Title: A Year in the Life: A September to Remember
Author: Charles (jcrewguy@gmail.com)
Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob
Rating: R
Summary: Jay and Bob attempt to get their lives back in order after
the events of the last two months. But the forces of evil continue to
plot against them.
Disclaimer: Not mine. All hail Smith.
Notes: Written for the Year of Jay/Silent Bob. Thanks to Lek for
listening to me whine (and whine...) as I struggled with writer's
block and Luzmaria or beta reading. Kel, you were a tough act to
follow. *g* Mercury, you're up!

=================================================

It had been nice to spend some time with Bethany and Liz and Hope, but
it had only taken a few days for Jay and Bob to wear out their
welcome. While Hope was sad to see them go, Liz and Bethany were not.

They returned to their apartment, where a quick survey of the
surveillance equipment revealed that nothing amiss had happened while
they were... away. Jay snorted derisively as he eyed the stuffed
animals that had served as sentries during their absence.

"You mean we wasted money on those damn stuffed animals for nothin'?"

Silent Bob glared at Jay. Metatron's warning about Azrael having other
plans remained at the forefront of Bob's thoughts, especially now that
they were home.

Bob settled on the couch to think while Jay scrambled around the
apartment, gathering the stuffed animals and placing them in naughty
positions on the coffee table in front of the couch. He tried to tune
out Jay, but it was hard to ignore a unicorn doing naughty things to a
bear with its horn.

Elsewhere, Azrael ranted and raved and cursed the names of Jay and
Silent Bob. Despite being insubstantial, nothing more than a shadow
slightly darker than normal that caused passers-by to feel unnerved
for a moment, he was ready to start with his next plan of attack. The
junkie he'd used to attack Jay in the club was discarded, forgotten.

He knew that someone had intervened and ruined his carefully crafted
plan. Azrael was fairly certain it was Metatron, but knew better than
to move against him now in his weakened state. First, get the Prophets
out of the way. And then? He would make Metatron beg for mercy. For
himself and for Her.

Bob paced around the apartment as Jay continued to play with the
animals, doing his best to shut out the noises Jay was making. Bob was
so lost in his thoughts that he was startled to feel Jay reaching into
one of the pockets of his overcoat for a cigarette.

Jay threw his hands up in the air as Bob glared at him. "I'm sorry
about that Lunchbox. I was just trying to get me a smoke without
interruptin' you. Didn't mean to make you all angry and shit with me."

Silent Bob sighed and patted Jay on the head. He signaled for Jay to
wait a moment while he reached into one of his many pockets for the
cigarette Jay wanted. Bob frowned as the first pocket turned up empty
and then another and another. Then he remembered that Bethany had
asked both he and Jay to throw out any cigarettes or other things that
might be harmful to Hope.

"Aw, shit," Jay said when he saw the look on Silent Bob's face.
"You're out of smokes?"

Bob nodded. He patted another pocket for the keys to the apartment and
found they were still there. He headed for the door, only to have Jay
step in front of it and block him.

"Where the fuck do you think you're goin' by yourself? Don't you
remember what happened at the club when I went on the dance floor by
myself? And now you think I'm just gonna let you walk your fat
defenseless ass down to the QuickStop for a pack of smokes alone?
Hells no!"

Jay stepped away from the door with a warning glare at Bob. "I'm just
gettin' my hat and then we'll go. Don't think of bein' all Solid Snake
and sneakin' out on me while I grab it, you fat fuck."

Silent Bob sighed and made a shoo-ing motion at Jay. He returned in a
minute, knit cap firmly in place.

"Now we can go," Jay said with some satisfaction in his voice. He
wasn't going to let anything happen to his tubby bitch, no sir. Not on
*his* watch.

The two of them left the apartment, Bob locking the door behind them.
They didn't bother with the security equipment because they knew that
if Azrael wanted to, he would find a way around the technology.

During the walk to the QuickStop, there was an unspoken question that
lingered between both of them. Who could they turn to for help? No one
they knew would likely believe them, and while Metatron had done what
he could, they couldn't depend on the Voice of God to bail them out
whenever they were in trouble.

Azrael had a hard-on for vengeance against the two of them for what
they had done to him, so it was their problem and they'd figure out a
way to handle it on their own.

Jay acting as Bob's protector made for an interesting role reversal
whenever they went out, and invariably, people who knew them would
comment on it. Bob would just shrug as if to say, "He's going through
a phase right now," whenever asked about it. Most people knew better
than to ask Jay. Those few that did got a response that involved lots
of expletives and a variety of reasons but invariably ended with,
"Yeah, he's my fuckin' boyfriend. Got a problem with it?"

As the weeks passed, Jay and Bob grew less guarded. This mostly meant
that Bob could go to the bathroom without Jay hovering right outside
he door.

Azrael was not dormant during this time. He had devised a new plan of
attack. Taking out just one of the Prophets had failed. This time he
would go after both.