Title: So What If I Am?
Author: Jade 
Pairing: J/SB
Rating: PG-13 for cussing and sex talk and guys smoochin'
Archive: Yep. 
Feedback: jade27_al@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Don't own Jay, Don't own Bob. They belong to The Almighty 
Kev, Scotty Mo, Fuckin' Miramax and a whole mess of other people I 
don't wanna name for the sake of being lazy. but the only thing 
that's important is they aren't mine.
Notes: Okei, this came about at work. I was thinking about the 
line "Come with me, I'll show you Saturn." from Courage by Alien Ant 
Farm. I tried to think of a different way than Jay or Bob pointing 
out Saturn in the sky. Then I thought "Sailor Moon" and my favorite 
senshi.. who I later remembered was *not* Saturn, but Neptune. Then I 
remembered the fact that Dic change Zoicite into a chick in the 
American series because Heaven forbid our children learn what's 
really going on in the world, so, yeah. And to tie this all up, Happy 
Belated Birthday ren! And I didn't even kill Bob. *snickergiggle*

* = Bob Thought.. or emphasis. Whatever. You can figure it out. 
You're all bright people.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Silent Bob sat in the living room of his shared apartment watching 
TV. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. A beautiful, *quiet* 
Saturday afternoon. In fact, Bob thought, it's too quiet. Jay's home, 
it shouldn't be this quiet. Something's up. Maybe Jay was still 
asleep...

No, because Bob remembered hearing Jay fixing breakfast earlier.

*Well then, maybe he went to the store to get some more beer.

Why would he do that? That's all we have in the fridge!

Right well.. then where the fuck is he?*

Bob sighed. He'd had his ass planted on the living room couch all 
day. Except when he'd gotten up to go to the bathroom, maybe Jay left 
then..

*No, because he was waiting right outside the door when you were 
finished.*

Bob sighed and hefted himself up off of the couch. The only other 
thing Bob could thing was that Jay had hurt himself and was 
unconscious or something. That was the only other logical explanation 
for why it was so quiet.

Creeping down the hallway, Bob slowly peered into Jay's room. Nope. 
Not there. Nothing there but knotted up sheets and dirty clothing.

Maybe he was still in the bathroom? Bob looked across the hall. No. 
Door was opened, light was off. Well where the fuck did..

Suddenly he heard some clicking and soft words coming from his 
bedroom.

Of course.

Porn.

Why didn't he think of that?

Carefully, Bob opened the door to his bedroom. Sure enough, there was 
the little deviant sitting in the darkened room, smack in front of 
the computer screen. The glow of the monitor making hair shine 
platinum.

"Yeah, that's it.." Jay whispered to the screen. Bob went to comment 
on the hazards of carpal tunnel from typing and jacking off so much, 
but two things stopped him.

One, Jay had headphones on, so he wouldn't have heard Bob anyway.

Two, Jay was watching gay porn. Gay anime porn. Gay, *male* anime 
porn.

All of the sudden Jay turned around and shrieked at the sight of Bob, 
quickly ripping the headphones off and pushing the button on the 
monitor. "Dude I can explain! I can so fucking explain!"

Bob just leaned against the doorframe and listened as his friend 
continued on.

"Alright, so I was fuckin' sitting here watchin' them two 
fuckin' 'cousins'" he made the quote mark sign with his hands, "from 
that fuckin' cartoon on Cartoon Network. You know, the one where the 
chicks are all running around in fuckin' short ass skirts with 
fuckin' powers and shit?"

Bob nodded, even thought Jay had described damn near every anime in 
the world with that one sentence, but Bob knew which one Jay was 
talking about. Sailor Moon.

"So anyways, the fuckin' one with short blonde hair was eating out 
that green haired bitch and I was all like 'Fuck yeah, I knew they 
weren't cousins, fuckin' dykes. I'm gonna see me some girl-on-girl 
action, yeah!' and then like, it was over and it was way too fuckin' 
short and I was still way too fuckin' hard so I went back and looked 
for somethin' else and I found that fuckin' blonde chick from the 
first seasons, You know, Zoicite? It was her and some other dude, 
Kunzite? Whatever, but I was like, 'Fuckin' is fuckin, at least I'll 
see some titties.' But then I clicked on it and FUCK if that chick 
wasn't a dude! That blonde chick was a fuckin' dude! And they were 
all goin' at it moaning and shit and fuckin' and well.. fuck man.. it 
just.. I ain't gay man! You know that!"

Bob nodded again, a small smile dancing across his bearded face. Of 
course Jay wasn't gay. That's why they fucked all the time. Friends 
with privileges. But he'd let Jay keep his little delusion if it 
meant he'd keep getting laid.

"Hey fuck you, you fat faggy fuck! I ain't gay! Fuck you." Jay 
growled and shut off the computer, then stalked out past Bob. Well he 
would have if that fuckin' fat arm wasn't in his way.

"Fuckin' move it or lose it you gay ass bitch. I got better things 
to..."

But the end of that sentence was lost on Bob's lips. Bob's sweet, 
soft lips.

Now one might not think that a kiss is such a big deal, but one of 
Jay's little rules before that first drunk, horny night was no 
kissing. Kissing involved emotions. With fucking you don't have to 
look at the person. When you kiss though, you kind of have to, as 
their face is right there and will undoubtedly be the first thing you 
see when you open your eyes. If you close them at all. Kissing, the 
way Bob was kissing him now, all soft and sweet and shit, it showed 
that he cared.

Exactly what Jay didn't want. Emotions. Or hadn't wanted. Not until 
right now.

This kiss was soft, and light. Bob kept his mouth closed, his lips 
just lingering on Jay's own. The muffled moan from Jay's throat was 
all the encouragement Bob needed though, and he carefully trailed his 
tongue over Jay's lips, almost giddy as the mouth slid opened and 
pulled his tongue in with a strong, wet muscle of its own.

The taste was indescribable. Sugar, pot, lemon, and that everyday 
flavor that made Jay Jay exploded on Bob's tongue. The experience 
quite similar for Jay, only the flavor in his mouth was popcorn, pot, 
Pepsi, and the overwhelming taste of Bob.

Bob slid a hand up into the honey blond hair of his friend as Jay 
clasped both hands firmly at the back of Bob's neck. Both tongues 
playfully battling for dominance as the kiss intensified.

Finally, excruciatingly, Jay was the first to pull away. He looked at 
Bob, a huge grin plastered from ear to ear. "Alright, so what if I 
am?" He pressed right back up against Bob and licked his lower lip, 
that popcorn/pot/Pepsi/Bob taste dancing along his tongue again and 
smiling as the thick arms encircled his waist.

-Jadey in the sky with diamonds.