Title: Send The Very Best
Author: Charles (jcrewguy@gmail.com)
Pairing: Jay/Metatron
Summary: Shopping for a card in a Hallmark store.
Rating: R for language.
Archive: Yes to list archives, otherwise ask.
Disclaimer: All hail King Smith. Not mine at all.
Notes: Wyo's idea. Blame her. ;-)

~~~~~~~~~



"I told you, he won't miss that fuckin' Showgirls shit on cable for nothin'! He's got the DVD, 
the tape, even the laserdisc, but that tubby bitch still watches it when it comes on TV!"

Metatron's voice was tight as he bit back a retort. "Fine. That did not mean you had to invite 
yourself along to go shopping for a card."

"Fuckin' a, I don't get many chances to shop in a fuckin' Hallmark!" Jay paused and looked over 
at a dumpy woman who appeared scandalized at his language. "What the fuck're you lookin' at?" Jay
nodded at the display of Precious Moments figurines. "Yo baby, howsabout you and I create a 
precious moment of our own? I'll meet you by the scented candles. Snoogans." He laughed as the 
woman hurried away.

Metatron rolled his eyes. "It's bad enough I have to shop for a card for her. Having you along 
makes it excruciating."

Jay grabbed a card with a nearly naked well-oiled hunk on the front of it. "Get this for her! 
She'd love it!"

Metatron swatted it away. "The creator of the universe will not recieve a card like that."

Jay frowned as he stuffed the card back into a slot. "Why not? I know she's got a sense of 
humor!"

"That may be true. However, I have standards. And a card like that does not meet them."

"Meeting standards? Who the fuck meets standards? I had to copy those fuckers in school, but I 
never met none."

"For fuck's sake. I told her you were a waste of bloody carbon, but she said 'Everything has a 
purpose.' I just wish I knew what yours was."