Title: Stranger Things Have Happened Author: J'Kitty Fandom: Askewniverse Feedback: On list if ya read it, jabinkle@unity.ncsu.edu otherwise Pairing: J/SB (sorta) Rating: Well... some stuff happens, but its not all that graphic, so I'll give it an R. Nc-98 for strangeness. Disclaimer: We must all sacrifice a goat to Kevin. :P Archive: Lemme know where. Type: Strange. Happens After: "What God Hath Wrought" Notes: I'm not even going to pretend to know where this one came from. Hope it doesn't make your brains cave in. Ta! So the winter had taken some getting used to. Getting used to? Hell, some real fucking adjusting. He wondered how many other people had to adjust to their roommate being able to change the TV channels with his mind. To Bob's thinking, it was just unfair. Geez, how was he supposed to compete with wonder-boy when wonder-boy wanted to watch porn? But, like Jay falling into the bathtub while jacking off, or Jay getting arrested at all hours of the day for indecent exposure, Bob had adjusted. After all, it was a lot easier to ask Jay to levitate a beer in from the kitchen than to walk in there and get it. Whatever these powers were, Jay didn't seem to be using them for any particular evil (if you didn't count the time he'd made that woman's shirt go invisible). So Bob kept quiet and took advantage. When the heat of the summer had chased away the freeze of winter, their apartment was a veritable paradise. They didn't have central air, didn't have a window unit' hell, the refrigerator barely worked. But the temperature in the apartment never varied from the sixty-five degrees that the thermometer proclaimed it to be. At least, while Jay was there. He supposed it was a good thing that their 'air conditioning' only worked when Jay was in the apartment, else Bob would have never left. While Jay was like some kind of heat loving exotic plant, Bob was a polar bear. He preferred the cold to the heat anyway, and in the drowse of summer, he hated activity. So occasionally, just to get him out of the apartment, he supposed, Jay would fire the temperature up to about a hundred and twelve. It was only really annoying when he was in the shower. Regardless, it seemed that Jay's little psychic toys had reached their plateau. When Bob started tallying, he began to realize that any sane person would be frightened of Jay, rather than asking him to levitate drinks. Jay could move things lighter than himself with his mind, and he knew things that were going to happen within the next half hour. Occasionally, when he was in a rage, he could start small fires (but he was too tired to move for hours afterward). He also seemed to be able to fix things simply by touching them. (They now had a working dishwasher' it hadn't worked since they'd moved in seven years ago.) And there was the weather thing. He could influence the weather. It seemed to be easier to stop rain or snow than to stop it. And he could make things invisible. Sometimes. With varying qualities (thought Bob grumpily, at their last encounter with the police). The thing that kept Bob from freaking out and running away, however, was the Jay-ness of it all. It didn't seem to phase Jay in the least. He just happily added these things to his repertoire of things he could do. Like picking locks, drinking fifths, and chatting up chicks. Skip forward a couple of weeks to July Fourth. The party of the year was happening over and Pink's place, and they'd been invited. Jay insisted that they attend, even though Bob didn't want to. The argument was settled when Jay braced and strained and lifted him into the shower. So Bob had sighed and decided to go along. 'Man, I'm gonna get some pussy tonight' fuck all them bitches, even that one girl thinks she hates me. Nootch.' The mantra went nearly the same way for a half an hour as they both got ready. Bob mentally sighed at Jay, who preened like a peacock in front of the bathroom mirror. Had the boy put any more effort into his hair, Bob would've called open mating season. Because, like Jay's attitude, Jay's sexiness also hadn't changed with the new abilities. Because, damn, Jay was just sexy. And each and every day, Bob personally thanked God, Metatron, and Rufus that Jay's powers hadn't extended into the mindreading realm. Let's face it, no one wants to peek into their best friend's head and see images of themselves getting fucked senseless. Well. Most people don't. He was never really sure about Jay. All those days waking up with Jay passed out on top of him. He had to wonder if wonder-boy wasn't planning it this way. No time to think about that now, as Jay half pushed, half shoved him out the door. Rolling his eyes, but hurrying all the same, Bob allowed himself to be herded to the bus-stop and loaded into the waiting vehicle. The party, all in all, was just as he had expected it to be. Tons of people (few of whom they knew) and gallons and gallons of free alcohol. Mmm, free alcohol. The good stuff too. Well' he hadn't indulged himself in a while. Two hours later' The world was a happy and fuzzy place. Bob was about as drunken as a person could be while still retaining consciousness. He wasn't particularly worried about it, either. Jay floated in and out of his vision as he danced and whirled to the music. Jay was drunken too. Jay also didn't seem too worried. When the party began to die (and Pink had casually herded all the males and unwilling females towards the exits), Bob found himself as the very drunken guardian of a very drunken Jay. Getting home wasn't as easy as it used to be. He looked down once, and they had been floating about a foot off the ground. Jay had giggled and lowered them immediately. Sometimes, Bob wondered why he was here. When they were only a block from the house, Jay had decided to pass out. Sighing, Bob had heaved him up and staggered more exaggeratedly towards their apartment. _His back is really really funny feeling._ Bob's mind had tried to explain to him that it was probably just Jay's shoulder blades bent into funny positions, but his inebriated common sense told him something was funny wrong with Jay's shoulders. Bob's body, however, was telling him that he was sloppy drunk and had a maximum of fifteen minutes before it decided to say 'the hell with it' and let itself pass out. This was good enough for Bob. Somehow, he managed to get the front door open and both of them inside. Bob sat on the couch, made Jay comfortable, and then passed out on top of him. His last thought was _thirteen minutes' lying bastard body._ The next morning, the sun was bright and beautiful. Bob knew this, because it was shining into his eyes. Coming slowly back into consciousness, he realized several things. One, Jay was shirtless. Two, Jay was still asleep. Three, he was curled up around Jay, and his head was on Jay's shirtless chest. Four, it was cold in the room, but Jay's wings were wrapped around him, and he was warm. Five, Jay's hand was down his pants and wrapped around his cock. Six, Jay was still asleep. His brain paused suddenly, even though his hips didn't. Wings? He opened his eyes. He was indeed wrapped in Jay's wings. Jay's wings. Jay's feathery appendages. Jay's. Wings. Jay. Had. Wings. It was like trying to force a square block through a round hole. His brain was trying not to grasp this fact, because people did not have wings. But Jay had wings and Jay was people. Why did Jay have wings? _Hah, I knew his back felt funny._ Bob lay there, warmly enclosed by Jay's wings, and being jacked off by Jay-in-his-sleep, boggled by the entire concept. Strange things had happened. Yes, they had. He would remember some of them later. But right now, this ranked at the very top. J'Kitty Mutating the boys in strange new ways.