Title: They -- Don't Let's Start Author: Luna "Tic" Vee Feedback: Makes Luna run smoothly without rust. Archive: Sure! Just let me know, eh? Spoilers: Nope. Rating: PG-13 for lanuage. Warning: Suicidal!Jay, Wise!Justice (dear lord no), Overused!Ellipses Pairing: Jay/Justice, unrequited (for the most part) Bob/Jay Sequels/Series: Part 2 of "They" series. Yes, tis a series now. Disclaimer: I own diddly squat. Jay and Silent Bob are property of Kevin Smith, View Askew, Miramax, and the Martians that live in Scott Mosier's left ear. Notes: This is a TMBG series, obviously. ^.^ To "Don't Let's Start", which, accordion to John Linnel, is "a song about not let's starting." More Notes: I got Mink Car today! Woo! It has M. Doughty! Woo! *** *Don't don't don't let's start This is the worst part Could believe for all the world That you're my precious little girl* Well... That was it. No more Justice. Everything. Everything gone. Everything goes wrong. Everything comes crashing down. Always. The cycle continues. Oh, it started out good enough. He'd gone in for his weekly visit. The chill of the slammer not even bothering the career criminal anymore. That eerie feeling of serenity should've been his first clue it was all going to fall. Walked into the visiting room thingy, whatever the fuck it was called, sat down as Justice walked to the other side of the glass and sat down. They chatted for a bit, but something seemed odd. Her glances weren't cast at his eyes, but at his speedily twiddling thumbs. He always was moving, one way or another. Her voice was lower than usual, as if she was choking something back. It also wobbled sometimes. Her whole posture was off. And she kept asking unimportant shit. Like how Bob was, how Bob was taking this, what was going on at home, how business was, if he'd gotten that kitten he'd been meaning to get... Unimportant shit. He should've known. *But don't don't don't let's start I've got a weak heart And I don't get around how you get around* Of course, after he'd calmed down his babbling, answering every stupid question Justice asked, never once wondering why she was avoiding important shit, like those future plans and all the shit they'd always talked about before. Then, when he eventually rambled out the words he constantly said to her, "I love you," Justice tensed and looked down, hair falling in front of her face. Silence. Total, absolute, ear-splitting silence. "Boo Boo Kitty Fuck? You alright?" Jay's eyes widened, worried that his beloved was in pain, from the odd reaction. "Jay..." came the choked sob of reply. Sob? She was... ...crying? "Justice?" "Jay... I'm sorry...but..." And his world fell down around him. Again. *When you are alone you are the cat, you are the phone You are an animal The words I'm singing now Mean nothing more than meow to an animal Wake up and smell the cat food in your bank account But don't try to stop the tail that wags the hound* On the bus home (Bob refused to let him drive the car), Jay's mind flooded with random thoughts and images and words and sounds and tastes and smells and SCREAMING, BLOOD-SHITTING RAGE! He sobbed as silently as he could, face buried in hands, blond locks cascading around him, hiding behind a curtain of gold. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to kick something. He wanted to kill something. He wanted to kill himself. He wanted to kill Justice. He wanted to die. His mind chittered on and on like a monkey on crack as it whirled and spun, dancing with colours and songs he'd never heard or seen. And all through it, blood coated his memories, turning them crimson, as his pain and anger collided in a scarlet tsunami behind his eyelids. *D, world destruction Over and overture N, do I need Apostrophe T, need this torture?* He would've rather had his eyes removed with fondue forks, and ramen flavouring powder poured in the empty sockets than to experience this again. Everything in his life. Always. Always. Always goes. Always breaks. Always leaves him starving and naked and crying in the street, only to find that he's back in his bed where he started. Always. *Don't don't don't let's start This is the worst part Could believe for all the world That you're my precious little girl* What had gone wrong? What had he done? He'd tried to be the perfect boyfriend. He tried to make it last. He kept himself, he saved himself, til his Kitten was out of jail... But now... "I thought you loved me." *But don't don't don't let's start I've got a weak heart And I don't get around how you get around* "I'm sorry, Jay. I know how much I mean to you... But I'm not for you. And you're not for me. It couldn't work. Besides, someone already loves you more than I ever could," she'd said with a sad smile. Cunt. What the fuck did she think she was talking about? Nobody loved him. He was alone. Anybody loved him, something always happened... *No one in this world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful Everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful* He never got what he wanted. He wanted love. He wanted a real home. He wanted to come home every night and have someone to give him a hug and a kiss and tell him he was special. And that everything would be alright, forever and ever. He never got that. He could die right that moment, and the only person who would care was Bob. That's probably about it. Bob was the only good thing to ever stay with him. The poor fool. Guess he didn't know he'd probably end up dead or something similarly bad like the others. Even love'd been killed by his presence. *They want what they're not and I wish they would stop saying, Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa Deputy dog dog a ding dang depadepa* Gibberish ran through his head and past his ears as they lazily registered that the people around him were talking. Whatever. As the bus pulled up to his stop, he stood up and headed to the front, getting off the moment the door opened. He wanted to get home and be done with it. Maybe he'd get stoned off his ass and fry the brain cells that held this memory. Maybe he'd kill himself. He didn't care. *D, world destruction Over and overture N, do I need Apostrophe T, need this torture?* Dragging his feet, he made his way down the street and to their building. Kid in his path. Kid now laying on the sidewalk swearing. At him? Yes. Did it matter? No. Nothing mattered. The only thing that did was just flushed down the shitter with the rest of his life. Maybe he'd go buy some underwear later. *Don't don't don't let's start This is the worst part Could believe for all the world That you're my precious little girl* His mind wizzed pictures of Justice just behind his eyelids as he blindly walked up the stairs of the cold building. Hm. He wasn't wearing a coat. He must've forgotten to wear one today. Bummer. "I thought you loved me..." his whisper echoed through the hollow stairwell. *But don't don't don't let's start I've got a weak heart And I don't get around how you get around* Stumbling into the apartment, pushing past a questioning Bob, who was concerned about the tears streaming down his face. Fuck Bob. Fuck everyone. His heart felt like it had been thrown to a rabid dingo. He made his way to the bathroom and threw open the medicine cabinet, shattering the mirror as it smacked the wall. *I don't want to live in this world anymore I don't want to live in this world* Jay must've downed at least forty-seven of the Advil by the time Bob had run in and smacked the bottle out of his hands. Jay tried to fight back, but by that time, he didn't care. He was going to die anyway. Let Bob make it as miserable as his life had been. But... Wait... Bob was... ...crying? Crying, screaming, pleading, then remembering, he snagged a bottle of ipecac out of the medicine cabinet and held Jay down, pouring it into his mouth. The blond, too dazed to fight, swallowed, and promptly, his stomach did flip-flops. Shooting up and gripping the seat, Jay promptly horked up everything that had passed his mouth in the last three days. The waffles from yesterday morning were oddly distinct. After he had finished, Bob wiped the boy's face with some toilet paper and flushed away the bile and quasi-digested foodstuffs. "Why?" Jay whimpered, shivering with sobs. "Because..." Bob murmured, holding him close. *Don't don't don't let's start This is the worst part Could believe for all the world That you're my precious little girl But don't don't don't let's start I've got a weak heart And I don't get around how you get around* *** Wow...this was trippy. O.o That's what I get for not using a better song (I wish I had "Pet Name", cause the lyrics rule for this) and trying to write sad when I'm happy. Ah well. I like pants. Man, It's So Loud In Here, ~Luna "Tic" Vee