TITLE: Shot Through The Heart
AUTHOR: Random (kemarx@swbell.net)
DISCLAIMER: Jay and Silent Bob are owned by Kevin Smith. The rest of the
characters are owned by DC Comics.
PAIRING: Jay/Silent Bob
RATING: R for language
NOTES: Written at 3AM. This is Charles' fault, and he gets my thanks for
the beta read.
SUMMARY: A video game, violence towards cereal, and a house guest.

--

Shot Through The Heart
by Random


"Aw, fuck this shit!"

The sudden exclamation feel on deaf ears. Well, not so deaf, but ears that
were used to such sudden busts of profanity. Jay tossed down the video game
controller and stormed out of the room. He headed for the kitchen, stomping
his feet loudly.

Silent Bob watched his companion leave with a sad smile and plopped down in
the vacated easy chair.

"He is a sore loser, yes?" The question was asked quietly, nearly drowned
out by the banging of cabinet doors from the other room.

Bob tilted his head slightly, the universal signal of "I guess so, but it's
not really my place to say, if I could comment one way or the other on the
matter."

Bob picked up the the abandoned controller, and a new video game was
started. "Heroes Of Today" was the latest game to be developed by LexSoft,
which was immediately sent to Bob for beta testing. Easy money, free games,
and it was usually fun. Jay liked to win, and most of the time Bob let him.
Their visitor, on the other hand, was unaware of the unspoken, unwritten
rules of the house, and had consecutively won six straight games.

"Heroes of Today" was a relatively easy game to play, relying more on
hand-eye coordination than problem solving strategy. Masking itself in the
latest action-RPG craze, a player could chose to be any superhero from
Superman to the Green Lantern, and everyone in between. The object was
simple. Stay alive and kill the bad guys. Never mind that the real
superheroes didn't actually kill anybody.

Bob selected his character, clicking on the Batman icon. The visitor chose
as well, opting for Wonder Woman this time instead of his usual pick of
Aquaman. Jay was always Superman.

Bob cocked an eyebrow at the selection, and the visitor shrugged. "Thought
I'd try someone different," he explained.

The game began, and the players fell into a comfortable silence. The
pixilated Batman whisked across the bottom of the screen as the pixilated
Wonder Woman flew across the top. The first level was easy, and working in
tandem, they made quick work of a pixilated Two-Face in less than five
minutes.

Loud cursing came from the kitchen, as Jay extrapolated why the makers of
Fruit Loops were lying bastards who didn't know how to fuck themselves if
they had their dicks tied to a paint mixer.

This earned a smile from Silent Bob and an indifferent frown from the
visitor. Play resumed, and the second level villain, Blockbuster, was
easily defeated.

Jay's ranting grew louder, which was easily ignorable, until the sound of
glass breaking echoed through the house. Jay made no further noise.

The game paused, and the two players looked at each other with worry.

"We should check on him," the visitor suggested, and Bob nodded with
lackadaisical interest. Moving in unison, Bob stood up from his chair as
the visitor unfolded his legs from a lotus position and lifted himself off
the floor.

Bob reached the kitchen first, and let out a gasp of horror.

Jay sat on the floor, surrounded by a sea of Fruit Loops, with a broken bowl
gathered in his hands. He stared at the bits of blue glass with shock, too
startled to remember to breathe. When he did, it was a hissing rush of
inhaled air, followed shortly by a queasily sighed exhale.

He looked up suddenly, meeting Bob's stare, before whimpering softly, "It
was my favorite bowl."

Bob nodded and stepped through the currents of spilled cereal. He gently
removed the broken ceramic from Jay's hands and inspected each piece. He
raised his eyebrows at Jay, asking the unspoken question of "Do you want me
to glue it back together?" Jay, still stunned into silence, only shook his
head. Bob nodded once and set the broken bowl on the table. He reached
down and picked Jay up, helping the smaller man to his feet. Bob inspected
Jay's hands and pulled him to the sink. Running cool water, Bob neatly
washed the small cut on Jay's finger and quickly bandaged the wound.

In the meantime, the visitor located a broom and swept the Fruit Loops into
a small, tidy mountain of sugar. He swept the cereal back into the box and
dumped the box into the trash can.

Bob pulled down a new bowl and some Frosted Flakes, pouring some more cereal
for the crestfallen Jay.

Finally finding his voice, Jay asked, "Can we get a new bowl tomorrow?"

Silent Bob smiled an affirmative. Nodding resolutely, Jay began to shovel
the sugar-coated cornflakes into his mouth. Bob ran his hand down the back
of Jay's hair, an action akin to petting but different in the amount of
affection shown.

Crisis averted, the players went back to their game-in-progress.

They were near the end of the fourth level before the visitor spoke again.
"Does he know you love him?"

A thin smile stretched across Bob's lips as he concentrated on the
trajectory his pixilated Batman used to fire off a batarang.

"Perhaps you should tell him."

Bob sighed and glared at his guest.

"I am not being a pest!" the visitor protested softly. "I'm
just...concerned about my friends."

Bob, of course, didn't comment. He stared straight ahead, seeming to focus
all his concentration on the video game. The visitor, however, knew he
wasn't being ignored, that this was just Silent Bob's way of telling him
"I'll think about it, so shut up and play before you get killed, or else
I'll have to get Batman to kick your ass."

"Trust me," the visitor said after a moment. "I know what I'm talking
about."

Bob rolled his eyes.

"I do. You'll never know if he feels the same way unless you tell him how
you feel. Experience is speaking, you might want to listen."

Bob narrowed one eye and cocked the opposite eyebrow, the ages-old
expression for "You're treading on thin ice, but I'm going to trust you, and
if you're wrong, I personally will transport you to the moon with my foot."

The visitor nodded, and proceeded to play the video game. Final battle, the
last level. Jay could never seem to get past the final villain, much to his
dismay, and always accused the game of cheating. Then he would accuse his
guest of cheating, which earned him a twisted smile from Silent Bob and a
small chuckle from the visitor.

The visitor, Connor Hawke, AKA the Green Arrow, never, ever cheated. But,
he did like to win.

The pixilated Batman tossed out a full arsenal of electronic blasts which
stopped the pixilated Doomsday in its tracks. Using a complex series of
random button presses, Bob maneuvered his character into a dizzying foray of
kicks and punches, finally zapping out a huge laser to evaporate the stunned
Doomsday.

Connor didn't speak for several minutes as the game ended. Finally, he
said, "Batman doesn't have a gun *that* big."

"'Bout time the motherfucker lost," Jay said behind them, leaning on the
back of Silent Bob's chair. Bob tilted his head up and looked at Jay with
serious brown eyes.

"Jay," he started softly, his voice smooth and liquid. Bob had a powerful
voice when he chose to use it, and the right tone could melt a heart or turn
one to ice.

Jay stared down at Bob with a confused pout, his brow furrowing slightly to
add more endearing characteristics to his young face. "Don't fucking say
it," he warned. "Don't you dare fucking say it."

"I--"

"Shit!" Jay interrupted. "I already fucking know, you tubby bastard. So,
don't say it."

Connor smiled to himself, and stood up. His work here was done, time to
move up the coast and see a man about a...batarang. He grabbed his coat and
had his hand on the door before the soft, almost musical voice stopped him.

"You're leaving so soon?" Bob asked from around Jay's hair, where he'd
pulled the younger man down to sit in his lap.

"Yeah," Connor nodded. "You look like you could use some privacy, and I
have to make a few stops before I go to New York."

Bob nodded, his eyes twinkling. "See you at the next JLA meeting, then."

"Most certainly," Connor grinned and closed the door behind him.


The End...or is it? <g>