Title: Peppermint Author: Kelandris the Mad Fandom: View Askewniverse, general (post-Dogma) Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob Rating: NC-17, sex and smarm Status: New You must send an email to me and let me know where you intend to archive. Private archiving allowed as long as you don't intend to publish. Behave. Email address for feedback: kel@crazysheep.net Series/Sequel: Damn, the Gold series strikes again. This is part V due to one stupid line. Disclaimers: All characters belong to Kevin Smith and the View Askewniverse. If I really get into this, I probably will too. Or at least go into hock when I walk into a video store, go into rut, and buy all the DVDs at once. Notes: I can't believe no one has thought of this--it's like Jason Mewes' pierced tongue. :> Summary: Bob gets that minty fresh feeling. Warnings: Kissing, m/m sex, mild language warning, adult candy use, spoilers for Dogma. "Peppermint" by Kelandris Jay was hanging garland when Silent Bob arrived home, studiously draping bright glittery green and red lengths over the stereo, across the front drapes, over the kitchen window. What was left of a candy cane was hanging out of Jay's grinning mouth, most of the red stripes already sucked away. "Hey, Bob!" Jay waved a length of garland in his direction. "Merry Christmas and all that shit." Bob raised an eyebrow. In all the years they'd lived together, Jay hadn't seemed to care one way or another about any holiday season, except maybe Halloween. The blond man caught the look and grinned, flipping the last of the garland around the base of a lamp. "Hey, it's not every day you meet God," he said soberly. "Shit, we had angels comin' out our ass there for a while, you know? Guess it restored my fucking faith." Bob nodded, taking off his trench and carefully hanging it up. Sometimes all it took was one simple thing to restore faith in humanity--or in God, for that matter. Not that the end of the world had been a simple thing. He still shivered some nights at how close they'd come to total devastation. If Bartleby hadn't paused when Jay shot off his wings...if Loki had walked into the church instead of getting drunk...hell, if Bethany hadn't figured out where God was, they'd all be toast now. Made him glad to be alive, frankly. Not that he didn't have a whole new reason to love being alive now. He smiled at Jay, taping lights to the front window, humming a carol off-key. Jay, who'd been a steady part of his life for so long it felt like forever. Jay, who'd started a pretty kid and grew into a very handsome man and who, shockingly, surprisingly, seemed as crazy in love with him as Bob was with Jay. Jay, who was running his tongue over the candy cane in his mouth with great, slow relish. Bob felt his breath shudder out of him, walking over to the window. "Took you fuckin' long enough," Jay said. "Get your ass over here, Lunchbox." Bob obligingly stepped forward, drinking in the sight of Jay wanting him, letting it fill his heart in a way all the tinsel and blinking lights in the world couldn't do. The blond grabbed him, planted a sweet minty kiss on his lips, then relaxed his hands, letting them wander. He pushed up Bob's shirt, his fingers tweaking Bob's nipples lightly, and Bob moaned, tangling his hands in that incredible hair. Again, he thanked whatever hidden impulse he'd had to braid Jay's hair that day. Then he stopped thinking as Jay's nimble fingers dipped beneath his waistband, massaging his swelling cock. Slowly the younger man dropped to his knees, shoving Bob's sweatpants down, taking out the candy cane and running the wet end over the sensitive head. Then his mouth replaced the confection, and Bob had to fight back a yell, as well as lock his knees. The mint in Jay's mouth made his skin tingle, going just slightly numb. One hand grabbed the window ledge, lights pulsing a sparkling rainbow over the skin. The other latched on to the top of the stereo, as Bob fought to keep from screaming. He couldn't stop the whimpers, though, or his hips from thrusting into that wet, seeking mouth. Jay laughed, the sound vibrating through Bob like a bell. Jay's hot breath would soothe him, then Jay would inhale and cold air would rush across his cock, making the muscles in his legs and buttocks spasm. Bob shuddered and twitched, afraid he was going to collapse any moment. He tilted his head back, the moans building, until he finally had no recourse but to speak. "Jay, oh, my fucking God, please, gonna come, gonna come Jay, ah, don't stop, oh, *fuck*..." Thrusting mindlessly now, his eyes wide and unseeing, he fucked Jay's sweet mouth, while the younger man grabbed his hips, taking all of him he could, sucking hard. And Bob came, screaming, shuddering, collapsing, in a limp heap next to Jay. Jay just smiled, stroking his hair, then got up. Bob felt a slight resentment about that--**Bitch, I can't *move*, and you're just gonna stroll across the room like it's no big thing?**--until he saw what Jay was walking across the room *with*. Grinning like a fool, he handed Silent Bob a candy cane. Bob stood unsteadily, taking the offered sweet. "C'mon, Lunchbox, help me hang the lights. And then after..." His voice trailed off as Jay nuzzled into his neck, nibbling alone the line of his jaw. Bob unwrapped the cane with a fierce grin on his bearded face. *After*. Oh, yeah. Boy was never gonna know what hit him. Merry fucking Christmas, indeed. END *****************