Title: Sex With You Author: Kelandris the Mad Fandom: View Askewniverse Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob Rating: Songfic and NC-17 for active, active boys Status: New Archive: The traditional places. If you don't know what the traditional places are, you might want to write and ask. And here's how: Feedback: kel@crazysheep.net Series/Sequels: Gods, I hope not. This should be a one-shot little PWP. Disclaimers: Kevin Smith, View Askew Productions, Jason Mewes, Scott Mosier, and Miramax have creative control and ownership of Jay and Silent Bob. I am just an insignificant slasher who wants the boys to have fun now that they've retired. I'm not even charging them. Notes: Weird one. I went on this King Missile kick about two weeks before the drive cut out. So I'm in the middle of trying to design a logo for the Upstairs Peoples' new business, and being completely frustrated at that, and have "Antichrist Superstar" cued up on repeat for music. And I had to take a break, and I started to crawl through the stuph I'd set aside as Jay-head material, and this one popped out at me. And for some reason, it's now Bob-head material, and deeply, deeply strange. I've never had a boys-tackling-each-other piece, and starla says it's common. For that matter, so does Luna. Maybe I have tamer Muses? Summary: Jay asks Bob what he wants. Warnings: Homosexuality, rampant thrusting hips, maybe even rampant thrusting. Jay being a complete ditz. Bob being confused. References to drugs and girls and the round sacred flat food. (That last mention's for starla, who loathes the round sacred flat food.) "Sex With You" by Kelandris *sex with you is all I want* "Bob?" The dark man looked up in time to have his arms suddenly full of live squirming blond, and he didn't have time to blink and react before the blond was arching against him, moaning like a cat in heat, grinding his hips against Bob's in frenzied affection. "What?" he finally gasped, and Jay laughed in his face. "Man, Lunchbox, you are fuckin' *slow* today. I ast you if you wanned pizza or somethin'." *sex with you and sometimes food is all I really want* Right. Food. Right. His skin still tingled with sudden, unexpected want, and he shook his head a little to clear it. He laid the comic down carefully by his side, closing the cover he hadn't had time to close before. "I--" he began. That was all he was allowed to say. *sex with you and sometimes food and maybe a movie or a play is all I really want today* Mashing his lips down on Bob's, the blond parted them with practiced ease, sucking Bob's tongue into his mouth and beginning to moan again. He thrust his hips forward and soon the larger man was panting into his open mouth, holding him as close as he dared, kissing him back. The moans were building in his own throat when Jay pulled away for the second time. Bob's eyes were burning with the beginning of a frustrated need, and he just watched Jay, breathing hard. "Or maybe we could go catch that flick, you know, the Die Hard guy. That'd be cool." As calmly as he could, Bob shrugged. "Whatever," he said, and Jay cocked his head. "Aww," the blond said, pursing his lips. "Tubby don't wanna go out right now. Tubby wants ta bone his roommate, *hard*. Don't he?" *sex with you and sometimes food and maybe a movie or a play and sleep, but not too much at all, is really all I want* Bob nearly growled at that, but carefully shrugged again, looking at Jay. Jay watched him for a moment, then shrugged himself. "Well, if you don't want any o' this action," he said, and got up. He walked towards the kitchen, and two steps away from Bob, he looked over his shoulder, cocking his hip. He smiled. That was all it took for Bob to rise and tackle him. *sex, food, movie, play, sleep...* Bearing him down to the floor, Bob was already stripping the pants down his hips. By the time they hit carpet, he'd flipped Jay over and Jay's pants were at his knees. Jay's mouth was a wide, happy O and his eyes were wider, and then they glazed over as Bob grabbed his t-shirt (sparing a moment to make sure it was not one Jay adored, and it wasn't) and tore it cleanly down the middle. He pounced on the expanse of pale revealed skin, licking from Jay's belly to the hollow of his neck, and Jay arched off the carpet, yelling his name. Bob only smiled, capturing a nipple and unfastening his own pants, knocking Jay's hands aside when they dove for his crotch. Jay was moaning and writhing beneath him, his hands clawing down his back, and not for the first time Bob was glad he was still wearing his leather in the apartment. But now he shrugged out of it as he kicked off his pants, glad he'd kicked off his shoes and socks earlier, because he'd need the traction gripping toes provided if his boy got any more active. "C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon," Jay chanted. "Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck--" One large spatulate hand dug into a side pocket of the trenchcoat, now piled next to him, pulling out a large bottle of lube. He watched the sheen of sweat on Jay's narrow face as he parted Jay's legs, pouring on the lube