Title: The One Where Nothing Happens Author: Charles (jcrewguy@gmail.com) Fandom: Askewniverse Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob Summary: Just a normal Saturday afternoon for Jay and Silent Bob. Rating: R Disclaimer: None of it's mine. Notes: Lek said I should do a Jay/Bob fic where nothing happened, a la Seinfeld. So I did. Don't say I didn't warn you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jay sits next to Silent Bob on the couch. Occaisionally, a joint is passed between them. Jay controls the remote for the TV. Click! "Coming up next, two convenience store clerks battle it out..." Click! "I met these angels, and they were..." Click! "To be the man, you�ve got to BEAT the man! Woooooooooooo!" Jay pauses in his tour of the channels and turns to Silent Bob. "You wanna do somethin�?" Silent Bob shakes his head. "Nah, me neither." Jay returns his attention to the TV. Click! "Neo, you are..." Click! "Looks like Team Rocket�s..." Click! "Dragon Slave!" Click! "Paul McGann doesn�t count." Click! "Yugi, would you just SHUT UP about the Heart of the Cards?!!" Click! "Ki-ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma-ma..." Click! "In the not too distant future, next Sunday AD..." Click! "Dino Thunder! Power up! Ha!" Click! "New! Bratz Embryoz!" Click! "Hi! I�m Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!" So they sit there. And watch TV. A normal Saturday afternoon for Jay and Silent Bob. Right down to their hands on each other's crotches.