the drugs making it a little difficult to 
concentrate. When he did come back to earth, they talked about 
stupid little superficial things, laughing about past pranks and 
recalling old glories. They hadn't just sat and talked like this in 
quite a while. About an hour into is, all of Jay's drugs had really 
kicked in, and he stopped making a whole lot of sense, but it didn't 
really matter. Bob was too stoned to carry on too normal of a 
conversation anyway. He was in the middle of a sentence when he 
realized that Jay was staring at him. It was a very strange 
expression, he wasn't sure he had ever seen that expression before, 
in fact. Jay almost looked like he was trying to muster up the 
courage to say something. That was completely unlike him, Jay always 
just blundered into everything, guns blazing. This was very weird.

"What..." Bob half-asked, half-stated. And that was when Jay kissed 
him.

He jumped a little, startled, but he didn't pull away. Hell no. His 
mind was racing, however, even as the kiss deepened.

`What the hell? What is this all about? God, does it matter? Yes! 
Yes, it does matter, does he even know what he's doing? Do you? Oh 
Christ, you're kissing his neck aren't you?'

He was. And one hand was stroking Jay's face, Jay's mouth, Jay's 
warm, wet mouth enveloping his thumb, gently sucking. Jesus, but it 
was erotic. The pad of his thumb pressed against Jay's soft tongue, 
and now Jay was making little noises, slight whimpers as Bob nibbled 
his neck, licked his earlobe. Bob's free hand was roaming, through 
Jay's hair, down his back, under his shirt. The hand moved on, 
around to the front. Bob pinched a nipple and Jay moaned in 
affirmation. The hand trailed down, stopping just before Jay's 
waistband, where it hesitated. Bob stopped and pulled back, looking 
at Jay questioningly.

Jay was shaking, so aroused he could barely speak, but he managed to 
whisper a small, pleading, "Yes..."

Bob pulled his hand back, gave the `wait a moment' sign, and went to 
lock the door. The last thing they needed right now was for some 
drunk moron to come wandering into the room. Jay stayed, sitting 
quivering on the bed, legs over the side. Bob turned around and 
realized at that moment that this beautiful creature was his. This 
frail, gorgeous looking nineteen year old boy was waiting for him, 
wanted him. He got so hard so quickly that he shivered.

He walked over to the bed and stood with his legs between Jay's. He 
ran a finger down that perfect jaw and lifted Jay's head to look at 
those beautiful eyes. Eyes that were at the moment almost green, 
with flecks of yellow and brown. Behind their drug induced haze lay 
lust, want, need...and fear. Bob gave him a small eyebrow raise, `Are 
you sure you want to do this?' 

Jay nodded, albeit hesitantly, and reached out for Bob's hand. Bob 
wrapped his fingers with Jay's and leaned forward to kiss him 
lightly. Jay leaned into the kiss, then pulled back and turned, 
pulling Bob with him, laying his head on the pillow. Bob ended up on 
his side, his chest against Jay's, Jay's arms folded between them. 
They were kissing again, harder, more passionately than Bob thought 
he had ever kissed anyone. That hand was roaming again, and this 
time it didn't hesitate at the waistband. Jay bucked and moaned aloud 
as Bob's hand dove into his pants and grabbed hold of his rock hard 
cock. Bob shushed him, even as he rained kisses onto his neck and 
face. Best not to draw unwanted attention. He pulled his hand out of 
Jay's pants and began unbuttoning them, unzipping them, pulling them 
down with his boxers. 

Jay was shaking so hard now that Bob stopped again and lightly 
brushed Jay's cheek. He spoke this time, in a whisper so quiet he 
could barely hear himself.

"Are you sure?"

"Y... yeah...please...please don't...don't stop," came the breathy, broken 
reply.