as he sent finger after finger into Jay to open him up, widen the entry point, ready Jay for him. Halfway through Jay began thrusting his hips up to meet his fingers, trying for more, trying to get more of him in. Jay's mouth was still moving, but Bob was pretty sure he was past recognizable English words. One hand pushed back one of Jay's legs, while the other grabbed his hard cock and guided it between Jay's ass cheeks, pushing against anticipated resistance. Bob watched the blond's face, watched the lust overflow in Jay's eyes, making them burn like propane flames on a gold brick. Jay's hands pulled at him, pulled at his sides, hooked into claws and clawed at him. He'd have a few scratches bleeding after this. Like he fucking cared. Bob grinned, breathless, and pushed inside, listening to Jay howl his approval. The blond grabbed him, pulling him down, pulling his face down to his to kiss it, lick along Bob's jaw, whisper babbled whimpered things against his ear and throat. And Bob was with him, kissing him back, licking along the line of the arched throat, curving to gently bite the nipples on the flat chest, earning more cries and screams from his boy. He thrust in, hard and rapid, and Jay's heels drummed against his back, in between the times where he was nearly crushed by Jay's thighs squeezing him, pulling him deeper, pulling him inside. "Harder harder harder God fuck me God fuck me Bob Bob Bob Bob--" Jay was babbling again, and Bob silenced him with another kiss, another thrust, before rising and kneeling, still inside Jay, and pulling him forward with him. Now Jay was wrapped around a half- sitting Bob, and Bob pulled him down, impaling the blond on his width, his length, and Jay threw his head back, screaming. "Fuck Bobby fuck oh fuck oh fuck your COCK--" he screamed, and Bob just shook his head. Some day, he thought, they were going to get kicked out for noise violations, and then all thought ceased as Jay brought his hands down to Bob's chest, pinching the nipples. He cried out, hands fastening to Jay's hips, pulling him forward, rocking inside him. Jay whimpered, and pinched his nipples again, twisting them this time. Bob roared, driving up inside him, feeling Jay's knees squeeze his sides again, seeing the blond thrash his head from side to side, crying out his name. And he screamed out Jay's, spurting helplessly inside the thrashing blond, while Jay bit his shoulder. Jay was shuddering and moaning and digging into his sides with his black-painted nails. Jay rocked against him, the moans picking up speed, the shudders increasing, and Bob hadn't even gone soft yet when Jay bucked against him three times, hard, and came, slicking their bellies together with warm fluid. Both men were panting, sides heaving, when Bob slid Jay to the carpet, lying down on his side. For a moment, even breathing was an effort, and then Jay looked at him, grinning quirkily. "Wa...ter," he intoned, batting his eyes. Bob tried to shake his head and only managed a spastic twitch. His arms and legs felt like noodles covered in Jell-O. But he didn't protest when Jay tugged on his arm, and he wearily climbed to his feet. Watching Jay walk away, blond hair pouring unbound down his muscled back, legs still spasming a bit, was good for his ego, and he ambled after. He felt his cock twitch between his legs as he watched Jay's ass, Jay's muscled thighs beneath, slick with lube and other fluids. *shower, a shower with you and some shampoo would be oh so good* The water was warm on Bob's back, but the soap still stung in the long, narrow scrapes that Jay was cooing over. It was so strange to see him this way, this fierce boy in a man's frame. This slight evidence of caring between the rounds of "Fuck me, plaything" and "Fucking fag, what the fuck you want now?" was confusing. Still, Jay was touching him, and he'd had the chance to wash shampoo through Jay's hair, and soap him up--and down--and that had been wonderful. Then Jay had asked him to turn around so he could wash Bob, and that's when Jay saw the scrapes. Still. More than worth it. More than compensated for. Bob's eyes glazed over as he remembered a certain straining blond underneath him, and then he was turned around, and Jay was slipping down his body, a sly smile on his face, slipping to the floor where his half- hard cock still bobbed in the warm spray. Oh, *fuck*...Bob began to whimper when Jay's lips sucked the head of his cock inside his mouth. His mouth, his warm, wet mouth, and now his tongue was moving, tugging on him, flexing, licking him everywhere. The narrow, pointed tip of Jay's tongue was driving him mad, pulling sounds from him, pulling words, pulling his hands down to Jay's wet hair, pulling his head closer as Bob began to yell and thrust and scream. And Jay rose, still smiling, licking his lips. "Bed," he whispered, and Bob didn't need to be asked again. *sex with you and sometimes food and a movie or a play, some sleep, a shower and a shampoo with you is all I really want. really.* END (Song is King Missile's "Sex With You") ********** Kelandris the Mad danger's not my middle name, but `baffling as fuck' might be