It was all the encouragement Bob needed. His hand slid back down 
Jay's chest, Jay's stomach, Jay's abdomen, slowing down the closer he 
got simply to hear Jay whine in protest. When he finally reached his 
destination, Jay moaned so loudly that Bob was sure someone would 
hear. At this point, he no longer cared. He had suddenly developed 
a fierce need to please Jay, at any cost. His hand was moving in 
slow, even strokes, Jay clinging to him now, helplessly whimpering 
into his neck. Jay was beyond gone with ecstasy, both natural and 
synthetic, his eyes squeezed shut as he muttered a string of almost 
incoherent curses, "Fuckfuckfuckfuckofuckofuckofuck Jesus, oh god, 
yes, yes, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck 
ofuck oh fuck oh FUCK OH FUCK!" He practically screamed as he came, 
arching against Bob's hand, his voice breaking. After a few seconds 
Bob realized that his voice had broken because he was crying. 
Sobbing, actually, big heaving sobs against Bob's chest.

`Oh god, what have I done?' was the thought that flashed through his 
mind as he cradled his... friend? Lover? `Shit. Shit shit shit shit. 
This isn't good. This definitely isn't good. I need to be sober... I'm 
not sober... although this is plenty damn sobering... shit shit shit shit 
shit...'

All of this went on while he simply held Jay, whispering words of 
comfort, "It's ok, it's ok... I'll fix it, don't cry Jay, it's ok."

Jay calmed down rather quickly and took a deep, shaky breath, still 
clinging to Bob for dear life. Bob stroked his hair, let the moment 
be silent.

"...Are you ok?" He sounded worried. He was.

Jay nodded, "Just... um... what's that word? Ov...over... overwhelmed. Just a 
little overwhelmed..." he faded out, still very messed up. Bob started 
to get up and he snapped to attention, grabbing Bob's arm, "No!...um...
stay with me, please?"

Bob nodded, running a hand through Jay's hair before getting up to 
turn off the light. Fuck the party, everybody knew their way out. 
He needed to be right here tonight.

He climbed back into bed and cradled the again fully-clothed Jay. 
Jay snuggled deep into his chest, and for a moment it felt like maybe 
nothing had happened. Maybe his dazed mind had made up the whole damn 
thing, and wasn't that a bitch? What a weird fantasy, or maybe a 
weird dream, and Jay was just here because he had a bad dream and 
everything was-

"Silent Bob?"

"Hm?"

"...it was really good."

Bob held Jay tighter, burying his face in billows of blond. `Shit 
shit shit shit shit.'
****
When Bob woke up, he didn't know where he was, for just a moment. He 
glanced around...condom wrappers on the nightstand...tells him nothing... TV...
looks familiar... Star Wars bed sheets...

`Oh... Jay's room...' he pondered for a moment and a realization came to 
him, `...oh.' The realization got stronger, `oh...shit...' He didn't have 
much time to panic, however, because there was a pounding on the door.

"Hey you fucking tubby bitch, get your ass outta my fuckin' bed, we 
got a deal to make down at the mall!" Jay burst into the room, 
wandered over to the bed and started tugging on Silent Bob's 
arm, `The fuck you doin' in here, anyways? I know you want my ass, 
but you could be a little subtle about it...fuckin' queer... how may times 
I gotta' tell you..."

Jay was still babbling, but Bob wasn't listening anymore. He got up, 
walked into the hall, `He doesn't remember...ok...I think this is good...I 
just won't say anything about it...this is ok, I can deal with this...'

Jay got in his face, "Are you fuckin' listening to me, Lunchbox? 
Christ you're so fucking..." they locked eyes for a moment and Jay 
stopped abruptly, turned and walked out the door.

Bob hesitated a moment before following him. His eyes... he had seen it...
Jay knew. He remembered, and he knew, and he was trying to hide it. 
Bob decided he wasn't going to say anything anyway, `If he wants to 
pretend like nothing happened, fine. But I know it happened...he knows 
it happened...this should be interesting.'
**********************************************************************

Ok, there it is, part two finished, part three on the way, probably 
after I go eat something...please R&R, and remember, this is, after 
all, the first time I've actually written any type of sex...(reading 
it is one thing, but writing it...jeez, trying not to make it sound 
cheezy is harder than it looks...)

~*!*~
Mercury